very beginning, but I was being very careful, because I had gone into this relationship right on the heals of a bad breakup, and was weary of the whole rebound thing.   At any rate, I was talking on the phone with her one day, and told her, "I would marry any girl who bought me an H&K 91."  She very promptly asked, "How much are they and where do I find one?"  I answered without thinking, and then realized she was very seriously doing mental calculations in her head.   Thankfully, she wasn't working full time, and it was a little out of her price range.   Otherwise, I may have been in serious trouble. . . .

Scary thing is, I'm still not sure I would be able to resist if I was presented with one on condition of trading it for a ring. *g*   Oh well.  This just means I need to get one before one is obtained for me. *g*

Posted early Wednesday Morning,
March 10, 2004




Am Feeling Nostalgic . . . .

.. . . . .for some 80s New York Thrash.   So I have been downloading songs from a band I had forgotten how much I liked: Nuclear Assault.  Although they are described as one of the most socially conscious thrash bands around, they often present their messages in some of the most tastless and offensive way possible.   So it's not surprising to many to find out that Nuclear Assault founder Dan Liliker was a part of the Stormtroopers of Death as a side project.:)    Dan went on to form a new band called Brutal Truth, but it was much to my delight that I found out Nuclear Assault is back togehter, have a new live album out and are on a series of reunion tours.   So in honor of the band that brought you such classics as Hang the Pope, Lesbians, Brain Death, and Stranded in Hell, I am going to post this image I found.


Nuclear Assault


Posted late Sunday night/early Monday morning
March 8, 2004



Heresy, Blasphemy and other Saturday night fun

We live in religiously tumultuous times.   We now struggle in Iraq to try and install a government that won't become another weapon for Islamic fundamentalism and a base for terrorists.    We clash here at home over issues like gay marriage.    People are going in droves to see the gospel according to Mel Gibson.    Millions read the Left Behind novels, convinced it is a blueprint for the end of the world.  We live in a country were millions of lazy good for nothings who won't exercise respond to one  extreme with another  and have declared war on all forms of  carbohydrates. 

In light of all these wars of faith, I have decided to rebel against it all and bow to a new god: THE BREAD.     On this warm, enchanting New Mexico night under the light of the full moon, I hearby declare allegiance to THE BREAD and found a cult to worship the divine supremacy of the bread.   The anti-christ for this cult is Atkins.    For Atkins does not respect the supremacy of THE BREAD.   All members of my new cult will recognize that in THE BREAD they will find paradise, bliss and happiness unlike they have ever known.   In THE BREAD they will find truth and wisdom.    In THE BREAD they will find enlightenment.    If you seek to escape the evils of the world and it's petty religious conflicts, follow me in the shining path to THE BREAD.  

(Don't mind me, my mother baked for me tonight)


Posted early Saturday night
March 6, 2004



Random Life Updates

1)  Our friend Ryan McFadden is visiting from the PRK (People's Republic of Kalifornia).   So like we always do when he visits, we are having a Dungeons & Dragons game.   We will be playing tomorrow night.  I am very psyched.

2)  Last Saturday, in a last minute campaign rally before local city council and judge elections, one of the candidates for judge threw a free barbecue and campaign rally at which he got Microcosm to play.    He was this old hispanic geezer that decided to open for the band with Elvis and Frank Sinatra Karaoke.    The food was great though, and Microcosm put on a good show.    Still cracks me up that they got the premier local hardcore punk band to play at a campaign rally.   Only in Socorro.:)

3)  After months of watching the DVDs, pay-per-view showings and designing the card game, I finally made it to a King of the Cage match at the Sky City Casino near Grants.    I got a very last minute invitation from our system administrator, and he drove me up.   It was a lot of fun, and I got to see a lot of the people I had been reading about and seeing on TV.   (Including two of the Ring Girls. *g*).  Our favorite figher, Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez won another fight with very little effort.    He has a couple more fights before the title fight in August against John "The Natural" Alessio.   Can't wait.  That one is going to be awesome.    Being near Gallup NM, the show was crawling with death metalheads that I guess like to watch mixed martials arts fights too.:)   Afterwards, a bunch of us met in Albuquerque at Steak & Ale for a late dinner.    Once again, our system administrator Alan covered me.    It was very good grub.  They made a killer burger.   A bunch of the people that met us started asking me about my Dungeons & Dragons game.   Through my friend Zac and a couple others, my game has become legendary amongst them, so I was prevailed up to tell game stories.    It was a great deal of fun.

4)  Been watching the news very, very closely.   After a 90-8 Senate vote yesterday, and promise by House Majority Leader Tom DeLay that the house wouldn't even vote on such a measure, it appears that the assault weapon ban is dead for now.    All seem to agree that there probably won't be another chance at passing an extension this year.    So come September 13th, the very last of the Clinton anti-gun measures will be gone, and with any luck, it will stay gone.    The only disappointment was that the gun maker lawsuit immunity bill went down with it, but that will probably come back sometime next year.   I look forward to picking up another evil, baby-killing semi-automatic with evil features. *g*.

5)  My friend Erika informed me that she finally got my resume submitted to The Gap at corporate HQ, and they sent me an email verifying that they had gotten it.   I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying my prayers.   It would be such a great job, and make all the effort I put into my MCSE rating worth it.

6)  Been writing like a fiend.  In the time I spent waiting for my anniversary posting date, I finished another 70 page mystery I will probably post next week.    My only regret is that my book hasn't been speaking to me, but all in good time.    So long as I stay in a writing mood, all manner of projects will get done in the long run.

That's all for now.   Have to create a dungeon to haunt my players nightmares tomorrow.:)   I'll leave you with a couple Silencer pictures from the Winter Deep Freeze III concert they played last January.

Image

Image 2


Posted Wednesday Evening,
March 3, 2004



Snow in the Desert

Got two inches of snow today, and it's still coming down.   Funny how just two days ago it was 53 degrees and I thought spring was finally coming.   Oh well. 

Except for a little ear congestion, my cold seems to be completely gone.   About damned time.   Glad I have my health back now that we are in the midst of a snowstorm.  

Haven't been up to a whole lot.   Work is still busy, although, with my boss's blessing, I had a few lazy days.   Now it's time to leap back into another monotonous coding project.     Oh well.   Despite some floppy disk issues, I finally got my new story up.   Originally I was going to save it for anniversary, but I decided to go ahead and post it now.   I've been fighting with it for the better part of a year, and now that it's done, I didn't want to wait.    Inspiration hasn't been lacking lately, and I've already started the replacement story.    Now that this story is done however, I'm at a point where if I get writer's block for the rest of my life, there will be no gapping holes in my universe.    I've left nothing hanging, and if I never write another fan fiction, I won't lose any sleep over it.   Not that I think that is going to happen, but if it does, and I won't feel bad.    The only other story idea I've been carrying around for a long time is the one that describes Bobby's training and life as a Navy SEAL.    That will be a major undertaking for what I have in mind, but I'm not putting any pressure on myself to tackle that project any time soon.   I have my book to think about, and now that inspiration has been striking for that, I have devoted most of my mental energy to it.     I did promise Candi that I would do the SEAL story at some point though, and have every intention of keeping that promise.   Maybe by the end of the year.

It was with no small amount of amusement that I noticed there is going to be a Friday the 13th the day before Valentine's Day.   Too bad it's impossible for both to happen on the same day.    But I suppose that didn't phase the gangsters who performed the St. Valentine's Day massacre.   Maybe someone will indulge me and perform a mass murder again this year.:)   Being single, I absolutely loathe Valentine's Day.     When I'm not single, I really loathe it.

My hate goes way back.   Back as an extremely irritable seventh grader in 1983, I declared the whole week as National Violence Week.    So I instead celebrate this week by watching the most horrifically violent movies I can.     Think that will be in order again Saturday.     Been a whole two months since I've watched Black Hawk Down.

Finally filled a gapping hole in my movie collection.   Found a used copy of Strange Brew at the pawn shop and grabbed it.   Watched it on Tuesday night.   I had forgotten how much I loved that movie.   Old school comedy.   I nearly busted a gut watching it again.  Bob and Doug MacKenzie rule.

Well, I'm in the mood to write now, so I'm going to go stare at a file list and see what I feel like working on.  Ciao.


Posted Friday
February 13th, 2004





A visit to a comet

My father got me something enormously cool.    A trip to the Tempel 1 comet.

For the past year or so, my brother, who works at Ball Aerospace has been a floor engineer on the Deep Impact space probe.   It will be launched sometime next year.     It is going to collide with the Tempel 1 comet and send back the first direct readings of comet composition.    Through some means that my brother turned my father onto, he got my name on a list.     Each name on this list will be put on a CD, and the CD will be on the probe when it is launched and actually go to the comet.     The certificate was waiting on the dinning room table last night when I went over for dinner.    I'm going to frame it and hang it up.

When most people tell me to go somewhere, they usually tell me to go to hell.:)   But a trip to a comet will be much more fun.:)

Posted early Friday morning,
January 23, 2004




And a further descent into the Twilight Zone

Fox altered the evening line up for when we are watching TV.    Instead of two back to back Friends episodes, they moved the Simpsons up and only show one.    My parents don't really like the Simpsons, so now, at my suggestion, we watch Jeopardy.   I've always liked that show.   My father seems to be really enjoying it now.    We compete to see how many questions we know.    So far the only category where I seem to get stumped and he completely dominates is when a baseball category comes up.    Of course when popular culture categories come up, about things like recent movies, and such, I do much better than he does.  

Movies was on just the other day, and the subject of Kubrick came up.    He announced that the one Kubrick movie he hadn't seen that he really wanted to see was A Clockwork Orange.   Anyone who knows my father at all can only imagine how long it took me to pick my jaw up off the floor.   I calmly told him, "Well, I do have a copy of that one, but you are aware that it is a really dark and evil movie?"  He calmly said, "I know."   So I told him, "We'll I'll bring it over sometime," at which point my mother shuddered and said, "I don't want to see it."

I'm still reeling from this revelation when he mentions that he is going to borrow a complete set of DVDs from a friend about "some sci-fi series that was on four years before it went to cable".     I wracked my brain.   The only one I could think of like that was Babylon 5, but that had never been his cup of tea.    He was always into much more serious sci-fi, like Clarke or Asimov, and had often critisized me as a kid of being into the more mainstream "someone out to get someone" sci-fi.     About as close as he had come to mainstream was Star Trek.    I was finally stumped the other night and asked him, "Babylon 5?"   Turns out it was.   I guess he had actually watched it some, and was familiar with it.    My head still hasn't stopped spinning that he got into something like that.    I may have to catch up on Babylon 5 myself, just so that we can talk about it.

But this there is yet more that has happened to make me believe that the planets are out of alignment.   Over the last four days I seem to have gotten into the nasty habit of sleeping at night and being awake in the day.     I really have no idea how in the hell that happened, but these days I wake up around five or six in the mornning on my own violition, and then fall asleep around 9 PM.    These last few days, it's taken stimulants to break this unsavory habit.    But I decided I wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.    This will be my big chance to get some hours in and pay bills.

In other news, I finally decided to take the final step in getting my life together.    It's actually not the final final step.    There are actually two left, but they are so interwound that when I take one, I can take the other.     After a few months in which I screwed around and allowed myself to slack off and have some fun after taking all the tests, I finally got my resume together and posted it on Monster.com.   I also sent it to my friend Erika, so that she can submit it at the corporate HQ for the Gap in Albuquerque.      So now it has begun.   My parents are very, very happy, and I've spent this entire weekend feeling weird that I have no nagging feelings of procrastination.   Felt like a whole load has been taken off my shoulders.     Worked on my book, worked on my anniversary story, and finally finished Medal of Honor: Allied Assault.      Felt like I accomplished things all the way around.    So the hunt is on.    The final final step of course will be when I actually get this new job and start the process of getting out of debt.    But like I said, that's a step I can take right away.    And I will be ready to.    It's been a long rough trip, and it's not over yet, but I am plodded along, doing things I when I was ready to, and whereas sometimes I stalled, I never backslid.    Things have moved forward, and I can't wait for it to be all done.

Things really seem to be moving now at work with our King of the Cage collectible card game.    We may have it ready to send off for publication in the very near future.     Although I am very dubious as to whether or not Jim will keep his promise, I can't help but feel a little excited, and eagerly await to see if he really will buy me a new computer like he promised.    If I play my cards right (full pun intended), I may end up with an ultra-high performance, bleeding edge machine that will keep me up to spec and able to handle the latest games for another four years, like this one did.    Won't hold my breath, but it would be nice.

So now I face a week with no bigger responsibility that getting in some hours, and getting my laundry done.   Hope to get some more reading and writing done.    I am so not used to stress levels this low, but I do enjoy them a great deal when they occur.

Ciao.


Posted Monday Morning,
January 19, 2004



Random Observations about life

1.  I had no idea how loud a purring cat is when it's curled up asleep next to your head when you are trying to sleep.

2.  Had an interesting dream where I was happily playing with very young children and nothing bad or weird was happening.   I must be losing my mind. . . . .


On another note, had an interesting moment with my father the other day.    The Spargo family has always had traditional family dinners.   It seems to be a dying trend these days, but we always did.    I was responsible for setting the table, and shortly after my father got home at 5:30 we all sat down for dinner.    We would often watch the news, and then some syndicated TV comedy that was on in the half hour before prime time began.     We watched most of Three's Company and Who's the Boss that way.     Now it's Friends on Fox.    Now that I eat every night with my parents, it's almost like the good old days again.   Over Christmas when my brother was back, we had a very amusing conversation remembering back to the old dinners as we tried to remember who used to sit where.    I remembered everything of course, because I never seem to forget little details about unimportant things like that.

As cliche as this is, family conversations over dinner often started with us asking my father how his day at work went.    This is where the cliche ended.:)   I guess the cliche would be for the father to dicuss his 'day at the office'.     And whereas my father did work in an office, it wasn't a typical one.   It was at the world's most advanced and powerful radio telescope.    I've often joked to people that I had it good.   Some kids hear about work at some boring business type job.    Some kids hear about things in their father does in other kinds of jobs.    The kids of the President I suppose would get to ask about and hear about world affairs.     With my father, when we asked him what was up, we got the scoop on what was up with the universe.  *g*

As a younger child, I often asked him stupid questions that ended up spawning long conversations that sometimes lasted well past dinner.  I remember asking him what a Quasar was.     The first time I asked him, they still weren't quite sure, and he told me as such.  When I asked him about ten years later, he was finally able to tell me.    He told they were forming proto-galaxies.     He enjoyed dropping bombs on us.   Sometimes he would very casually bring up a new discovery like it was no big deal to just see our jaws drop.   I remember very clearly the night he calmly told us, "Ed Fomalant and his coleagues got readings for something they think may be a barrier at the edge of the universe."    What was even cooler about the bombs he dropped, is that I knew all these people making these discoveries.   Another bomb he dropped, was at a dinner party.     We were always having dinner parties for famous astronomers and observatory directors from around the world.      He casually brought up the great attractor theory in which study of doppler shift and gravity patterns seemed to indicate that all matter in the universe was moving towards a certain point.     I also remember getting a lengthy explanation when they finally figured out the exact process of fusion in the sun to account for all the energy in the process and how the spin and flipping of the helium atoms accounted for the lost energy in the equations.  

When I was old enough to study science, and my father would check my homework, he was often able to discuss what was in my book in terms of what research was currently going on at the VLA, including when they discovered something that disproved an established axiom in my book.      This all came to a pinnacle when I was in high school and Haley's Comet came.      At a very young age, I once asked my father "what's a comet made out of?"   He very bluntly, but excitedly told me, "that's one of the things we are trying to find out."    And it wasn't just talk.     When Haley's came, scientists came from all around to get observation time, including long time friend of the family from the University of Chicago, Pat Palmer.     We did a special unit on comets in my 9th grade physical science class and my father saw to it that my teacher got some very current information based on the latest observations to teach to us.    When my teacher gave us a chemical breakdown of the comet ice, it was based directly off the spectrography they had done at VLA.    Was a welcome change of pace from a ten year old textbook. 

With space and space exploration and discovery back in the news, we both sat dumbfounded with awe when the news posted the very first pictures of the actual core of a comet that was taken during the flyby.    This time it was both our turns to be awed at the discovery.   We then just smiled at each other, and I think we were both remembering days gone past when we had talked about these things.  

My brother works at Ball Aerospace, and for the last year or so has been working on the probe that is going to collide with a comet.    He promised my father that if he made it up to visit, he would get a tour of a facility and get to see the probe in person.    

Can't wait to see what happens over dinner when the Mars rover starts to roam around.


Posted early Wednesday night,
January 14, 2004


Is Winter already over?

Got up today and got all bundled up to walk to work.    Seemed unually warm.   Looked up at the bank clock and saw that it was 68 degrees.   I knew there was a reason I lived in the desert . . . .


Posted early Monday night
January 12, 2004



So I'm surfing the news today at work when I came across the following story . . . .

Netscape has a little What's New news window that pops up when you first open it.     I often spend a few minutes reading through the headlines when I get to work.    When I found this particular headline, I quite literally had to resist the urge to yell NO SHIT! at the top of my lungs.    I think there are a lot of people in this world that need this article branded on their fucking  forehead, because they just don't get it.

I'm going to quote it all here:

"The Real Secret For Romantic Intimacy

Don't nag. Don't yell. If you really want to build intimacy in a romantic relationship, one of the most thoughtful things you can do is avoid yelling and nagging. That's the word from psychology researchers at Peace College in Raleigh, North Carolina, who learned that when we nag our lovers, it actually reduces the feeling of intimacy. "You want to try to avoid those negative behaviors and not do things you can't take back," psychology professor Betty Witcher told Reuters. "If you're yelling, that's going to have more of an effect than doing something nice."

The study: Her team studied 94 dating couples, all of whom were college students who had been in their relationships for an average of two years. The couples completed questionnaires designed to assess their intimacy and conflict within the relationship.
The results: Intimacy was increased when verbal aggression--that would be yelling at a partner or insulting that person--was avoided. Interestingly, positive responses to conflict, which would include discussing a heated issue calmly, didn't increase the levels of intimacy.

Why does this happen? In long-term relationships where intimacy is already established and has reached a stable level, positive responses to conflict do not increase intimacy any more. But negative behaviors, especially nagging, could easily lower it. "If people thought that their partner nagged them, then they reported lower intimacy," Witcher told Reuters. "People really don't like their partner nagging them." Aside from damaging the health of the relationship, lovers' quarrels have also been linked to depression, eating disorders, excessive drinking, heart disease, and chronic pain, she noted. The study findings were presented at the recent meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology."

Think this pretty much speaks for itself.


Posted early Friday evening,
January 9, 2004




All is quiet, on New Year's Day. . . .

I'm really looking forward to this new year.   By my reasoning, after all the bad shit that happened last year, this year can only get better.
The holidays have come and gone.    It was great to see everyone again, from my brother and aunts and uncles to my friends that all came back to visit.    Trever got here last Tuesday, and we spent the better part of the evening drinking beer and getting caught up.    The following night, Bill and Matt and Matt's new girlfriend Rebecca showed up.    We met at the shop and decided to go out to dinner.   Of course, we end up chosing a place where we can start drinking early, so hit the local Socorro Springs Microbrewery for pizza and a couple pitchers of Pick Axe Pale Ale.   I was already feeling it by the time we left.   While Matt and Becky walked back to their hotel room to fetch their car and some booze, Bill and Trever made a beer run and went on a long and perilous quest for extra chairs.    I went around my apartment like a tornado, trying to get it clean enough for guests.   I actually surprised myself.:)

Everyone showed up with an astounding amount of alcohol.    I define astounding amount to mean when we have so much that we don't even come close to finishing it even after a night of all out partying.    I'm still working on the leftovers. *g*.    At any rate we cracked out my Nuclear War card game, put on some Pink Floyd, Silencer, U2 and VNV Nation had a great time drinking and catching up.    Rebecca won my instant and total respect when I realized she probably knew just as many tasteless jokes as I do, including many I hadn't heard.:)     We almost missed midnight, but I happened to glance at my watch with about two minutes to spare, and we put the game aside to pop the champagne cork and cue up U2's New Year's Day, like we have done every year for the last ten years or so.    Lance got through with family obligations by about 2 AM, and called and asked if he could come by.    It was a much needed shot in the arm, because we were all starting to peter out, and his infectious liveliness when he wants to party was just what the doctor ordered.   Everyone stumbled off around 4:30. 

The shop was closed the next day.   Lance learned last year the hard way what happens when he tries to open the shop for a normal work day after a night were we get that drunk.    He and Bill spent the next day fighting over the can to practice their alligator call.   I was the only one in moderately reasonable shape, but we all ended up leaving early.    This year we all just gave ourselves time to sleep it off, and Bill and Matt and Becky left.   I roamed over to the shop where my boss Jim and couple of the "Halo children" shop regulars were waiting around.    We ordered pizza and then I ran an all night Cyberpunk game.   We had a blast.  It had been too long.

Friday I did make it to work, albeit very late, but after working for three hours, we decided to get together to do something for Trever's last night in town.    We ended up at Jim's houes playing a version of Monopoly called "Ghettopoly".  Basically Monopoly meets Pulp Fiction.   Very, very funny.    With my family I can dominate, but one I was playing against other gamers, Trever came from behind and dominated us all. 

Saturday I decided to roam over to see Jeff and Jared again, since I hadn't been over there to LAN in a couple weeks.   Ending up playing some Unreal Tournament 2003.   They proceeded to offer me some of their New Years party leftovers, and I got EXTREMELY polluted.   So much so that as I was walking home midnight, I did something I haven't done in a really long time:  I puked.   

Looking back, I think the only thing that would have made the holidays better other than Trever and Matt having a bit more time to visit would have been if Jessie had been around, but she told me last Tuesday that she was going to visit family in Albuquerque.    So she wasn't around to share in our holiday debauchery.    But every cloud has a silver lining.   Now that everyone is gone and things are over, I can still look forward to her coming back, and spending some time with her.   All seems right and okay with the world when I get to cuddle with her on cold nights.   My friend Candi was actually giving me some tips on cooking and doing romantic evenings on a budget.   She may domesticate me yet.:)

Finally got a story done that I've been meaning to do for quite some time now.   One less iron in the fire.   It awaits proofreading, and then I can post it for my second Jixaversary.    Had a very serious loose end to tie up.   But now that it is tied up, it gives me some options as to what I can work on for my anniversary story in March.     I emailed Cathy tonight and told her that barring a Nuclear War or some similar catastrophe, I will be able to have a story done. 

This week has had too big adventures.   First, I tried out my mini grill that I got for Christmas.   If I had realized how easy these things are to use, and how much cleaner it is than defiling my kitchen with a skillet deployed grease cloud, I would have gotten one a long time ago.   The other big adventure was much more irritating.    I guess the Gods of the net decided I needed a night off from cyberspace, and my computer refused to completely boot up.    I couldn't even get it to boot of my system restoration or rescue disks, so I ended up having to reinstall Windows.    Now with some minor training in that department, it went very smoothly and quickly.    The only permanent casualties seem to be my old emails in Outlook and my Netscape bookmarks.    Took a lot of games and stuff I never use off.   Think God was telling me to clean off my hard drive.:)  And the silver lining to this cloud is that my machine appears to be perfectly behaved, and running smoother than it has in a while.   Still have another evening or two of installs and tweak to make to get it back up to where it is.   Got all the service packs and updates done last night after I got back online.   Tonight, I got Netscape reinstalled and cleaned up as well as my favorite FTP program.   Tomorrow will be Real One Player and Norton System Works 2001, and I should be all done.

Oh well.  I've babbled enough for now.  Ciao.


Posted early Thursday Morning,
January 8th, 2004



Once again, as seen on Julie's Blog

I originally intended to write about my New Year and Trever and Matt's visit, but decided to just do another survey instead.   I'll blog about that later.    I should be asleep, but I'm up and wrestless, so I will probably just see if I feel motivated to work on a story after I finish this.

Full Name: Eric Nathan Spargo
Date of Birth: 7/18/71
Place of Birth: Elkins, W. VA.
Current Residence: Socorro, NM
Dream Residence: Self sufficient fortress
Place you dream to visit but haven't yet: Not sure
Place you most often vacation: Albuquerque
Favorite Sound: Not sure
Favorite Smell: Any good food
Favorite Drink: Barcardi Spice and Vanilla Coke
Favorite Color: Black
Favorite type of food: Pizza
Favorite Fast Food: Wendy's, Sbarro, McDonald's
Favorite Fruit: Granny Smith Apples
Favorite Vegetable: Mushrooms
Dream Job: Well paid writer or computer game designer
Best day of your life: Not sure which I would pick
Favorite Hobby: Role-Playing Games
First 'real' girlfriend/boyfriend: Chandra Salgado
Age of first 'real' kiss: 18
Age lost virginity: 19
Have you ever had your heart broken, how many times: Five times seriously.  It always gets worse.
Define "Sexy": proportion
What's in your stereo right now: Soil Work
All-time Favorite Album: Iron Maiden - Powerslave
All-time Favorite Band: Iron Maiden
All-time Favorite Singer: Bruce Dickinson
Favorite Love Song: Toss up between VNV Nation - Standing, and Pink Floyd - One Slip
Favorite TV Show: Right now it's Friends.   Watch it every night in syndication at my parent's house.
Favorite Movie: Tough call.   Probably Pink Floyd: The Wall.   I can always empathize with the main character.
Movie Star Crush(s): Currently, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Katie Holmes and Kristanna Loken.
Favorite Actor/Actress: Right now, probably Chow Yun-Fat
Your Weakness: alcohol, ephedrine, good food.
One word that describes you: Cynical
When do you feel most "free":  When I'm off work and on top of my bills.
Favorite Quote: Currently, "Pacifism is the ultimate expression of arrogant self-indulgence if it prevents you from keeping other people from getting hurt." - Michael Stackpole

Posted early Tuesday Morning,
January 6, 2004



As seen on Julie's Blog

Name: Eric
* Birth date: July 18, 1971
* Birthplace:  Elkins, West Virginia
* Current Location: Socorro, NM
* Eye Color: Brown   
* Hair Color: Black
* Height: 6' 1"
* Righty or Lefty: Right
* Zodiac Sign: I was born under a neon sign.  It said hospital. (Cancer)

* * *

LAYER TWO:

* Your heritage: Nicaraguan, English, Scottish, German
* The shoes you wore today: My new walking shoes
* Your weakness: Alcohol, ephedrine, good food.  A few others I'm not going to mention.
* Your fears: Socialists with power
* Your perfect pizza: Three pound, one inch crust, extra cheese, extra sauce, extra pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms and black olives from Beau Jeau's
* Goal you’d like to achieve: World Domination

LAYER THREE:

* Your most overused phrase on AIM:  "Fair enough"
* Your first waking thoughts: All people must burn and die
* Your best physical feature: eyes, hair
* Your most missed memory: gaming and partying with the crew.

LAYER FOUR:

* Pepsi or Coke: Coke
* McDonald’s or Burger King: Wendy's
* Single or group dates: whatever works
* Adidas or Nike: Nike
* Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not a big tea drinker
* Chocolate or vanilla: depends
* Cappuccino or coffee:  Something I can kill with enough creamer and sugar to turn into pudding.

LAYER FIVE:

* Smoke: No
* Cuss: Constantly
* Sing: Only when sufficiently polluted
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes
* Want to go to college: Suffered through enough school
* Liked high school:  It was a waking nightmare
* Want to get married: someday
* Get motion sickness: Not usually
* Think you’re attractive:  I think I'm painfully average looking
* Think you’re a health freak:  Oh that's rich. . . .
* Get along with your parent(s): For the most part
* Like thunderstorms: Yes
* Play an instrument:  Haven't played one since I dabbled with recorder in junior high.

LAYER SIX:
In the past month…

* Drank alcohol: yes, every single day this week including now.   My first binge in a while.
* Smoked: No
* Done a drug: Just ephedrine..
* Made Out: Last Sunday night with Jesse
* Gone on a date: Last Sunday's date with Jesse
* Gone to the mall?: Nope.  Nearest mall is 77 miles away.
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: No.
* Eaten sushi: no
* Been on stage: no
* Been dumped: no
* Gone skating: no
*Made homemade cookies:  Cooking?  Me? Surely you jest. . . .
*Gone skinny dipping: no
*Dyed your hair: Nope.
*Stolen anything: Nope.
*You sound boring: Fuck you. 

LAYER SEVEN

*Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.  I usually loose.
*If so, was it mixed company: Yes.  What's the point otherwise?
*Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: More times than I can count.
*Been caught "doing something":  Yes.  
*Been called a tease: Yes.
*Gotten beaten up: Yes
*Shoplifted: Once in high school to see if I could do it.
*Changed who you were to fit in: Nope.  Just found the other psychos and deliquents who were already like me.

LAYER EIGHT:

*Age you hope to be married: If it doesn't happen in the next few years, I will never do so.
*Numbers and Names of Children: No children.
*Describe your Dream Wedding: No cameras, formal attire optional, I wear comfortable shoes, and my hair the way I want it, no video and Silencer and Serberus play the reception.
*Where you want to go to college: Don't want to go back.
*What do you want to be when you grow up: Well paid writer.
*What country would you most like to visit: Probably England

LAYER NINE:

*Number of drugs taken illegally: Four different kinds on about ten different occassions
*Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
*Number of CDs that I own: Around 300
*Number of piercing: None   
*Number of tattoos: None yet
*Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Dozens of times as I grew up, usually for school achievements.   Twice about seven years ago for scrapes with the law.
*Number of scars on my body: Probably about a dozen.
*Number of things in my past that I regret: Where would I even start?


Posted early Saturday evening over a cold brew
January 3, 2004


Predictions from a Psychic . . . err. . . . I mean Psycho.

I predict in 2004:

1.  All attempts to renew the 1994 Assault Weapon ban will fail when it expires in September.   Too many politicians remember what happened
      in the 1994 elections after they passed it the first time.    I am going to write to many politicians to remind them as well.
2.  Half-Life 2 will once again redefine what a computer game can be and what it can do, and will set the new standard by which other games
     will be measured for years to come.
3.  A bunch of idiots will be delusional enough to think Doom III is better than Half-Life 2.
4.  Israel will attempt to destroy the Iranian nuclear reactor with airstrikes.
5.  Peter Jackson will be paid a fortune and begin pre-production on The Hobbit as soon as he finishes making King Kong.
6.  Federal Courts will finally shut down the loophole through which people are attacking video games and ignoring the First Amendment to
     do so.
7.  Duke Nukem Forever will finally be released.   It will tank and be a huge letdown for fans.
8.  Silencer will go into the studio to record the best speed metal album since Testament's debut in 1987 with The Legacy.   Whether this gets
     them anywhere in an industry that thinks Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit are heavy and cutting edge, is anyone's guess.
9.  The attacks on U.S. soldiers in Iraq will peter out and run out steam by the end of next summer.    They will still be happening for quite
     some time, but not nearly in the same numbers as they are now.
10. The opium bumper crop in Afghanistan that appeared right after the Taliban was ousted will hit the streets as heroin and kill a few more
      celebrities.     Attempts to stem it will be a little too late since so many resources have been reallocated from the drug war to the war on
      terrorism.
11. Howard Dean is going to cinch the nomination only to keep sticking his foot in his mouth and sabotage his campaign.
12.  People will finally make up their minds as to what the 'definitive' sound is for music for this decade.   I will promptly ignore it.


Posted early Saturday morning,
Janauary 3, 2004



Chemical Warfare and other romantic gestures.

I never learn.   I really don't.   This is not the first, or even second, but third time I have nearly poisoned myself with chemicals in an effort to clean the bathroom.     I clean my bathroom so seldom, that when I do, I crack out the heavy artillery in an effort to get it spotless.    Nearly passed out from the bleach fumes and ended up having to scrub the floor wearing my gas mask.    What was the occassion you ask?   It was actually one of a number of things I cleaned up when Jesse made her intentions known to come and visit.   So I cleaned the bathroom, the sink and a few other odds and ends that desperately needed it.    Jessie knows me well enough that she was suitably amused that I cleaned.    At any rate, she showed up, we drank some rum and cokes and talked.    After all of my recent relationships, it's proving to be a real novelty to be involved with someone who is here and not on the other side of a modem.    It's been a new experience to be able to look at and hold who I am talking to.   I had almost forgotten what that was like.  

At any rate, the weather has finally gotten really cold here.   Up until now, it has by and large been a relatively warm winter, but as of this weekend it got nasty cold.    So last night, I carefully made my bed with my favorite big soft sheet and quilt, and Jessie and I kept each other warm. *g*.   Cuddling and spooning has always been my favorite way to keep warm.   Can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing on a cold night. *g*.    And to top it all off, I have a clean bathroom.   Maybe if I clean it more often, I will reduce the risk of creating poison gas clouds.   You think?  Naaaahhhh!!! *g*.

Trever gets here tomorrow.  Thought he was arriving today, but I guess had my dates mixed up.   It will begin a new round of parties and games. Can't wait.  Ciao.


Posted Monday night,
December 29, 2003


Post Hangover Report

I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller.   My neck is so stiff from headbanging I can barely move it.   I feel strung out and wrung out.   And I'm not sure whether is was the Busch beer, Triple X beer, Barcardi Select or the Jose Cuervo.  . . . .

Last night's rager was a complete blast.   I showed up kind of late because of our family gathering, but whatever they put in the cashew chicken to spice it up kept me warm for the hike across town to Lance's house.    It was the first time ever that I missed part of a Microcosm show, but I showed up in time to catch the end.     Keith didn't seem to enthusiastic about coming, because he wanted to visit with Lise and J.R. before he left.   But low and behold, he actually showed up and even drank.   A lot of people were excited to meet and visit with the front man of Silencer again.  

Just about everyone was there.   It was cool to see Bill again.   And it was very cool to see all of our old drinking buddies like Dan, Alf and Erika.    Never managed to track down Jessie, but in light of how physically affectionate and flirtatious Erika was, this is probably a good thing.:) I also have dim memories of waltzing with Jared's girlfriend in the kitchen to some punk band called Unwound.    

Even after the party was over, we decided we weren't ready to stop drinking or sleep yet, so myself, Jared, Jasmine and Eric ended up back at Jared's house playing Battlefield 1942 for about an hour, so that we could sober up a bit before we went to sleep.   I finally crawled into bed and passed out about 6:30 AM.  

All in all, it was all very worth having to sleep it off all day today.

Tomorrow Trever gets here, and there is talk of another serious rager on New Year's.    Matt will be down for that party too.   Normally after a rager of this magnitude I am content to wait a few weeks to give myself enough time to forget how bad we felt the day after, but in this case, I can't fucking wait.

Until the next hangover, Ciao.

Posted late Sunday night,
December 28, 2003



Another Christmas has come and gone. . . .


. . . and I think my family is trying to tell me something.   Among my presents were a miniature version of a George Foreman grill and a large basket of food.    I think word is getting around about my dietary habits and cooking skills (or complete and total lack thereof).  

I was a in a pretty nasty mood yesterday, but that seemed to be gone by the time I got up today.   But Christmas at the Spargo household is a two day celebration, or at least a day and a half.     I went to work yesterday, but there wasn't much to do, so I ended up leaving early, but I deliberately avoided the house until early evening.    As I showed up, much to my delight, the luminarias were already done.   For those of you unfamiliar with the custom, it's a southwest Christmas tradition.   On Christmas Eve, in addition to electric lights, people decorate their houses with brown paper bags filled with a little sand and a candle.    Certain neighborhoods and city landmarks like the Catholic church go nuts, so the tradition is to drive around at night and check out the decorations.    We all go  now in Keith's van/Silencer tour bus since it can seat us all.    Keith also goes ballistic every year trying to outdo our own houses' decorations, so I have learned to be scarce on Christmas Eve until nightfall.  They were lit already by the time I showed up for dinner.    This year, in addition to the ones lining the sidewalks and driveway, Keith decided to up the ante and do what only a few other houses do, and put a design at the foot of the driveway.     Being a family of astronomy geeks, they made a luminaria picture of the galaxy M-81 complete with label. *RME*.    They took some pictures, but they came out blurry.   I may ask for one anyway to try and post.   I think Keith was going to try and clean one up on Photoshop.  Galaxies are supposed to look like blurry clouds of gas anyway.:)

The decorations were much better this year, so we were driving around for almost two hours to check them out.    

This morning, far and away the most amusing present was one my grandmother had asked for.    She wanted a bench.   So they went out and bought her a short version of a New York park style bench, and put it in the living room with a big green bough so that she could sit on it.    She loved her bench and it is now sitting on her front porch where she wanted it.    

I chilled out most of the day and dove into one of the two Tom Clancy books that were under the tree for me.   Got sucked into Red Rabbit and got almost halfway through it before dinner.    I'll probably finish it tomorrow so that I can leap into Teeth of the Tiger and then some of the other books I got.  

Of course no Christmas would be complete without my brother "expanding my horizons".    I always look foward to the speed/death/black metal CDs that he gets for me.   He has a unique talent for sniffing out really, really, really good metal that I've never heard of but end up loving.   Today, of the ones he got, Scandanavian speed metalers Soil Work are getting heavy airplay.    They are awesome.    I always smile when my brother tells me, "don't let mom see the covers of those CDs when you open them."

To top off the day, my Uncle Barry started making really bad puns, so we started going back and forth until we had my brother and mother ROTFL, my dad joining in, and my Aunt Emily looking down with her face in her hands showing a pained and martyred expression.  

Minus a few inicidents where my brother snapped at me and tried to tell me what to do on Wednesday, it's been great to see him and hang out with him.    His second night here, I dragged him over to Jared's house to hang out, and we got him hooked on Battlefield 1942.    Monday and Tuesday night, he took his guitar over to jam with Microcosm and he helped them write a song.    They were very psyched to jam with him.   I'm kicking myself for not taking pictures.  

Tuesday night, before we went to the Microcosm jam session, we were watching the Friends were they did the fifty states in six minutes game, so I ended up challengeing my brother and father.    I got third place with 48 states, my brother got 49, and my dad got a perfect score.   Then we did a ten minute state capital contest, and I got a close second place with only 8 wrong.    Keith got 18 wrong and gave himself an F.:)  

Tomorrow they have demanded a Monopoly rematch.   We have been playing as a family when we are all together, and they always get very aggravated at how thoroughly and quickly I destroy them.   Keith told us, "I'm going to try a new strategy this time.    I'm going to not suck!".   So I'll have to show them tomorrow that I'm still the master.:)

Saturday my Aunt Lise and Uncle J.R. show up and since that is the only night the whole family will be together, we are having a big dinner again.   Except instead of standard Christmas fare, we are going to order Chinese.   I smell cashew chicken in my future.   Sunday Keith is leaving to ski with his friends Siri and James at Santa Fe and the Purgatory ski resort in Durango.   He has been pretty bored on his last few New Years, so he made other plans.    Emily and Barry leave Tuesday.    But this weeked is also when Trever and Matt show up on leave from the Navy.   Matt will be spending most of his leave down in Alamagordo with his parents, but did say he wanted to party with us on New Year's.  So when Trever gets here, we will probably start making plans, for both a party and a Cyberpunk.    He and Matt often tell me how much they miss gaming, and really want to play, and I'm psyched to game with them.  

But even before they show up, we have a very huge rager planned at Lance's house.    Microcosm is jamming and several of our old drinking buddies will be visiting from out of state.   It should be a total blow out.   Keith and I are going to go check it out after the big family dinner.   I'm also going to try to get in touch with Jesse to see if she would like to hit this party with us, as well as the New Year's party.  

As much fun as I've had, the real fun is yet to come, and I have a full week of parties and games to look forward to.    Hope everyone else is enjoying their holidays.   Ciao.


Posted Christmas Night,
December 25, 2003




Having a Nine Inch Nails Christmas


Or rather a Nine Inch Nails Christmas eve.   I really don't care for Christmas music, and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, so the Nine Inch Nails was just what the doctor ordered.     Days like this, I can really identify with Trent.   But at any rate, I decided that while I hide from my brother today so that I don't get dragooned into lumniaria detail, I would take some time to blog about something I am grateful for this holiday season, and have been grateful for over this long and hellish year: my friends.    I want to give thanks to some special people that have really pulled me through this.    Don't know what I'd do without you.   In no particular order.

1. My Boss Jim.    It's easy to talk shit about you.   I know I've done my share of venting.   But the bottom line is, you are still one of the best friends I've had this year.    Because I know that when push comes to shove, and I am in real trouble, you won't let anything bad happen to me.   In my darkest hour, no one was a stronger supporter and gave me more positive encouragement than you when it came time to take my tests.    For all the good times we've had at the job you've given me, and that I'm grateful for, here's to you buddy.

2. Trever and Matt.    It's easy to forget about people and leave them behind when you move on in life, and distance separates you.   I can't tell you how much it means to me that you refused to let go, and that you let me know that I was just as important to you now as I always was.    You've done things for me I don't know if I could ever repay.    You know if you ever need anything, you don't even have to ask.  I'll be there.

3.  Pinky.   There is absolutely, positively one person in the whole wide world that I have shared every day of my life with for the last six years, and who has always given me absolute unconditional love.    And that's my cat.   I hope I have you till your twenty.    Here's to you Pinky.

4.  Loren.   I could tell from the day I met you that you were hungry for a real friend.   I could tell that too many people wrote you off and didn't want to get mixed up with you because you were a homeless vet.    I always enjoyed talking to you.   You were smart, and insightful, and always had a good story to tell.    I already miss you, although I can fully understand why you would want to leave, after how badly people in this town treated you.    I hope wherever you go, you find luck, friendship and success.

The last on this list, gets special mention and holds a special place in my heart.

5.  Candi.   I really don't know what I would have done this year without you.    You helped me through the most difficult and painful decision of my life last March, and I really don't know if I could have gone through with it without your encouragement and support.    Thank you.   Thank you for being on my side.   Thank you for being there for me.   Thank you for helping see some things straight.   Thank you for all the late night talks and bull sessions when I was feeling down.   To this day I still have some of our conversations saved, and I still re-read them.   They still cheer me up and make me feel better about my decision when I read them.    As I thank God this holiday season for all the blessings I've had this dark year, you are going to be at the top of the list.  I owe you a debt of gratitude.

And to all the friends I didn't mention here, I still cherish your friendship, and wish you all a happy holiday.


Posted Christmas Eve,
December 24, 2003



One Slip, and down the hole we fall

It seems to take, no time at all

A Momentary Lapse of Reason. . . . .

<TMI Alert> My friend Jessie made a surprise visit last night.    She wanted to get drunk.    One minute we are talking happily and splitting a bottle of Bacardi Spice.   The next she is sheepishly asking me if I will hold her.    Next thing I know, I didn't get any sleep last night.   She just left, but I am in a very, very, very good mood.    Need a nap though.   And maybe some food.    Hope I see her again soon. *g* </TMI Alert>

Posted one lazy Saturday afternoon
December 20, 2003