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Monday and already bored.

    I generally come to the conclusion that when I am literally jumping out of my chair and screaming obscenities at the computer that it's time to take a break from playing whatever game I am involved in.:)    So while I let my ears stop steaming, I thought I would blog.
    Passed my test Friday.    Got the congratulatory email from Microsoft today.   I have to email them and provide some verification, and then in four to six weeks they send me my welcome package with all the information I will need about being an official MCSE.    Will do that later tonight.    The test was every bit as evil as I thought it would be.   I don't feel bad for giving myself a month to completely memorize the three hundred and forty three question practice test.    My memory saved my ass.    Took me a full hour to finish the exam.    The only other test that took me that long was the very first one.   My father was ecstatic.   He took me to Wendy's for lunch, and then we went to see a baseball game.  It was the first time I have been to the Albuquerque Sport Stadium since they remodeled it.   Hell, I hadn't been to a ball game since about 1989.     I miss it being the Albuquerque Dukes, who were the farm team for the dodgers.    I grew up watching many future Dodgers play.  But the Dukes were sold off, and became the Portland Beavers, and the new team in Albuquerque, is the Albuquerque Isotopes.    Too many Simpsons fans voted when they needed a new team name.     They are now the farm team for the Florida Marlins.    And they suck.    At least the pitchers do.    They were a buch of rag arms, and got schooled by the Nashville Sounds 11-4.    But regardless, it was fun to go to a game again, and the new stadium is very, very nice.
    My father is now razing me about getting my resume made.   And I certainly won't dwaddle.   I'm going to go see my friend who is writing it for me at some point this week.    But I'm going to take it easy for a week or so.   I think I've earned that much.   Since I started the whole exam process last May, I have studied just about every single day, weekends included.    I have been very disciplined about this, and in the end it all paid off.   If I have to wait 4-6 weeks for my welcome introductory package, I figure I have a little bit of time.
    To celebrate on Saturday, I went to a "Mars party", that I was invited to.    It's been weird this year partying with Tech students again and being in with the campus party scene.    I didn't realize how long it's been since I was a permanent fixture with the campus drunks.    My friends' band Microcosm played the party, and afterwards, we just drank beer and listened to music.    The sky was crystal clear, so one of the people that lived at the house got out a very nice telescope and we checked it out.     I ran into some friends I hadn't seen in a while, and after I got throughly trashed, I had a good time talking and hanging out.    I finally stumbled home about 5AM.  
    This testing has been such a regular part of my life over the last few months, that it feels weird now that the whole process is over.   I've actually enjoyed seeing my parents every day and always being able to have a home cooked meal.    If they are not against this idea, I may keep going over for dinner.    It was a much needed facet of my life, and something to focus on.   It was a bit of stability in what has been a very painful and tumultous year.  
    My mother gets back from Nicaragua tomorrow.   It will be great to be able to tell her that I finished.   This whole thing has been a skeleton in my closet for a long time now.    But I did it.  I set out to do something educational to better my life and my future, and this time I finally did it.  There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel.     So much has happened since the fateful day I quit the store and decided it was time for a change.   That it was time to aspire to do more than be a cashier for the rest of my life.    It was a hard, and scary decision.   The known evil often feels safer than the unknown.     There is no doubt in my mind that if I had just taken a position with the new company, I'd be back to where I was when Furr's Supermarkets Inc. went under.    After a rough six months or so, I would have gotten my hours back, worked my way back up the seniority charts, and had my good pay and benefits.   But that would have been it.   There would have been nowhere to go from there.    The whole process of pursuing this certification and turning that into a career has been a very scary one.    So much had to happen, and so much went wrong along the way.    But I stuck with it.   And I did it.     Since I made this choice, many people have lost faith in me and given up.   Since I made this choice, two girlfriends have lost faith in me and walked away.     But somehow I always knew, once I was ready, that I would do this.    And that didn't lessen how scary it was, and how hard things got sometimes.   But I did it.  
    This is certainly not over.   There is one last, and very major step that has to happen.    I have to turn this into a good job.    But it's just one big step in what has been a whole long list of steps that I have taken one at a time over the course of the two years since I left the store.    It feels good to only be looking at one last step.    It feels like all this hardship and suffering will finally pay off.
    But this week, I'm going to be a slack off.   I'm going to write.   I'm going to see if I can beat another game or two from my collection.   And I'm going to listen to my new favorite group Apoptygma Berzerk.  (More on them later).   I've fucking earned it.   This has almost, but not quite been a Pyric victory, but it has certainly been hard fought.    So I'm going to enjoy it.   I think I hear my Serious Sam 2 game beckoning me back.:)


Posted Monday afternoon
September 1st, 2003



A look at home.

    Well, according to the book, men are from Mars.<g>    Okay.  Now I have my bad joke for the day out of my system.   Just got back
from the campus observatory that my father runs.    It was a bit cloudy tonight, and Mars kept appearing and disappearing, but I still
got to see it through a 20 inch telescope.    I think sometime over the next few nights, I'm going to make my father take me up so that I
can check out Mars again on a clearer night.   I figure if it spent 60,000 years getting this close, it won't be in a hurry to leave over the
next few days.

    Got a perfect score on my practice test tonight.   Still have anxiety attacks and have even had a few certifiable nightmares about this
last test on Friday.    But hopefully I will be sufficiently prepared.    Gonna unwind for a few with some first person shooter.

Posted  late Wednesday night
August 27, 2003



Surveys and News

    Had a pretty enjoyable time last night.    Every year to welcome in the new freshman at NM Tech, they have a get together they call
the Freshman Toast.    The Campus Police decided to be dicks about it, and tried to shut it down.    Little did they realize what lengths
people will go to in Socorro to throw a party.    So it was all relocated to Box Canyon outside of town.  

    It was just as I got to Box Canyon and inspected the starring sky above that I realized that almost exactly a year before I had been out
there with Lisa, holding her and watching the sky.     At any rate, the indutrious people at the campus radio station soon had a generator
working and quickly got lights and a sound system going, and had a full rave going in the canyon.     They tapped a keg, mixed up two
giant containers of jungle juice, and it was officially a party.      Two rather disreputable looking individuals, who didn't look like tech
students decided to smoke, and when a lot of the new students smelled them burning the herb, came over to partake.   I was laughing,
and wondering how many people where going to try to share one joint, when one of these people said, "Oh don't worry.   We brought
half an ounce."  LOL.   They did their best to turn it into "Hot Box Canyon".     Once the crowd was sufficiently warmed up by the rave,
my friends' punk band I had come out to see got set up for a show.    Just as they were about to play, the generator blew, and they were
delayed for half an hour while they fixed it.    Then it started to rain.    Chased off quite a few people, but there were still quite a few
paritiers not intimidated by the weather.    The show finally started, and the band was a big hit although the rain screwed up both
Lance's and Steve's distortion pedals.    

    I was extremely drunk by the time I got home last night, and ended up talking on the phone with my friend Candi until about 5:00 AM
when I finally sobered up.   Been dragging all day, but managed to get through it all.  

    My last test is on Friday.   I'm scared to death, but only missing 5 questions out of 343 when I take the test.   Hopefully by Friday, I will be
ready to rock.

    At any rate, without further ado, Mary's Tuesday Two.   Because she rules.

   1. How old were you when you got "the talk", and

    Never got one.   Got rather detailed descriptions of the plumbing from the sex ed talks at school that started when I was in the fourth
grade.    Had a full sailor's vocabulary by the time I was in third grade.    Ended up getting the rest of the details from a book I swiped
off of my parent's shelf.   It was called, "What to tell your children about sex."   I stole it and read it cover to cover.   Far and away the
most interesting and informative section was the last chapter entitled, "Looking forward to marriage".    When my mother caught me with
it, she took one look and said, "Great.  Now I don't have to explain anything."

   2. How did you feel about it? (Stunned? Amazed? Titillated? *g*)

   I was already 12 by the time I got this book, and had a pretty good idea of all the mechanics.   So finally reading explicit descriptions
wasn't really a shock to my system.    I was intrigued.


    And now without further ado, The Pyscho Survey.

    This weeks theme?  Blown Away. . . .

1) Name a movie that completely rocked your world and changed your life.

There are a handful of movies that have done this, but I have to say, without a doubt, that the movie that still to this day never fails to
leave my sitting quietly with shock and awe by the end was Se7en with Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt.    I had no idea how intense
it was going to be when I first when to see it, and had a pretty good buzz going.    It quickly sucked me in, and I found myself getting
more and more wound up and agitated as I watched, for reasons, I couldn't put my finger on.    I had dealt with gore, and bleakness
in movies before, but there was just something that was making me feel off.    By the time they are driving the killer out to the final
scene, and the killer is dicussing why he did the things he did, it was official.   My mind was blown.     I was in shell shock for days.

2) Name a song or a band that totally blew you away.

It's always a life and energy bringing shot in the arm when I discover new music that I really, really like.    Always like a deep breath
of fresh air.   But every once in a while, I hear something that does more than invigorate me.    Once in a while I hear something that
blows me away.    The most significant instance of this that I can remember is the very first time I heard the band Slayer.    I was in a
phaze of my life where there was no such thing as too heavy.    I had been building up for years.   I had gone from rock to hair metal.
When the appeal of hair metal grew thin, I was quick to move on to heavy metal, such as bands like Iron Maiden.    Then Metallica
breaks out of the underground with speed metal.    Was an adjustment to be sure, but after giving them a good listen, Master of
Puppets and Ride the Lightning are still two of my favorite albums ever.     Shortly thereafter, I discovered Megadeth, and soon could
sing Peace Sells, But Who's Buying from memory.     But from the back page adds of Hit Parader magazine and from new tour shirts
that started to appear at school, I soon realized I had just scratched the surface of the big bad world of underground metal.    All
the serious metalheads kept talking about a band called Slayer.  

My friend ends up borrowing a copy of the then new Slayer album Reign in Blood from Socorro High School's most vocal Satan
worshiper.     Me and this friend are up late one night playing Dungeons & Dragons when he throws it in.     From the moment Tom
Araya starts screaming at the beginning of the song Angel of Death, my jaw was hanging open.     Twenty minutes and ten songs later
I was shell shocked from the music.    It was far and away the heaviest and most extreme music I had ever heard, and initially, I hated it.
Was completely blown away.    A few days later I decided to give it another chance.   So I asked my friend to tape it for me.   I
told myself that maybe it just had to grow on me, and I didn't like the idea that there existed metal that was too heavy for me.   So he
gives me a copy, and it finds it's way into my walkman a lot that spring during track meets.    Took about four listens before it really
started to grow on me.   By the time I got used to it, it made me a Slayer fan for life.  

3) Name a book that . . .you guessed it. . . blew you away.

The last book I read to have official, mind blowing status was Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein.   Of all the books I have ever
read describing better societies in the future, this one had the most plausible, practical and well thought out one.    It paints a vivid
picture of a world I would like to live in, war with alien bugs aside.   I don't think I have ever read a more powerful and compelling
book about human ethics and personal responsibility anywhere.     It's not just a book.   It's a way of life.     Don't bother with the
movie.   The movie was a piece of garbage that happened to have the same name.    But I can't recommend the book highly enough.

4) Name the last event in the news that blew you away.

Would have to be 9-11.    Knew the world had just changed forever, although I found the coverage of Operation Iraqi Freedom
very compelling to watch.   Just not quite as intense as 9-11 was.

5) Name a concert performance that blew you away.

I was at a Testament, Megadeth, Judas Priest concert in Rochester, NY back in the fall of 1990.     I was loving it.   It was one of my
favorite concerts ever.    One of the things I remember the most, was watching Dave Mustaine play guitar during the beginning of
the song Take No Prisoners.     I could only stand there slack jawed, thinking, "Wow.   He really does play that fast."


Survey Trivia:   The expression blown away dates back to the Revolutionary War.    When captors did not have the means or desire
to look after a prisoner after they finished interrogating them, they would load a cannon.   They would then tie the prisoner to the barrel of the cannon and light it off.    Hence, the prisoner was "Blown Away".   Not only were they dead, but the mess landed someplace else where
the soldiers didn't hvae to deal with it.     The expression then vanished for a while until the Vietnam Conflict, where it became a more
generic expression referring to death in a firefight.  

That's all for today folks.:)


Posted Tuesday Night
August 26th, 2003




The things I do for my cat. . . .

    I promised Pinky I would teach her how to blog.   She always wants to walk on the keyboard to say hi in chat.   But is that enough?
No.   Of course not.    I have to be pestered and harrassed while I blog too.     So without further ado, I'm going to let my cat blog so
that she can get it out of her system.    Probably won't, but it's worth a try.    For those of you who don't speak cat, I'll go back and add
subtitles so that you can understand her rant.    I'll translate and post before I go look for my dustbuster to clean the cat hair off the key-
board.

  
mnj       nhbjnhv hhhhgfkjgtkmgvfbkjmkvb

( the psycho cat survey - Eric)

bmv kbvjmb vkmbvllknb kmvgftkmgktvg

( Eric should really feed me more)  (That's not a question Pinky)

jvgjnvjmnhrfdmngvbjmggvbkvb

( He shouldn't sleep so late either) (That's not a question either Pinky.  You have to ask questions on a blog survey)

 jnhvvgfbhnbdchjnvgjgvbbjmnvgfmnjm

( And he really should buy more cat toys and treats) (Pinky, if you aren't going to ask a question, it's no more blog
for you)

nvgfbmnfcjfjmnvgfchjnbdjnmhkjkjhghbhn

(Why doesn't everyone have a cat?) (Maybe because they hear the truth from people like me about how cats like
you behave).

bkiggvfgvfbhnbhgfvgbjnhjugvgbhnjjhn

( Pinky, I'm not even going to translate that)

hbhnbhnbfcfvgfhnbjhnhbgfcfgvgvfhjhnjb

(I know you literally didn't bite the hand that feeds you, but scratching doesn't win many points either)

vvbvghjnjhjjggvbhjyjihbggvgvbhbjhjucddcgbvhyijhnbdfghjhnjnm

(This is boring the shit out of me already.   I need a nap.  And more food.   How do you sit and play with this computer
for so long everyday?) ( All right.   It's off the keyboard for you.)


Well, it was worth a try.:)

Posted Thursday night
August 21st, 2003




Another Pointless Life Update.

Had a very exciting and productive day.    Took the day off.   These days, if I expect to get anything meaningful accomplished, it certainly
doesn't happen at work.:)     I had four things I intended to get done, and I got two of them done.    First and foremost, I took my practice
test again as per nightly ritual.    Only got 24 wrong out of 343 questions.    Hopefully I will be up to 100% right by next Thursday.    But
even before my nightly study I went to visit a friend of mine.    She is actually the mother of one of my old drinking buddies that works up
at the NM Tech library.    Once upon a time, she took a class in how to write killer resumes, and she offered a long time ago to write me
a very good one if I ever needed.    So I went to see her, and I gave her a Silencer CD.    We actually ended up gossiping and catching up
for an hour and half before we got to discussing my resume and potential job with her daughter up in Albuquerque.    It was a lot of fun.

I still have to call the landlord about my plumbing tomorrow and see about having my old IQ tests from the school sent to Mensa so that I can
apply to join.     But those phone calls will be made tomorrow morning.     I'm done for today, and officially into goof off time.:)


Posted early Thursday Evening.
August 21st, 2003



Man! I feel like a . . . brain damaged TV viewer.

Studying has been keeping me at my parent's house pretty late these days.   Even in relatively fast mode, it takes me a while to get through
all 343 questions on my practice test.    Only got 42 wrong tonight, which is about half of what I got wrong last night.     So I'm learning this
stuff, slowly but surely.    Looks like the big day for test number seven will be on the 28th.    Now that I've picked a day the panic attacks
are starting to kick in, but they haven't been too bad.    Especially now that I'm over the hump in terms of learning new questions and am
on the fast track to being able to ace the whole practice test.    Now I just need to be disciplined, and by this weekend, I need to be also
making time to study the subnetting table.

At any rate, this evening I was eating my dinner before I started the test.   My father took off to a meeting so I had the god damnit (i.e. the
TV remote) to myself.    I'm flipping through channels when I found a Shania Twain concert on NBC, live from Chicago.    I ended up
watching it for a few songs out of morbid curiousity.    It was like a vehicle accident.   I couldn't look away.    Normally when an extremely
attractive woman is one who sings music I can't stand, it's time to hit the mute button, but I didn't have the energy to do so, until I got up
enough energy to just turn the TV off.     Made a few observations as I watched the show.   1) She dresses like a soccer mom.  2) Half
of her band looks like way past their prime wannabe Gap models.  3) The other half look like rejects for a hair metal band.  4) Her
drummer looks like Dennis Rodman dressed for a ski trip.  4) The stage lighting made it looked like a set reject for Xanadu. 5)  I have yet
to see anything more sad and pathetic than the dance moves her fiddle players were attempting on stage.    At least the boy bands that
dance like that hire a choreographer.    <heavy sarcasm>Boy I tell you, with all that, she really knows how to create a country atomsphere.
</heavy sarcasm>.

Although at the beginning of the summer I was going through an entire bottle of ephedrine every four days or so, now that I have largely
flushed my system clean I got a pleasant surprise today.    Got a pretty good rush from having an entire two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew
Code Red.    Put a little spring in my step, which is not necessarily a good thing when you have to sit in front of a computer, but I was
rather productive.

Finally got news from Nicaragua.    Looks like my grandfather is going to pull through it.   He's home from the hospital, can sort of speak,
has use of his arm again.   Just can't walk yet.    But he's a very stubborn and independent soul (Runs in the family <g>), and I'm sure he'll
get tired of sitting around and manage to get himself up and around again.

At any rate, here is Mary's Tuesday Two:

1. What is your favorite on-screen kiss?

Hmmm.  I usually watch movies for the body count.   I'll have to think about this one.   It's been a while since I've seen it, but the whole
love scene in L.A. Story where Steve Martin and Victoria Tennant sneak outside from the fund raising dinner is one of my favorite love
scenes ever.   Not just for what it showed, but for what it didn't show.   What it implied and the tone it set was more powerful than any
scene I ever did see that left nothing to immagination.

2. Who is your favorite on-screen couple?

Hmmmm.   An even tougher one.   Pretty high up on the list would have to be John Cusack and Minnie Driver in Grosse Point Blank.
Renee Zellwegger and Colin Firth in Bridget Jones's Diary would have to be pretty high on the list too.    Along with Richard Dreyfuss
and Madeliene Stowe in Stakeout.


Still with me?  LOL.  Onto this week's PYSCHO SURVEY!!!!

This week's theme:  There is a last: <fill in the blank> survey appearing on a lot of blogs, so I am going to do the Last survey. . . OF DEATH.

1) When is the last time you injured yourself, greviously or otherwise through your own stupidity/clumsiness?

This would be the infamous, broke my arm because I was standing on a swivel chair incident.

2) When is the last time you inadvertently made a very serious mess?

Last week, when I was trying to clear the drain in my kitchen sink, I finally got it draining, only to realize it was just leaking into the cabinet below the sink and along the back wall of the kitchen.    That was a disgusting mess.

3) When is the last time you deliberately made a very serious mess?

When I was swan diving into my closet last week to catch and kill a cricket.

4) When is the last time you slept in significantly later than you had intended to?

That would be this morning.   It's quite the ritual for me.   I have learned to reset my alarm clock without really waking up.

5) When is the last time you managed to seriously embarrass yourself?

The other night, when I missed questions on my practice test that I should have known and usually got right.

6) What was the last disaster you created in the kitchen?

A couple weeks ago, I made myself seven cheeseburgers for dinner.   When I tried to clean up, I think all the grease is what clogged my
drain.

7) What messy disaster in your life has finally been cleaned up?

The stains on the bathroom floor from being sick and passed out over the 4th of July weekend are finally gone.

8) When is the last time you found something nasty and uneatable in your fridge (and what was it?)

There were these three grapefruits my mother gave me that I never ended up eating.    About four months later, I discovered they were
still there.

9) When is the last time something that you ate came back to haunt you?

Last weekend, for food during our all night Dungeons & Dragons game, my friend Bill made Frito Pies.   I had to cut myself off after
seven.   Right before bed I got one of those chile burps that makes the back of your throat feel like you've been pepper sprayed and
makes you beg for morphine.

That's all for today folks.:)

Currently Playing in Winamp: Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine

Quote of the Day: "My Moral Standing is Lying Down" - Nine Inch Nails - "The Only Time."

Posted Tuesday Night.
August 19, 2003




Another of Eric's pointless lists and other news.

I completely aced the first 200 questions on my practice test, so this weekend I am going tackle the whole 343 question practice test.   So now,
I am tentatively going to be taking the last test around August 29th or 30th.    I'm actually kind of excited that everything is coming together.   My
plumbing war continues.   I got my shower to drain normally, and thought I was making progress with the kitchen sink when I realized it was just
leaking out of the pipes into the cabinet below.   Boy, that was a mess.   I'm going to call my friend Art tomorrow.  He volunteered to look at it for
me.  He's an accomplished plumber, and said he would look at it for free.  

Was in chat tonight and we got talking about movies and gunplay and swordplay when I was asked if I ever watched Highlander.   So it gave me
an idea for another stupid list.

Eric's Top Ten Gunplay Movies.


The following movies are ones I love to death for no other reason than they have excellent gunplay.    Well, I'm exaggerating.   Some of them are
good for other reasons too.   But I make no illusions about what I want when I rent an action movie.   In no particular order.

1. The Matrix:  Name a geek anywhere that doesn't have the number memorized of the DVD segment with the lobby firefight.   From the minute
Keanu states, "I'll need guns" and the racks scroll in, I was already pumping with adrenaline at what was to come.    And boy did it deliver.   Not
only was the lobby fight fantastic, but seeing him spray the agents with the minigun in the helicopter was a classic moment in cinematic firefights.

2. Desperado:  Robert Rodriguez's sequel to the classic El Marachi is one of the most underrated action movies ever.   From the moment Antonio
Banderas declares, "No! Not Yet!" and draws two Ruger P90s out of his sleeves, you know you are in for a good fight.    Once this movie starts,
it doesn't slow down.    The icing on the cake is the firefight with the drug lord's henchmen when his two mercenary friends bring in James Bond style
guitar cases with hidden machine guns and rocket launchers inside.

3. Equlibrium:  This sci-fi action picture seemed to come and go with little notice.   It's a shame really, because it was well acted, and had some of the best action sequences ever for a movie of it's type.    The plot is a bit Fahrenheit 451/Logan's Run style cheesy, but the action and solid acting more than make up for it.     The main characters embrace a form of martial arts they call Gun-Kata, and when they get into fights, the results are
nothing less than breathtaking, often putting sequences in the Matrix to shame.

4. Heat:  This is a whole lot of movie, that never fails to completely suck me away into another world for three hours every time I watch it.   I'm
going to say what many will consider a sacriledge against modern movie lore, but screw the Godfather.    This movie is Al Pacino and Robert
DeNiro's finest work.     Michael Mann's epic crime drama has all the substance and none of the fluff of the very best of Miami Vice.    It's
centerpiece is an 18 minute bank robbery sequence that turns into one of the best firefights ever filmed.    With no heavy use of special effects and
good editing, this movie succeeds where many fail, and delivers a fight so good, that I literally ducked when I saw it in the theater for fear of being
hit with a stray bullet.

5. Aliens:  From the minute you see the Colonial Marines arming up with the M-41A1 Pulse Rifles, Smart Guns and Flame Units, you just know
there is going to be a serious brawl and the movie delivers, more than once, not the least of which was Ellen Ripley's showdown with the queen alien in the nest of eggs.    Bullets are flying and you just can't help but smile as she dispatches the alien hordes.

6. Leon: The Professional:   Luc Besson's action epic is a modern day masterpiece.   The story of a hit man that takes in a trains a twelve year old girl is an action packed extravaganza from start to finish.    When dirty DEA agent Gary Oldman calls for reinforcements by screaming,
"EEEEEVVVVEEERYYYOOONNNEEE!!!!!!!", you know you are in for a good fight, and the movie delivers.

7. Robocop 2:   This under appreciated sequel to the classic cyberpunkian movie Robocop is very lacking in certain departments, but certainly doesn't not skimp on production or action.     All of my gripes with this movie are completely forgotten by the end when Robocop meets his
replacement, Robocop 2 for a cybernetic showdown of epic proportions.    The bullets begin to fly and there is much dying to behold.   Gets me
going every time I see it.

8. True Romance:   This Quentin Tarantino/Tony Scott masterpiece is not really an action movie per se.   That doesn't stop me from enjoying the
action that it does provide.   Namely the point blank showdown at the end between the cops, the dealers and the mafia.    The tension is high, and
by the time the bullets are flying, you can't help but feel wound up tight as a spring, biting your nails until you see who survives.

9. The Killer:   This movie is one of the reasons long time fans of John Woo were sick with dissappointment after going to see his Americanized
Mission: Impossible 2.    It just couldn't hang.     The Killer is one of his Hong Kong gangster movies that had something many American action movies seem to be lacking in these days: action.    The story of a cop and a hit man that cross paths and team up to save a blind woman is one of
the most violent and intense movies ever.   The tag lines do not kid when they say One Cop, One Hitman, Ten Thousand Bullets.    By the time
the final firefight in the church is over, you can't help but feel both shell-shocked and elixirated at the fight you have just witnessed.

10.  Hard Boiled:  Bar none, this is the best action movie ever made.  End. Period.   Action movies don't get any better than this ever.   Many have
written off John Woo movies as pitched fights with a few stops for plot.   This is certainly true in this case.   But that doesn't stop it from sucking
you in and keeping you on the edge of your seat.   It culminates in a 40 minute firefight and climactic battle inside of a hospital with gunplay, action
and a body count of the likes that has never been seen in cinematic history.     A pure adrenaline ride that gets you every single time you see it.   If
you are even a casual fan of good action movies, don't miss this one.    It's a wild ride you will never forget.

Honorable Mention: 3000 Miles to Graceland, The Replacement Killers, Soldier, Ronin, A Better Tomorrow, A Better Tomorrow II, Predator 2,
Way of the Gun


Playing on Winamp:  The Scorpions - Blackout (*snicker*)

Posted very late Thursday Night.
August 14th, 2003



At War with my Plumbing and Other Matters

Waiting to see if the drain cleaner will clear out the drain in the sink.    As soon as it drains I want to throw in some foaming snake stuff.   Seemed to work very well on the bathroom sink.      In the meantime, decided to blog.  

I think it's safe to say I'm back in a computer game mode.    I'm now actively trying to finish three at once.    Last night was a marathon session on Dues Ex.   I'm really getting into that game now, and may try to finish that one first.      This is not to say I've been wasting ALL of my time.    Have also been a very productive writer.    Finished my part of a collaboration Mary and I dreamed up.    This time around we are writing a story for her universe.   I have high hopes for it, in spite of my involvement.    Collaborations are always lots of fun.    Now that that little project is done, I can focus on my ghost story for the challenge.    The hardest thing so far about that one is that I'm trying very hard to keep it relatively short.    I don't want anyone put off from reading it on challenge night because of it's length.     But I'm fairly happy with the way it's turning out.     The set-up pretty much wrote itself.    Now comes the crucial part where I try to scare the reader out of three days of sleep.   Gotten good feedback from the one scary scene I have been working on, so I have high hopes for the whole story.     Already finished my humorous ghost story, and I want to have a good scary one too.

Normally, I would feel bad about wasting time like this when other things are at hand, but as of tonight, I only got three wrong out of 200 of the practice questions on my prep test for networking, so that is coming along better than I had hoped.    Hopefully by Saturday I will be tackling the whole 343 question practice test, and if I continue to go at this rate, I will be able to take the final test two weeks or so from Saturday.     Also have to give myself a week to study and memorize the subnetting class tables, but that shouldn't be too bad.    I can learn the basic four tier one and just give myself a refresher on binary counting.    It will be easier than learning the giant subnetting table.    Then I have my rating, and it's off to a real job.

My only other real hobby this summer has been cricket hunting.   Due to an unusally wet spring, the crickets are out in droves this year, and quite a few found their way into my apartment.    I don't normally mind crickets like I hate roaches, but when they decided to chirp all night, I decided some mandatory steps were in order.     Air freshner works very effectively at stunning them when they are out in the open, but unfortunately, they decided to camp out in other portions of the apartment that are hard to get to.    So I found myself rigging contraption to be able to spray into awkward cracks and corners.    The most challenging hunt was the one in my closet.   Took my days to stalk and catch him, but I kept my spray and flashlight handy and with a dramatic swan dive after four nights of hunting, I got it.    Then I spent another four nights cleaning up the mess in the closet after the swan dive.:)

Without further ado, Mary's Tuesday Two.   Because she rules.    Who else would participate in a workday Sixteen Candles quote contest?:)

1. What is your all-time favorite joke?

This varies from time to time.   Hmmmm.  Current favorite:
What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?  Crib Death.

2. Be honest now…have you ever laughed so hard you’ve pee’d in your pants?

Nope.  Choking on something I was trying to swallow when I cracked up is the closest I've come to
disaster via laughing.

That's all for today folks.   I'm off to play some Dues Ex or get some writing done.  Haven't decided which yet.

Currently on Winamp: Depeche Mode - It's No Good (Paul Oakenfold Remix)

Quote of the Day: "What we need is a good nuclear war" - Eric Spargo

Posted early Wednesday night
August 13th, 2003



Just when I think my life can't get any more complicated. . .

So I go over to my parent's house tonight for dinner and studying.    My father announces that we are eating with my grandmother.   She had decided to cook for us since my mother is away.    So he sends me around while he locks up the house and shuts down the swamp cooler.   So I wander around happily and let myself in, and find my grandmother bleeding on the floor, dazed after having just knocked herself out cold.    I freaked out of course but quickly helped her up to a chair until my father made it around.   He quickly hauled her off to the hospital of course, so I just ate and played with the dog until he got back.   Didn't get to start my practice test until later, but got through the next set of 100 questions.  

I'm hoping in another three weeks, I'll be ready for the last test, and after I get my rating, I have a very hot job lead to follow up on.   At the rate I'm going though, I'll have to survive a surprise nuclear war before everything settles down.    Oh well.  Ce'La'Vie.


Posted late Thursday night
August 7th, 2003



The Moment You've All Been Dreading: The Return of the Psycho Survey.

Yep folks.  It's time to do another psycho survey.     This weeks theme, is a continuation of my last one, with a slight modification.   Songs with evil sounding names and fan fic.

1. Overkill - Hello From the Gutter.   Which fan fiction gives you the strongest "unclean thoughts"?

There is a story from The Other Side by Sandi I saved to my hard drive entitled "Little Bo Beep and the Sex God" about Honey propositioning Dan to be her first that always gets me every time.

2. Godflesh - Love is a Dog from Hell.   Which fan fiction was the most heartbreaking for you to read?

Tough call, but I'd have to go with Mary's Come in From the Cold.    Dan getting into trouble with Joanne for something that totally wasn't his fault hit a little close to home for me.

3.  Metallica - To Live is to Die.   Name a fan fiction you liked where a major character died.

Have to go with Susansuth's A Time to Kill, A Time to Heal.   Trevor McAllister's death was very gratifying to read.

4.  Ministry - Vex & Siolence.   Name one of the most bizarre fan fiction stories that you still loved.

DQ did a dear diary story about Jim meeting Trixie in the preserve so that he could make her a vampire.    I really digged that one, and the subject matter was very unexpected.

That's all for today folks.:)


Posted very late Tuesday Night
August 5th, 2003




The Natural Order of Things

I swear that I think there is a new law of physics that only applies to my apartment.   The Law of Conservation of Drainage.   The minute I get one drain cleared, another blocks up.    Now that I finally have my bathroom sink in perfect working order, the kitchen sink is plugged and draining very, very slowly.    I had a rather vicious battle with it last night.    Wasn't a pretty picture.   Hopefully tonight's battle will go better.

Wanted to thank everyone for all the kind emails I got in response to last night's post.    You people are too good to me.   Last I heard, my mother arrived safely in Nicaragua.   Hopefully everything is going well down there.

Oh well.   I'm off to play some Serious Sam.

Playing in Winamp Right Now:  KMFDM - Nihil

Quote of the Day:  "Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts" - Jim Morrison

Posted early Monday evening,
August 4th, 2003



Life Update

    Been an interesting last couple of days.    First and foremost was our unofficial reunion party.    Last night we got the whole old gang back together and got raging drunk.    It had been too long.
    
    The evening started with a concert.   Some of co-workers and gaming buddies have started a punk band called Microcosm.     They've been together for about two and half months.    It's kind of a reincarnation of a previous for fun band that Lance and Ian and a few others used to have where they played cover tunes, usually of Dead Kennedys and Screeching Weasel.    This time around, they decided to take this project much more seriously, and they are writing their own songs, although they still do a few covers.     So they recruited one of our old warehouse and construction people, Bill's cousin Art, to play drums, and this 40 something astronomer we game with to play bass, and they began fervently working on original material.    So last night they finally felt they were ready for a show.

    Bill pretty much organized the whole party, because the last several times he has been down to Socorro, it's been to game, and he wanted to get shit faced again.    So he showed up around 5:00.    We hung out for a few, and he gave me a late birthday present, the computer game: Medal of Honor: Allied Assault.     I will probably leap into it as soon as I finish Serious Sam 2: The Second Encounter.     Then we went to drop off our cooler of beer, and then we went by the shop, where they had set up their equipment to play.    There were about 12 of us in all to watch the show, but we were all entertained, by their 20 minute set.
  
    After this we relocated to Lance's house.   Some more old friends showed up, and before long we had a certifyable rager in full progress.  It had been entirely too long.
  
    Most everyone bailed by one o'clock however, so it ended up just being me, Lance and Bill up till 4 in the morning, still drinking and blasting music.   Lance and Bill finally passed out around 4, and I stumbled home.  

    The bigger event this week, though, concerns my family.    I went over to my parent's house Thursday night to do my studying, and I could instantly tell that something was wrong.    I swallowed the lump in my throat, and asked my mother what was up.   That's when she told me that her father in Nicaragua had a stroke.    She was very upset and beside herself with worry.    She flies down tomorrow for a month to see if she can take care of things.

    This particular incident has gotten me thinking about a lot of things.    Namely regrets.   Namely something that happened a long time ago when I was going to college.  

    I've never met this grandfather.    He, like most of my mother's family, lives in Nicaragua.    A long time ago, when I was in the seventh grade, we were supposed to go down as a family to meet him and my mother's brothers, and all 20+ of my counsins.     We ended up canceling the trip because of the communist revolution when the Sandanistas came to power.    They immediately sought Russian aid, and things got rather tense.   A few weeks after an America reporter was shot and killed, the State Department put out a travel advisory, told us we shouldn't go.     About the same time, the people that had left the country during the revolution who wanted to come back, were barred from coming back, and hence they became the Contras, engaging in a lengthy gureilla war to overthrow the Sandanistas.      To fight the Contras, the Sandanistas were drafting young boys as young as 10, by gunpoint, to go fight the rebels, so that they could hold the real troops in reserve.      Congress bars us from helping the Contras because they know the Contras are fighting and killing kids, when good old Oliver North goes behind the American public's back, and sends them guns anyway.     Needless to say, saying Oliver North around our household was akin to using bad language.     We took the whole Iran-Contra scandal very personally in our household.     The bottom line though, was that Keith and I were even in more danger than my white American father was, because they probably would have tried to draft us.  

    Things eventually settled down, and many years later, the Sandanistas finally fell from power.    I hope they burn in hell with the rest of the communists in the world.     But even before they fell, things finally quieted down, and the revolution ended, and it became safe to visit again.  

    I was talking to my mother one night, during the very last semester I was in Rochester.     Now, at college, one of the first things I had done, was something I had been wanting to do for a long time, but had never been permitted to.    This of course, was grow my hair long.    My parents weren't too happy about that.    My father never really said much, because for better or for worse, I was an adult and out on my own.   But my mother was always very vocal about how much she hated it.    She finally backed down when she realized that she wasn't going to get me to change my mind about it by complaining.    

    By the time she was planning another trip down and wanted to take me and Keith, she told me very seriously that she couldn't take me if I had long hair.    She explained very calmly, what kind of problems that would casue due to the differences in culture, and how they view men with long hair.   So at that point, she was only seriously thinking about taking Keith.     That's when I told her very seriously that if she would take me, I would cut my hair.     College hadn't been going so well, I really didn't know if I was going to be able to make it back the next fall, and I had been having some rather terrible fights with my mother about a lot of things.    So, to be perfectly blunt, she said okay, but really didn't believe me.

    So I get home from school the day before my brother graduated from high school.    And true to my word, I went to the barber shop the first day and got a crew cut.     She never said a word about it, and two weeeks later, she life for Nicaragua with only Keith.     It was a real kick in the balls.  But I never said a thing about being snubbed to her, and just hoped that someday later, she would decide to take me again.

    There are some things I have gotten rather accustomed to in my life.    I've gotten used to suffering for my own stupidity, stubborness, and attitude. These things almost constantly keep me in some kind of trouble.   I'm so used to being in that kind of trouble that it hardly even phases me anymore.  I just look at myself in the mirror and say, "Boy, you really fucked this one up Eric.  Again.",  and then move on.  

    What makes this, and a few other noteworthy incidents in my life hurt so much though is that this wasn't a case of business as usual.    This was as instance where I kept a promise and came through, and was still hurt.    This was a time where I gave in, and was understanding, and accomodating, and did what was expect of me, and was still shit on for it.     It wasn't the only time I was shit on for coming through, and it probably won't be the last.    But it makes me wonder.    I seem to get hurt and shit on in life regardless of what I do.    But it always hurts the worst when I don't feel like I've brought it on myself.   It always hurts the worst when you come through and get shit on regardless.    This isn't a trend that makes me feel very good about the world or humanity in general.    

    I had a epiphany of sorts a few years ago, and I figured out why so many people in the world as so terrible to each other.    It's much simpler that way.    We don't live in a world that rewards kindness or thinking about other people.     I have to look no further than my own life to see that the times I get hurt the worst is when I try to put someone else's wants and needs ahead of my own.      We live in a world of self-centered predators, and when these people find someone nice, and understanding and accomodating, they take them for all they are worth and then toss them aside.    Things are simplier when you just look after yourself.    I can't think of how many times I've been in difficult and awkward situations just by trying to be nice and understanding and accomodating to all people involved.     Twice I've had to be specifically fought over in restraining orders when I was friends with a fighting husband or wife, or boyfriend and girlfriend.    And this is just the tip of iceberg.

    But now my grandfather is dying.   I've never met him, and because of this stupid fight, I probably never will.   And it makes me sad.   Although we've never met, I still feel a special bond with him.     I was his first grandchild.    When I was born, he was so happy and proud that he gave me a horse.   He set it aside on his farm, and said, "That's Eric's horse".    I never got to ride it or see it, because when the war started, the Contras stole it.    But I had a horse.   My mother always told him about my every accomplishment.    When the first Gulf War started, he and my uncles urgently called to make sure I was okay, because they didn't know whether or not I had been sent to fight.    My mother had to explain to them that people don't get drafted here like they did in Nicaragua.    

    He is very smart, and his mind is a vertiable treasure trove of history and knowledge about Nicaragua and Latin America.    He spent his whole life poor, but proud.    He is self educated.    I had hoped someday, when I finally did meet him, to get him to write down all of his stories and history, so that I could put it into a book about Nicaragua I wanted to write.    If he never gets better, all this will be lost, like tears in the rain, to quote Blade Runner.  

    Even after he is gone, this still begs the bigger question.    Do I go on like I always have, or do I just give no one a chance to shit on me again.   I like who I am.   I like how smart I am.   I like how understanding I am.   I like how well I listen.    I like how warm and caring I can be.  I like how patient I can be.   I like how my sense of compassion gets the best of me when push comes to shove.    And I like how proud I feel on the rare occassion when I get my shit together and come through for someone.     I like how there is more to my life than just me.  I just don't feel I have anything to show for it.    Being this way has only brought hell and pain.   With each kick in the balls, and scar on my soul, it becomes harder and harder to still be this person that I want to be.  

    People change.   I will change.   I just hope that when the next set of changes come around, I change for the better.    Because I really don't know if I could ever live with myself if I turned into a soulless, self-centered predator.


Posted Sunday night,
August 3rd, 2003



Blargh!!

    After careful analysis of the last practice test I have to memorize before tackling the last test I need for my MCSE, I have come to the following conclusions:

     1) It's going to fucking suck.
     2) It's going to fucking suck.
     3) It's going to fucking suck.

and last, but not least,

     4) It's going to fucking suck.

    Not much else exciting going on at the moment, except that I finally got my bathroom sink in the hallway unplugged.    What a gripping life I lead.  

     How do you make a skeleton?  Put a leper in a wind tunnel.   There.  Now I feel better.   Oh wait.  Have to tell one more.   How do you make sausage?  Put a sock at the other end.   There.   My life is complete.:)    

      Finally beat my Delta Force: Task Force Dagger game.   Was very fun and very worthy, although I was a bit dissappointed by how easy the last mission in Tora Bora was.    The convoy mission made up for it though.   Tried it over and over again last night while I was cooking.    I beat the mission and didn't burn dinner either.    I'm getting talented in my old age.

       Have to talk to my friend Ian tomorrow.   We are still trying to hammer out travel arrangements to go to Denver to see the Iron Maiden, Dio, Motorhead show.    That's going to be so much fun.

        Oh, I almost forgot something about my test.   It's going to fucking suck.    And yes, if you haven't guessed by now, for those of you who asked, I did pass test number six on Monday.   Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.


Playing on Winamp Right Now:  Apoptygma Berzerk - Mourn,  Overkill - Hello From the Gutter, Overkill - Fuck You, Sodom - Ausgebombt, Silencer - This Mythic Image

Quote of the Day: "Love is an evil trick God uses to get us to reproduce" - Peck


Posted early Wednesday evening,
July 30, 2003



I'm Back


Yes, it's the moment you've all been dreading. Eric is back to give his off color, unpolitically correct, filthy mouthed opinions again, and post them online. At this point, it's mostly for me. It's been a very bad year, and once again, I feel the need to vent to no one in particular.

First and foremost, I would like to thank a number of people. Although it's not really a secret as to why I left, I'm not going to go into it here. I would however, like to thank everyone who was there for me. You really find out who your friends really are when you are hurting and bottomed out. You really find out who really cares about you. I had every intention of vanishing, but there were a lot of people who simply refused to let me go. There were a lot of people who bent over backwards to pull me through this. There were a lot of people who insisted and demanded on checking in with me, and making me check in with them. There were a lot of people who forced me to get things out, even if they just sat and patiently listened to me rant, and spew forth venom and hate till I got it out of my system. I owe these people more than I could ever hope to repay. For those people who wished me well in silence, God told me who you are. I owe you all too. I won't make a huge boring list, but I would like to extend special thanks to Cathy, Candi, Mary, Dana, Moonspinner and Jenni F. I would also like to thank everyone who bugged me about blogging again and making more psycho surverys. I dedicate this return to you.

Wow. Okay. That was emotional and sappy. Need to shift gears. What's worse than finding ten dead babies in a trash can? Finding one dead baby in ten trash cans. There. I feel better already.

There's not a whole lot of exciting things going on in my life right now to report. I roll out of bed when I feel like it at some point in the AM. I go to work and code for most of the afternoon. Sometimes we are busy and have a lot to do, and I have weeks worth of coding projects lined up to keep me busy all day, everyday. Sometimes it's slow and we are looking for things to do. We are just now moving into a slow phase. Web site sales are still slow, but we are getting more hits and exposure. The ISP end of the business is doing great, and soon we will pick up a contract to serve the entire Socorro school system. At that point, I also may become a Windows technical consultant for the ISP in addition to my duties with our gaming web site. After work, I come home long enough to check my email and/or take a short nap. Then I roam to my parent's house. We eat dinner and watch the two episodes of Friends reruns they have on syndication on Fox. Then I jump on my parent's computer to take a practice test for an MCSE exam. After that I come home, and my time is my own. I've done a little bit of writing this summer, but have also been working on my shooters. I am now in the middle of my Delta Force: Task Force Dagger game.:) Each night, I make time for a long walk. Part of it is usually through the desert, and for the second part, I often go by the old Catholic church where I went to Catholic school, and sit down near a statue of the Virgin Mary that I used to sit by in junior high and we talk.

Then about every week or two, I take a day off and go to the Prometric Testing Center at the UNM Continuing Education Building and take a test. Although the practice tests are long an comprehensive, even the worst of the MCSE tests so far only took me an hour to do. The design tests have only taken me 40 minutes, even though you are allotted 4 hours. I take test number six tomorrow, and after that, I am going to give myself at least three weeks to prepare for the last one. It's far and away the worst. Networking. Bleah. Oh well.

After I have my rating, I'm not sure where I will end up and what I will end up doing. I'm back to a "I need a real job, but am otherwise directionless in life" mode. I've been poking around for entry level stuff in IT, both in jobs I was looking at before, and some new stuff. The good thing about being in this mode, is that I'm not in a hurry anymore, and if I start consulting for our ISP, it will be decent money until something better comes along.

I took my best shot at earning a Social Darwin award over the fourth of July weekend. It started when I received a formal invitation to chat. On my way home from my parent's, I was bored, and they had bottles of Bacardi Select on sale for 8.99. I picked up a fifth for old times sake. Back in the day, I drank more bottles of that stuff than I can count. Back then it was Bacardi Black. So I'm happily chatting, and by the time everyone signs off for the night I realize I have killed the whole bottle. I decide to take a walk, and that's when I blacked out completely. The next thing I know, I wake up naked on my bathroom floor at some point the next morning after having passed out. When I tried to remember what happened, I had very dim memories of partying with some gang bangers somewhere in town. I have no idea who they were, how I got there, where I was, or what happened. I am just assuming at this point that since I wasn't beaten, robbed or killed that I didn't piss anyone off. I also have dim memories of being offered drugs, and saying sure, but I don't know if I was given anything or not. At this point the evidence seems to say I didn't have anything except for rum. My tolerance isn't what it used to be. I guess I'll have to go back into training.:)

The average temperature this summer in Socorro has been about 105. I'm tanning beautifully, but I'm glad the landlord fixed the pump on the air conditioner. Having been a creature of the night for so long, I was reaching the point where I could almost pass for a white boy.:)

At any rate, that's all I have for tonight. I'll be back soon with more raving insanity and psycho surveys. It's good to be back.


Playing on Winamp Right Now:  Apoptygma Berzerk - Kathy's Song (Green Court Remix), Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence (Sasha/Digweed mix), Godflesh - Love is Dog From Hell, Silencer - Apollocide, Silencer - Godcell Genesis.

Quote of the Day:  "No one told me that the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train."


Posted at some point this night
July 27, 2003