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The Original Vidiot Strikes Again

Now I freely admit since the day I saw my very first Pong machine, I have been hooked on video games.   Only the strict hand of my father kept me from pissing away every dollar I had in the arcade.   Whether it was the original RCA pong machines, or arcade games, or Atari, or games on the TRS-80, I was hooked for the duration.   Later I discovered Commodore 64 games and in college, had a healthy supply of cool games on my Mac.   Rediscovered PC games when I became a card carrying member of the Doom generation.   Since getting this old beast, first person shooters have been one of my passions, and whereas I would not consider myself great, I consider myself seasoned.   Occassionally I impress myself.    Don't know many people who had the patience to play through all three single player episodes of Alien vs. Predator.  I even blew through some of the parts that were supposed to be ace breakers.   Through much trial and tribulation, I blew past the infamous fight with 20 Skaarj warriors in Unreal.    Have played through and beaten Unreal Tournament 2003.    Got through the nasty light saber fights in Jedi Knight: Mysteries of the Sith on my first try.    Have actually gotten pretty good at the 'backpedal and strafe' shooters such as Serious Sam where you are sometimes literally fighting through hundreds of monsters on the screen at once.

These days, when I replay through some of my old favorites, I blow through them without really breaking a sweat.   And sometimes, I manage to blow through a new game without too much trouble.    With the exception of a few chokepoints, I blew through Red Faction 2 without too much trouble, thoroughly enjoying the Powered Armor and Tank levels.    My latest project has been Hitman 2: Silent Assassin.

So tonight, I arrogantly decide to play an oldie but a goodie.   What ends up humbling me?  What ends up making me curse up a storm?  What ends up showing me how rusty I am?   What game ends up showing me I have no game?   Donkey Kong.:)


Posted Friday Night,
April 7, 2006




Horror Movie Cliches that Need to Die

Been watching a great deal of horror lately.  Netflix rules.   Been chewing through a giant pile of classics I have always wanted to see.   Dario Argento is a MASTER.  Also haven't missed a single episode of Supernatural.    After chewing through so much I have come to the conclusion that in addition to the standard cliches, which are well discussed in the immortal classic Scream, there are some others that just need to go away.

1) Young girl ghosts.  This is now SOOO overdone.  I roll my eyes when I see one now.   Now they are even invading computer games like F.E.A.R..    Horror movie makers need to realize that no one is ever going to outdo the little girl ghosts in the Shining.  Ever.   I love a good ghost story, but they need to mix it up a bit.

2)  Haunted Insane Asylums.   Was a neat and fun idea in Hellraiser 2.   Now it's just been beaten to death (no pun intended).   Run down prisons are old news too.   What's wrong with a good old fashioned Victorian haunted house?    Been a long time since a good one has been done.   And there are plenty of other types of places that would make for a good haunting.

3)  Excess Use of Maggots or Worms.   I realize horror movies often depend on shock and eww factor.   Well handled, gore can really add to the horror experience.    Misued, it's just pointless and add nothing.   In something such as a zombie movie, worms or maggots are perfectly in place.    When put into a movie such as a ghost story, it's pointless and painfully out of place.   A cheap attempt to make it gross that doesn't really work.

4) PG-13 horror movies.   There is no excuse for this.   On occasion, when the story doesn't require hardcore content, that's fine, but these days, filmakers too worried about making their money back at the box office deliberately water down their content in hopes to draw in more teenagers.  1- Teenagers will go see a cool R regardless.  I think the target audience may avoid it rather that flock to it if they know it's watered down.  2- They always release an unrated version done properly on DVD.   Why cheat the viewers out of this for the theater experience?   Back in the day, a good horror flick would have more nudity than a teen sex comedy, and didn't pull any punches when it came time for the dying to start.  Gone are the good old days.

5) Ill equiped protagonists.   I realize the stupid teens in trouble is a typical formula for setting up a horror flick.   But how stupid do you have to make them?   I'm tired of seeing these groups of kids go explore a 'haunted' locale without even a decent flashlight.   Kids these days can't seem to go anywhere without a cell phone, an ipod, or a game boy or PSP.   Throw in the little make up bags and tiny back packs, and some girls rattle more than a soldier in full combat gear.   Yet no one seems to have anything when they make these trips.    A couple years ago, a friend of mine and I went exploring some spooky old buildings, including an old insane asylum, and we had two large flashlights, and two .45s.    Then in these movies, when the cops show up, they are seldom better.   No radios, no mag lites, no cuffs, no tasers, no nightsticks, no flares.   Sometimes they have as little as a small revolver without any reloads.    Only Sam and Dean on Supernatural are the only ones these days that will pack heat and get the gear they need.    There need to be more like them.   And as Julie just reminded me, back in the day, the famous Frog brothers in the Lost Boys always packed what they needed.

In no particular order, some of the good and the bad I've seen recently.

The Good:
White Noise. - A great modern ghost story with a technological twist.
Suspiria. - The best horror movie I've seen in a really long time.   A must see for any fan of the genre.
One Dark Night. - Cult early 80s film.  Suprisingly good, all things considered.  Took the standard forumla and gave it a neat twist.
Undead - Low budget Australian zombie flick that delivers.  But in addition zombie action it has a surprisingly clever and well thought out plot.
The Fearless Vampire Killers - Almost a comedy in many respects, but the spooky vampire ball had me grinning ear to ear.
Bad Taste - Very campy gory gem.  Peter Jackson's first movie. 
Dog Soldiers - Best werewolf movie ever.

The Bad:
Cursed - Big let down.  I had high hopes for this Kevin Williamson script, but he really hasn't lived up to Scream.
Re-Animator - Walks the fine line between sickening gore and comedy.   Not a good tribute to the HPL story.
Hide & Seek - Too predictable.  The only thing scary about it was Dakota Fanning.
Boogeyman - A stinker that fails on every level.
When a Stranger Calls - Just plain bad, and not at all scary.
The Stuff - Can't take ice cream seriously as a monster.  Or Paul Sorvino as a Georgia militia general.

The Ugly:
Dead/Alive - I've never wanted to laugh so hard while fighting the urge to puke.
Snuff - Sickening trash with no redeeming features.  Avoid at all costs.
Maniac - I really wanted to like this, but it proved to be icky and made me feel unclean.
The Toolbox Murders - Makes you wonder if the people who say slasher movies have no redeeming value, social or otherwise are right.
Altered States - A pointless collection of surreal scenes hidden behind a lot of pretension and psuedo-scientific babble.


And if you hadn't guessed, I give the TV show Supernatural a resounding thumbs up.:)


Posted early Tuesday Morning
April 3, 2006



Cheers Hermione

Julie has been a Harry Potter fan much longer than I have.   I had always intended to read them someday, but was in no rush to.   I believed everyone in that it was a great series with engaging stories.   I'm just typically a lazy reader, and hate waiting for sequels, and so had been putting it off.    I had just stuck to my guns over a rule I made in that I would not watch the movies before I read the books.    Well, rules are made to be broken, and last fall, Julie made it clear that she wanted to see Goblet of Fire right away, so that put a deadline on me getting caught up.    I started into the first book, but it took me a while to get into it.   It was a big change of gears from a lot of the other books on my to read pile on my night table.    As the release date drew near, I broke down and watched the three existing movies, and it honestly spurred my interest in reading the books more.    We went to see Goblet, and I liked it, and proceded to work my way through the rest of the books. 

What struck me the most about the movies is how well cast they were.   Everyone seemed like a natural for the part they got.   Looking them up on Internet Movie Database, I was quick to see how many of the young actors had literally done nothing else.    Julie and I often openly speculated on how they were handling this fame, and today I found out for at least one of them.

I know Iraq is bordering on civil war between the Sunni and Shiite factions.   I know Roe vs. Wade is going to be put to the test in the near future.    I know the neo-nazi regime in Illinois is pushing for more gun control.   I know there is a very pointless battle going over who runs the ports.   After talking to a very conservative friend of mine in the Navy who recently spent time in Dubai during his cruise in the Gulf, I think the security concerns are a load of bullshit.    The United Arab Emirates are a very civilized and progressive people determined to put the bullshit behind them and become part of the world community, and if they run the ports, the big difference will be that they will probably be more efficient and managed better.   But I digress.

I know the world is in the process of taking a giant bite out of the shit sandwich (Again).    Still thought it was funny that the news story that caught my attention the most today was that Emma Watson's new hobby had been toasting to her success rather frequently as of late with a few cold ones. 

I know I really have no room to talk.   I was only a year older than she is now when I first discovered the joys of drowning my sorrows with a few high spirits.   Still couldn't help but roll my eyes a bit cynically when I saw all the pictures.    It seems very seldom that people in her position learn to control that sort of thing.    I'm not exceptionally proud of my heavy drinking days, but I can say that when being a lush became one of my favorite hobbies, I drank with a group of very good friends who looked out for me.    They made sure I never drove, sobered up in time to go home, and stayed out of trouble.    They made sure I restricted my activities to parties and appropriate gatherings.   Celebrities often don't have friends like that.    For every one that learns to control their behavior there seems to be a dozen others of the likes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Tara Reid and all the other party girls that become the darlings of paprazzi photographers out to capture scandal on film.  

I know she is one of the last people on the planet I will ever meet, to any capacity, and if I did, I'm not sure what I would say to her regarding this new hobby.   I certainly wouldn't be hypocritical enough to tell her to stay off the sauce.    But I think a, "stay out of trouble" may be in order.    Otherwise, I think all I would have to say would be, "Cheers.  Have one for me."


Posted Thursday Night,
March 2nd, 2006



Unpolitical Correctness Warning

Watching the news these days, I don't think it's wrong to say that a great deal of the pain, war and unrest in the world seems to stem from the 'Islamic Extremists', to be politically correct.   I have a few other not-so-nice names I'll refrain from repeating here.    This Danish cartoon thing just seems to be the latest round of bullshit.    In this country nothing is sacred.   We pick at everything.   Catholocism, Judism, Right wingers, left wingers, conservatives, liberals.    No one or nothing is safe.   Yet for some reason when it's the Muslims turn, they get extra bent out of shape.    They bring on terror and misery and then wonder why people talk shit?   I think it's safe to say, that in spite of their extra ciricular activities, they don't get any more or less derision than anyone else.    I've seen nothing to suggest they are getting singled out.   But here we are again.   I saw this movie the first time when it was Salman Rushdie.   Now its cartoons, but it has the same ending.

The pattern seems to be apparent.   They can't take criticism or a joke like the rest of humanity.  They riot and kill each other.   Someone offends them.  They riot and kill each other.   Seems to me we have a unique opportunity to deal a fatal blow to the terrorists and extremists.     We just keep offending them, and let them riot and kill each other.   Enough insults, and we won't have to go to war, or invade anyone.    We can win this war with nothing more than a sharp tongue.    All we have to do is keep provoking them and they'll keep rioting and killing each other.


Posted Friday afternoon,
February 17th, 2006



Cable and Other Turns for the Surreal

Guess traditional cable TV providers are fighting a serious war over customers in rural areas vs. the dishes.   They were going door to door, and while I was in the shower, they came by and talked to Julie.   They made her an offer so awesome, you can't beat it with a stick.   So we now have great cable.    It's entirely possible, now that we have VH1 Classic and the Discovery Military Channel that I will never get anything useful done again.:)

At the very least I suppose, I got my novel off to the first of three editors I am going to bounce it off before I try and get it published.   The wheels continue to turn, although they turn slowly, as long as they turn, I am content.

As the holiday's approach, I continue to get acclimated into this life of domesticity.   Today, while cleaning up leaves, we met neighbors.   Over the last few months, we've gotten and accepted numerous invitations to events populated by certifiable, card carrying adults.:)  Ordinary families with regular jobs and children.   It's been a subtle but strange change to step into this world. 

I freely admit that for most of my adult life, I've hung out with overgrown geeks, fanboys and drunks.   For quite a while, I was the oldest in my group, and looked to by many in this group as a kind of father figure.   Even when a lot of these friends went on to get married or have kids, not a lot seemed to change.   When Julie got here, and this new part of my life began, I don't remember anyone coming up to us to give us membership cards to the world of normal adults, or anyone showing us the secret handshake.    And despite the big changes and surreal transitions in my life, I certainly haven't turned my back on my old friends, and never will.   But now there is another facet to my existence.   I now find myself in situations were Julie and I are the young newcomers into someone else's world.   A world that almost seems lifted straight out of an episode of Leave it to Beaver.

I suppose all things change.   Doesn't mean it will get better.  Doesn't mean it will get worse.   It's just different, and as these differences creep into my life, I watch them with a sense of amused wonder.


Posted Sunday Night,
December 18, 2005



Good Bye Tookie.   You Won't Be Missed

I have been grinning ear to ear as I read that the governator has denied clemency to Stanley "Tookie" Williams.   Guess he agreed that writing children's books and talking at schools didn't make up for this:








If you had expressed remorse for these crimes Tookie, and helped the police bring down the Crips gang that you started who have killed countless victims over the years, I might have had an ounce of sympathy for you.   Just an ounce.    All I can say now is, where you are going, you won't need a jacket.


Posted Monday Afternoon
December 12, 2005



Reality is Stranger Than Fiction: The Right Guard Against Terrorism

I really couldn't make shit like this up if I tried.   One thing I have been looking forward to since the onset of the global war on terrorism is the stories of combat as they have trickled back from the front.    Jack Coughlin's book was a great read.    About every other month, a new story turns up in Soldier of Fortune that has me captivated from start to finish.     This was the case last night, when I went to the store and picked up the new issue.

This month's issue has an article about the ongoing development of the SOPMOD II kit for the M-16 rifles and M-4 Carbines, and the ongoing work on the Speical Purpose Rifle, a sniper variant of the M-16 developed for the war on terror.    Aside from the technical discussion, they told the side story of one of the SPR's most famous users: Sgt. Kevin Moorehead of the 5th Special Forces group.

It seems that Kevin was part of a trio of snipers that found themselves outnumbered fifty to one defending a hill in Afghanistan.    They successfully fought off their attackers, but after dark, the Taliban became more aggressive.    Kevin opened fire and started dropping them as they tried to come up the hill.    They couldn't tell where the fire was coming from, so they started raising their arms to fire their AK-47s over the boulders.    To insure a lethal hit to the torso, every time they did this, Kevin shot them in the armpit.

When reinforcements showed up the next morning to rescue the survivors, they found 51 bodies with a hole in the armpit.    Kevin has since been awarded the Silver Star.    He was later killed in fighting in Iraq.

Once again, I couldn't make shit up if I tried.

Posted Friday Morning,
December 2, 2005




A Great Book, the Earth and Other Matters

It's been over ten years since I've been sucked into my reading enough to power through six hundred pages in one sitting.    Last night was such an occassion.    Now as I've mentioned before, this has been a banner year for me for reading.    I've probably read more books in the last two months than I have in the last two years.   And that rate has been pretty steady all year long.   Been tearing through all kinds of things I've been meaning to read for a long time, and then some.   The stack of books in my to read pile on my nightstand never grows significantly, even though new books get put on it all the time.

I tear through a lot of fluff and stuff I'm not sure why I read.   I still feel a heavy compulsion to read through the Tom Clancy sub series books.   It's like a sickness.  I'm hard pressed to remember the last time I read one that I really, really enjoyed.   These day they have become little more than political soap operas where they shit on my favorite characters.   But I still feel a compulsion to read through them as fast as they come out.   Now that they have started a Splinter Cell series there are four series to keep up with. RME. 

I still enjoy a lot of things I read, and this year I have lost count of how many I have really, really enjoyed.    In recent memory, I loved the Patricia Cornwell novel All That Remains, and I loved Dick Couch's books that intricately described Navy SEAL training.   

Last night however, I powered through a book I have been eager to read ever since it first came out.   I was so blown away.  I honestly can't remember the last time a book affected me so much.    This has quickly earned a spot as one of my favorite books ever.   I haven't been this moved by a piece of writing since I first read Starship Troopers.    Last night, I read Michael Crichton's State of Fear.

Activism these days is frequently a joke.   What passes for activism these days is usually some asshole following people around and sticking a camera in their face, hoping that if they annoy them and pester them enough, they'll get them to say or do something sufficiently awkward that they can edit it, make it misleading and inaccurate, and make them look bad.    A lot of times it's also some bored blogger or person practicing what snopes.com calls, 'slacktivism', by forwarding email petitions and ranting, thinking that it will change anything.  

But every once in a great while someone comes along with something meaningful to say.   Once in a while someone comes along who has actually researched what they want to comment on extensively.   Once in a while someone decides to make a point with eloquence, intelligence, and insight in such a way that even someone who disagrees with them has to stop and think.

I've always respected Crichton and enjoyed his work.    He is intelligent, educated and objective in a way that is all too rare today, and a very talented writer and storyteller.    Love him or hate him, he has a way of making people listen to him and actually consider what he is saying.    I often feel Crichton is unfairly written off.    People who have seen movie adaptations of his work that aren't quite true to the book, or that sidestep the message or science unfairly write off his stuff as fluff, when I think in many ways, he has more right to call his work science fiction than a lot of other people that consider themselves sci-fi.     Crichton is on a short list of authors where I enjoy and look forward to reading his thoughts and message even more than I look forward to reading about the action and other mundane details of his story.  Crichton is not above tackling and exploring theories and ideas and technology that are only on paper and some of his speculative work does embrace things like time travel and genetic engineering that I am not sure I will ever see in my lifetime.   But he does so, so well that I can take it seriously, and don't have to write it off as a flight of fancy.

In State of Fear, Crichton takes on an issue near and dear to many: the environment, and the environmental movement.    Although this was a fictional story, with fictional characters, many of them are very realistic and their statements, beliefs and ideas seem like they could be taken straight from the front pages and evening news.    Now having finished this book, and how it explores these ideas and issues, I don't know if I will ever even bother to debate with an environmentalist until they have at least read this book and considered what it had to say.

I have extremely mixed feelings about the environmentalist movement.   Contrary to popular belief, not everyone who votes Republican is a corporate stooge that doesn't care about the planet.   I have to live here too, and I like to think that I have as much social consciousness as the next person.   I don't doubt that a lot of environmentalists have their heart in the right place.   What bothers me, and what has always bothered me is how the movement operates and how ridiculous some of their claims are.    The environmentalist movement is one plagued by hypocrisy, double-standards and sometimes outright lies and misinformation.    For every environmentalist I talk to that has even really thought about it, and has anything even remotely useful to say, there are another twenty who seem to act as mindless sock puppets driven by fear and hysteria: people who drive SUVs and Lincoln Town cars to nuclear protests;  people who protest air pollution yet smoke cigarrettes and marijuana; people who protest globilization while using cell phones and the internet to organize across borders; people who protest evil corporations, yet fill their lives with cars and computers and things only the corporate world can provide.    It was not surprising to see a Penn and Teller camera crew run around an giant earth day rally in DC getting people to sign a petition to ban 'dihydrogen monoxide' (water).  It was not surprising to see the interview with one of the founders of Greenpeace, who left in disgust becaues he felt his movement had strayed from a true concern for the earth, and had been hijacked with people that had a political agenda.   The ignorance the movement can embrace is astounding and greatly rivals the religious fundamentalists and radical right wing causes they fight and claim to despise for their stupidity.    It's sad for me to behold how when these people get together, you can't even seem to find two that argee with each other and how they can't even seem to find a spokesperson who can come up with an articulate and consistent explanation of what they want and what their goals are.

In most cases, I don't even really think or worry about the hippies and such that abound at these rallies.   If getting together and marching makes them happy, so be it.    They'll never accomplish anything, so I don't let what they do concern me.    What does bug me a lot is how so many students and otherwise intelligent people seem to accept groundless information on faith and get sucked into this movement without even really thinking about it.    I talk to so many of these types willing to say, "<x> has been/is a proven fact", yet not a single one of the people who makes this statement is able to back up this proof with even a single reference.      Yet they throw that kind of statement around so much, they have almost devalued the word proof.  

I'm not a naturalist or biochemist or biologist or ecologist.   I was raised around scientists and have been dealing with, exposed to, and speaking with members of the academic world ever since I was a child, but I am willing to admit that my knowledge of the earth sciences is limited.     This doesn't stop me from feeling like I want to pull my hair out when I deal with an environmentalist, simply because when I end up arguing with one over a subject like global warming or ozone depletion, I can still do something they can't.   I can back my side of the arguement up with specific references and research that I do know about.    I can still make grounded arguements for what I think about certain issues, based on more than a leap of faith.   You can't win a rational argument with someone who is unwilling to deal in facts, listen to the other side of a debate or be swayed with logical arguments.

Unlike I often do, Crichton did not back down and was not intimidated.   He read up on the subject of the environment for three years, and as he addresses the issues of things like global warming and the balance of nature in this book, he so thoroughly, completely, scientifically and logically destroys most of the standard environmentalist arguements that I feel ashamed to have ever given them any creedance at all.   He didn't make a single arguement without backing it up with extensive footnotes as to his references.    He accompanies this with some of the most powerful arguements I've ever read about the dangers of junk science and mixing science with politics.

Like any of his work, I have read and heard intelligent critiques of it.   I've even read intelligent critiques of this book.  Most of them were over minor points of some of his conclusions.   Few have disputed his overall claims and message.   Most of the attacks on this book I've seen however, are mindless ones, by people who felt threatened by what he had to say, and threatened that he would make people think and consider viewpoints other than their own.     This work is a direct attack on a movement that depends on fear and hysteria and making every opponent and anyone who questions them even intelligently, out to be a right-wing nazi and greedy capitalist.

I would love nothing more than to gather up every environmental activist in the world and make them read this.   Make them think about it.  Make them consider what he has to say, even if they don't agree.     This book is a wonderful catalyst for thought, and unfortunately thought is all too often missing from debates like this.    I would love nothing more than to gather up every inarticulate stoned hippie who can't even consistently blather about what they believe in and beat them to death with a hardback copy of this.

But my fantasies aside, I'll just tell people to read it.   Read it all.  Read his quotes.  Read the appendices with his views.  Read the essay on junk science and politics at the end.  Read the bibliogrpahy.    It gives me hope that this book has been a bestseller since its release and that a lot of people are reading it.   Even if it gets even one person to stop and think, then I think it will have accomplished something positive.   But if the glowing reviews are any indicator, I'm not the only one who liked and appreciated what he had to say.


Posted Friday Night,
November 4, 2005



It is Done

Ten years in conception, about three years in the works, and approximately 233,870 words later, it is done.    It's been almost done for a while.   For at least a month now, it's only needed a few more pages.    Until the bitter end, I refused to force it.    But the last section needed to be just right, and I patiently waited for the inspiration.    Didn't know what I wanted and needed to say in this section until I finished John B. Alexander's Future War.    Then I fought with it a bit, and decided to let it sit.    Last night it finally came out.   A bit roughly albiet, but it was done.   Got so excited that I stayed up until nearly six putting all the sections together.

Now I have a completed novel.   I'm very, very happy with how it's turned out.   It's very exciting.   I've never written better.  Going to let it sit for a few days, and then I'm going to look into getting it proofread and cleaned up so that I can start to pursue my various leads to get it published.

Posted Friday Night,
October 21, 2005


The Vibe

This has been a banner year for reading.    In the past, about every three years or so I would get into a reading vibe and tear through a lot of books on my to read list.    I always manage to get through a few books every year, but on the good years, I would tear through quite a few, and put more than a minor dent in my pile.    Typically in the slow, filler years, I would poke along an only get through a few Star Wars novels or stay caught up on the Tom Clancy sub series books.   On the good years, I would not only read those, but get through a lot of other books too.

That all changed when I got a computer.   Suddenly the ability to play games I had wanted to play for years, surf the web, and get involved in fan fiction communities took the lions share of my times, and I went a long time without a good year.    I would continue to poke at the Tom Clancy sub series books, but as far as other books I had wanted to read, the pile continued to grow and grow along with my guilt.

That seems to have all changed this year.    Granted this has been a year of all kinds of big changes in my life, but this reading change seems to have come first.   

If I had to point to any single event that started this, I guess it was getting a Barnes and Noble gift certificate for Christmas last year.   Using severe amounts of discipline not to just get the Robocop trilogy on DVD or music at the B&N store, I specifically tracked down books from authors I used to love, but had neglected.    Hence began a book binge in which I put a dent in the Michael Crichton, William Gibson, Janet Evanovich, Dale Brown and other authors I wanted to catch up on.    Much to my surprise, I did catch up, and was still hungry for more.  

Now, even before fall has set in, I am caught up on Stephanie Plum, caught up on Gibson, only one book behind on Chricton, and have even branched out and read other things.   I just finished Anthony Swofford's Jarhead.   I have finished Jack Coughlin's Shooter.   Great true stories of Marine snipers.   Julie has gotten me started on Patrica Cornwell, and I have finished the first Kay Scarpetta book Post Mortem.   Already have the second, and will probably start it soon.  

The icing on the cake has been two books that weren't part of any sort of series or even genre that I normally pay attention to.  I have started, but not quite finished a book about George Washington.   That is probably next on my list.    The other was a book I just finished today, and although it was not what I expected, I enjoyed it a great deal.   It was book by newcomer Curtis Sittenfeld called Prep: A Novel.    I'm glad I made an effort to find it and read it.

I suppose my only real goal by the end of the year is to grab and read Crichton's State of Fear.   I've really been wanting to read that one for a while.    Julie wants to see the new Harry Potter movie, which means, I will have to catch up on the movies, and due to a promise to myself, I will have finally bite the bullet and read at least the first four books.   Been meaning to for a while, but now I finally have a good excuse.   Then with any luck, I will be caught up on those.

Don't know what it is.   Maybe it's part of the vibe coming from my grandmother's old house.   She read voraciously, and maybe the reading vibe is coming in part from the house itself.    Doesn't matter to me.  I always feel good when I am disciplined enough to read, and finishing a book I've been wanting to read always brings with it a sense of accomplishment that isn't quite like anything else.

Making the mailers at Netflix really earn their pay, Julie and I have been hard at work getting me caught up on TV series and movies she wants me to watch, and with my own queue I am getting caught up on cult horror movies and stuff I wanted to see. (Suspiria was FANTASTIC)   It's great, but it doesn't quite bring the same sense of accomplishment with it as getting through good books.


Posted Thursday Night,
September 8, 2005


Calling Rod Serling

My life has taken a turn for the surreal.    Funny how quickly things can change.    I feel like I am ending the two longest months of my life.    But I suppose the most amazing thing about all the ordeals is that I not only landed on my feet, but landed in a very happy place.

I think there is still part of my head that wonders when I am going to wake up from this bizarre dream, and refusing to accept that this is real.    This is me we are talking about, and my life has been a comedy of tragedies and messes I've gotten myself into.    But here I am, still blinking in amazement, and as a chapter of my life closes and another begins, I'm still looking down at the book in wonder and awe, wondering how I got here.

Julie is here.   The five year era of IM relationships is at an end.    My day no longer has to revolve around scheduled time to chat.  I'm not spending another summer sitting around a boiling apartment, sleeping naked and sitting around in sweaty pair of shorts trying to stay cool under the vent of a swamp cooler with a broken pump.    I'm living in a place with space, and for the first time in my adult life, there is enough closet and dresser space to put all my clothes away.     We have a fully stocked and equipped kitchen.   These sorts of things may seem stupid to others, but for me, this is weird and new, and not a bad kind of weird.

Julie has completely subverted my cat.   Pinky loves her.   Pinky clings to her, like a child that decides to bond with the non authority figure parent.   I think it's very cute.    She was, for the longest time, used to being left to her own devices most of the day, and seeking out attention when she wanted it.    Now she is getting used to being in a house with two cat lovers that want to fuss over her constantly.   Makes her grumpy sometimes, but I don't think she hates all the extra attention as much as she pretends.

My life has become so domestic and normal.   But as we move forward, we are settling into it and settling into a new routine.   Julie gets up pretty early to work.   I sleep late.    She comes in around her lunch time, when I am first getting up, and she comes in with Pinky.    Pinky, after having been left alone all night, is usually in the mood for attention, and so when Julie sets her down, it's one of the few times of day she will just sit, and soak up my attention.   I cuddle with Julie for a while, after Pinky roams off, before I get up and finish the leftover coffee in the pot of our new coffee maker.    Past that, I schedule time to mow and trim the lawn, we plan when we are going to vacuum and clean the house and shop.    We plan out meals.   I actually eat breakfast these days, and sometimes even lunch.    We take turns cooking and have full sit down dinners at the table.    Then in the evenings, we take turns picking out movies for each other to watch.     We go to movies, and plan the same kind of utilitarian shopping trips to Albuquerque that my parents used to plan.  

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoudlers, as all kinds of stresses and worries that used to routinely plague me are now gone, and now that they are gone, I almost don't know how to handle it.    It's like a weird high.    It's only been about two months since everything decided to change, and already the last chapter of my life seems like it happened such a long time ago.   Now that I have a chance to look at the last portion of my life more objectively, part of me can't believe how bad I let things get.   Ironic, because I used to think I was on the upswing from my days as a drunken cashier.   But whatever.   I think the fact that it already seems like the distant past is just testimony to the fact that I want to put in behind me and move ahead on this grand adventure with Julie.

Don't know what's coming, and at this point, don't really care.   If July and then August proved anything to me, it was that when you bottom out, you really do have nowhere to go but up, and it's gone up so quickly, I almost feel giddy from the heights.


Posted Saturday Morning.
August 27, 2005


Irritation, stress and other fortunate matters.

The death of my grandmother turned out to be only the beginning of a series of unfortunate and life altering events.    Not going to sit here and detail them all and launch into a poor me post.   At this point I feel numb from all the bad things that have happened, and feel unusually distant and nonchalant about it.   The end results of all this tragedy are a number of good things, and I get through most days realizing that 1) Things change, and I probably needed this.   It sometimes gets all too easy for me to coast and go through life in neutral.   2) For every bad thing that has happened, something equally good is going to result, and when I get through this month, things are going to so much better in so many ways.

That doesn't stop me from getting pissy on a day to day basis.   Dealing with certain members of my family can be a very trying experience, and there were a couple days here when I had to force myself to count to ten and wait until I could find something to break.    Feel sometimes like God and fate is deliberately doing this to me and deliberately testing my patience.    It isn't until I get home and find a constructive way to vent that I realize why.    When I come home with a chip on my shoulder, GOD DAMN, I do some fantastic writing. . . .

Two more sections and my novel is done.

Posted late Sunday/early Monday
July 11, 2005




Pauline Spargo  6/29/1916 - 7/1/2005  Rest in Peace

I walked into my grandmothers house today around 5:30.   Had been seeing a lot of her in the last few weeks.  My parents are on vacation right now, and so like I always did when they were gone, I went to check on her.    My Aunt Emily had also been staying with her, and I had spent many a night over the last couple weeks going over to hang out with them.   We'd always either get a Scrabble game going, or play Rummy.    Today, my Aunt Emily left, and my Aunt Lise and Uncle JR were scheduled to show up tonight.   But they were coming in later, so I went to check on her.

I found her dead.

The cops and EMTs and the medical examiner were very kind, helpful and I would have totally lost it if they had not been so.    In the end there were two things that twisted in me like a knife in the gut.    One was seeing her little dog sitting next to body, very confused at why her mama was so still.   The other was finding a birthday card she had bought for me when I was looking for her papers.

In her 89 years in this world, my grandmother was a secretary, nurse, artist, farmer's wife and voracious reader.   She traveled the United States extensively after she was first married, and then later explored England and France.    She and my grandfather retired to Hawaii and lived there for over a decade before finally settling in Socorro.     She and my grandfather were married over 50 years before he died and had three children.    I was their first grandchild.

She's in a better place now, I guess she and my grandfather are finally together again.   I'll miss you both.


Posted late Friday Night/Early Saturday Morning,
July 2, 2005



Ramdom Life Updates

Yikes.  Some pretty serious dust on this.   Been busy and staying out of trouble for the most part.

1) Been working King of the Cage shows.  Have worked three in the last two months.   I'm now on a first name basis with some of the company big wigs.   It's always fun to work the shows until it comes time to take down the cage.   It's no fun loading that 7000 pound cage into a truck.

2) My novel is nearing completion.   Did a word count the other day and it came out to roughly 209,170 words.   Needs five more sections.  Will hopefully be done before the middle of next month.    I'm very excited.   It's been a very major undertaking and I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.     Will give me several months to clean it up and bounce it off people before my contact gets back from sea.   But my gut feeling is, I've never written better.

Posted Thursday Night,
June 23, 2005



Musings on Devil Music

Although I will always be, first and foremost a metalhead, I do like all kinds of music.   There are even a few country and rap songs I can stand, although they are few and far between.    Of all the different types of metal I like, my favorite will always be traditional metal of the likes of Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden.   But I since I like all kinds of things now, I go through moods.   And just recently, I've been on a rare, but intense mood for all out death metal.    And this mood has led me to listen to some stuff for the first time that I had known of for a while, but never bothered to sit down and check out.   

From the very earliest days when I first started to identify music I liked, I always had a leaning towards hard rock.   My best friend throughout my childhood, Scott, came back from summer camp one year and started playing me stuff his counselors had gotten him hooked on.    I took to it quickly, and soon we were big fans of REO Speedwagon, Styx, AC/DC and what ended up being both of our favorites, Pat Benatar.    For at least four years, I was a loyal Pat Benatar fan, and no matter where I went in life, and what I ended up listening to, those bands always had a special place in my heart.

Both Scott and I discovered metal with the hair metal explosion of '83.    We quickly upgraded to the likes of Quiet Riot and Def Leppard, and soon Ratt and Motley Crue.    Not only was it all the rage at the public middle school were Scott went, but the Catholic school where I was going.   Def Leppard became my favorite band for years.

It was about this time in my life, I was also getting very heavy religious instruction for the first time.    I had been in Sunday school since I could talk,  but as a full class in junior high, religion was hardcore.   It was at the level of memorizing scripture and getting long serious, fire and brimstone lectures on Catholic theology.    And it didn't take long for the nuns to start giving us the third degree about heavy metal.

Although at the time I was content with hair metal, both the metalheads I went to school with and my friend Scott started seeking out heavier music, and it wasn't long before I was hearing about the likes of Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, and the Scorpions.   Part of me wanted to like it.    It was so above and beyond what I was used to.   Another part of me was very, very terrified.    Coming at a time in my life where the devil and hell were part of my daily instruction, I really couldn't understand what the appeal of this very dark music was.    It seemed like a very unwholesome thing to be a fan of something that even pretended to be evil.

It all culminated my eighth grade year.  By this time I had decided it was okay to listen to Iron Maiden.   After reading interviews with the band on how their horror show image was just for show, I decided they were safe, although I still felt a bit agitated about lyrics in early songs.   Eighth grade was the first year our religion teacher was not a nun, and we weren't doing the heavy biblical study the same way we had before.   It was a much more relaxed situation with many of the same types of books and instruction as Sunday school.    But because it was a daily class, we did a little more.    Towards the middle of the year, our teacher, a bit concerned with our listening habits, decided to do a unit on music.    He was surprisingly objective about the whole thing, and the purpose of the whole unit was to discover if bands really were actually preaching devil worship or negative values.    So we got exposed to both ends of the spectrum and both sides of the arguement, and we were allowed to research our favorite bands to see what they were all about.   It was fascinated and it presented me with a opportunity to really learn if these bands were evil or not.

From the Christian standpoint we were shown many movies showing the negative images and such used by the bands.    That didn't do much more than make me roll my eyes.   Didn't think a band was Satanic because they had things like inverted pentegrams on their album covers.   What did freak the shit out of me was the whole phenomenon of backward messages.   We were played the original one on the Beatles White Album, and then talk quickly went to the antics of Led Zeppelin and the alledged message in Stairway to Heaven.    When that, and Jimmy Page's fascination with Aliester Crowley came to light, it scared me even more.   

As the unit came to a close, we came to the conclusion that most metal stars were no better or worse than other types of rock stars and celebrities, and that the ones that pretended to be dark and evil, just pretended because it was cool.   At the time I still didn't understand why that was cool, but accepted that it was okay, because they weren't actually preaching devil worship.   I relaxed a great deal and allowed myself to listen to a lot of heavier metal objectively, and in the end a lot of the things that had initially frightened me became what is still my favorite music to this day.    It still took me YEARS to mellow out about Led Zeppelin.    I still think Jimmy Page indulged in some very dubious behavior, but I didn't let that stop me from becoming a casual, but appreciative Led Zeppelin fan.  

By my sophomore year of high school, there was no such thing as music that was too dark or offensive or evil.    At that point in time, I actively sought out the heaviest and most extreme music I could find, but soon I hit another roadblock with a band that made me nervous and uptight and made me give pause, and made old fears resurface.    This band was Slayer.   It didn't take quite as long for me to get over this.   If anything, the extreme heaviness of Slayer took more getting used to than their content.    But in the end, I found that whereas there were some very anti church and anti Christian metal bands, none of them were actually preaching evil or anything bad.  If anything, they were simply pointing out the hypocrisy of the church and their detractors.    Most simply took a childish glee in being offensive for it's own sake and to piss off their detractors.   And I reached a point where I could totally live with that.

In all the years I sought out metal bands and looked for more music, there were only a few I ever came across that truly preached devil worship.    The first I discovered was King Diamond.    The singer openly admitted to being into devil worship '200%' and admitted so to Geraldo.   But with that he said, "I would never preach what I believe."   So I was able to be a King Diamond fan without any guilt.    There is actually a fairly famous and creepy ghost story involving King Diamond though.    As the story goes, Metallica was crashing at his pad in Sweden when they were recording Ride the Lighting.    Apparently he had an altar in his living room where Metallica was sleeping.  As the story goes, one night in the pitch black, Metallica heard a piercing scream, and when the lights were turned on, something had disturbed the altar. *g*.    Have no idea if this is true or not, but it was a fun story.

Later on with the rise of death metal, two bands emerged that actually decided to preach devil worship and pagan religion.   I guess there was a whole scene of scary pagan bands in Scandanavian that when they weren't out playing, where burning churches and murdering priests.  Most of these bands aren't around anymore because most of their members are in jail.    But on the international scene, the death metal bands Morbid Angel and Deicide actually came forth preaching satanism.     I didn't approve, but by the time I heard of them, I was sufficienly laid back about them to not really pay them much heed.    I was at best an infrequent death metal fan that was very picky about which of it I liked, and had no reason to look into what these two groups of bozos were doing.     Morbid Angel always made me giggle, because the guitarist took the last name of a Lovecraft god, and I could never take him seriously.

But in the thralls of my recent mood for death metal, I finally sat down and decided I was going to check out Morbid Angel and see what the fuss was all about.     My coworker loves MA and a number of other death metal bands, and we have been having fun listening to the new death metal station on Netscape Radio, so when I told him that I was curious about MA, he quickly agreed to bring in some CDs for me to check out, and we ripped them so that I could listen to them.

As far as death metal goes, it's okay.   I've heard better.  Death, Napalm Death, and Venom are much better.  But it's not bad.   I'm not going to rush out an buy any Morbid Angel soon, but at some point it will probably end up in my collection.     But now that I have finally listened to some official devil music, I can only smile at how I've changed and how the fact that I am doing so doesn't really bother me anymore.    I didn't get the sudden urge to renounce God and start praying to ancient viking gods.   I didn't get a sudden urge to read Anton LeVay or Aleister Crowley.    I didn't get a sudden urge to sacrifice animals under the full moon and murder children.    Just listened to some heavy and angry music, and as that sort thing goes, I never mind heavy and angry music when I'm in the mood for it.


Posted very early Tuesday Morning,
April 19, 2005




. . . . Well it's a Looooooooooong Waaay Back from Hellllll!!!!!!!!. . . .

Sorry. I'm still singing and amped after seeing a Danzig concert tonight. I haven't had this much fun in such a long time, I feel the need to gush.

For those you unfamiliar with Danzig, it is a metal band that started in the late 80s around frontman Glen Danzig. He was already famous for his stint as the lead singer of the famous and influential punk band the Misfits, that mixed goth and punk for a new, revolutionary, signature sound waaay back in the day when punk was punk, and bands like The Dead Kennedys and the Sex Pistols were having their day, long before the crappy 90s grunge and alternative that tried to copy it. If you haven't heard the Misfits, you have almost certainly heard the many songs Metallica covered, including Die, Die My Darling and Green Hell and Last Caress. Urban legends states that on a Metallica tour not long after they released their versions of these songs, the crowd got so worked up, that James Hetfield had to leave the stage to throw a temper tantrum, because he was so mad he hadn't written these songs himself.

Glen left and was briefly with another influential punk band called Samhain, before starting Danzig. Danzig was born in the glorious late 80s, when most metalheads were get caught up in the birth of thrash and into the bands that followed on the tails of Metallica, that were part of the bay area, and New York thrash explosion of 1987.

Rather than going the thrash route, Danzig stuck to Glen's punk roots, but added a very dark, Black Sabbath metal feel. The bussword of the day was crossover, when people were realizing the music that had the technical complexity of the better metal, but the reckless energy of punk was some of the best of the day.

I still clearly remember watching the video for "Mother", the first and only time MTV played it before it was banned for Satanic imagery. Undetterred, Danzig recorded a live video for the song which became a staple of the MTV "buzz bin" when they were seriously pushing artists like Faith No More and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I was hooked for life, and followed the band ever since. Now, tonight, seventeen years after I first dicovered them, I finally got to see them in a sold old club concert, and they haven't lost a BIT of their talent or energy.

I have often quoted lyrics from Danzig songs in my stories, as I find them very powerful and haunting. The song, "Mother", about overprotective parents seem to fit in the story I call "The Dreaded Part 9" perfectly, and I must admit, when they played it tonight, I had tears in my eyes, not only remembering the emotional ordeal of writing that story, but of the events in my life that inspired it.

The concert was fun. I needed this. I needed it badly. After all the stress in my life, this was just what I neeeded. A night of bass so loud it rattled my fillings. A night of feedback that could break glass. A night of cheesy gothic, demonic stage sets. A night of both young and middle aged metalheads from all walks of life there to honor their idol, in a run down, converted 50's style theater. A night of Glen's deep and haunting voice, not even slightly diminished by age, like a heavy metal Jim Morrison.

I know a lot of the more obscure music I like is very fringe and inaccessible and a very acquired taste. I know I'm into a lot of things people have a hard time getting used to. But Danzig is never a tough sell when I play it for non metalheads. If you are at all interested, check out any of the following songs: Mother, Twist of Cain, Long Way Back From Hell, Little Whip, Sadistikal, Godless, How the Gods Kill, Anything, Her Black Wings or Dirty Black Summer. It's some GOOD stuff.

Okay, I'll stop gushing now. I promise.

Posted early Sunday Morning,
March 13, 2005



My cat's new friend

Several days ago, as I was on my way to work, I found an adorable stuffed cat in the dumpster outside of the apartment.  It was just sitting on top of some rolled up carpets and wasn't really dirty.   There were a few other stuffed animals too.   It looked very much like an unwanted Valentine's Day present.    I absolutely couldn't resist it, so I rescued it from the dumpster and took it back to my apartment.  It became the second kitty I always wanted, but couldn't really have.  

Now I had always wanted two cats, so that I could call one Pink and the other Floyd.    Since I only ended up getting one, I named her Pink, and Pink eventually turned into Pinky.   I've shared just about every day of my life with her for the last seven years.   But as soon as I rescued the stuffed kitty, I named it Floyd, and finally had my pair of cats.

Pinky has always been a solitary animal, that preferred people company to the company of other animals.    In fact, her encounters with other animals were often downright hostile and violent.   In the two weeks I kept some friend's cats, they spent the whole time fighting over all the various food dishes and litter boxes.    So I was understandably curious how she would take to a newcomer, even if it was stuffed.    She has taken to Floyd like a new best friend.

These days, I find Pinky cuddled up with Floyd on the easy chair at night, when Pinky sleeps.   I find Floyd on the floor sometimes, like they've been playing and roughhousing.    And tonight I found Floyd on the floor carefully sitting upright, like she had been carefully put there.   Sometimes Pinky is too adorable for words.



Posted Sunday Night,
March 6, 2005



Adventures in Bachelorhood

I'm going to have to record this incident for posterity and add it to my ongoing list of all time top cooking disasters.    Last week my mother gave me a box of pancake mix.   It was the kind where you just add water and are good to go.   I was all excited to have something new and different, so on several different nights, I made myself a middle of the night pancake breakfast.     As a kid, it was the first thing I ever learned how to make, and I often did with a recipe out of one of my mother's books, in which I would make them from scratch.    When my mother showed me how to use a mix, it almost seemed like it was cheating because it was too easy. 

At any rate, these days, I am lazy enough to just use a mix, and was happily doing so.    Tonight I went to get my pot to cook up a package of hot dogs, and found it was still covered with a film of the batter.    As lazy as I am about cooking, I'm even lazier about cleaning.   I think I actually break down and wash all of my dishes about twice a year.   In my normal mode of operation, I just fish the ones I need out of the sink and wash them individually, as I did tonight.    Now, I didn't feel like scrubbing out my pot, so I thought I would use a trick I often use to wash it out.    When I want to clean my pot, I'll leave water boiling in it it soak up all the residue of whatever I had cooked before, and then just dump the water out, maybe quickly giving it an extra rinse or once over with the sponge if needed.    So I attempted this tonight.    When I dumped out the water, I found it had made a very thin pancake along the bottom of the pot.   LOL.   It took some intensive scrubbing to get that one out. . . .


Posted Wednesday Night,
February 23, 2005



A Meme (as seen on Julie's Blog)

Me, right now.

You Won't Bring Me Down

(Title courtesy of Suicidal Tendencies)

I suppose in part I should be feeling sad right now.   I suppose in part, I should be feeling wronged and outraged.    And I suppose parts of me do feel these things.    Yet for some reason I am in a very, very good mood.    I feel like I'm doing something I should have done a very long time ago.    Gone my own way and done my own thing.    And so it shall be.    For those of you who have stood by me and Julie during this ordeal, you have my thanks and heartfelt gratitude.    For the rest of you, I'm going to exercise a little decorum for once in my life and not say what's on my mind.    All I will tell you is so long and farwell.    It's been swell, but the swelling has gone down. 

Posted early Friday Night,
February 11, 2005




Who says women aren't fans of violent computer games? *g*



Posted early Thursday Morning,
February 10, 2005




Mr. S  1947-2005

During my sophmore year of high school, my very best friend at the time, Schlake, was a year ahead of me, and had the opportunity to take a class normally reserved for seniors.    This was our high school's one and only psychology class.   He talked a lot about it.   I found many of the ideas he discussed absurd and offensive, and decided that I wasn't going to take this class, because it sounded like a bull session for a bunch of quack science. 

My father had other ideas, and before long, I was signed up, and got to take it as a junior.   I already had Mr. S for the only other thing he taught, which had been driver's ed.   He was a very good driving teacher, and his classes were very fun to see how many times you 'died' when you made the wrong call on one of his chalkboard scenarios.    I had always found Mr. S very intimidating.   You could sense his intelligence and his perceptive abilities.   He was one of those people you just knew could read you like a book.

Everyone always tread very carefully around him, because his oldest daughter was considered the hottest girl in school and no one interested in her wanted to make a bad impression.    Others, like me, simply avoided getting to know him to avoid being read.

The psychology class ended up being one of the best and most useful classes I ever took, anywhere in any subject.   As much as I wanted to reject psychology, I was quickly drawn into the big bad world of the human mind, and was fascinated with what he said and taught us.   At the beginning of the year, he told us, "I have one goal for you this year.  I want you to learn to be aware."   For everyone who took it for an easy elective grade, I don't think they really did.   For others, like me, the world suddenly became a much more complicated and fascinating place. 

It was often lamented, by both Mr. S. and class alumni, that we were very, very guarded as a class.   That we simply didn't open up and talk about ourselves the way he had hoped.    We had heard stories and rumors about psychology class sessions getting so intimate and personal that people left the classroom crying.     We were intimidated and decided at the outset that we would take steps to make sure it never happened.    Mr. S was undeterred however, and went about teaching us what he could.    And in the process we discovered what a intelligent and fascinating person he was.    He had been a hippie that had been drafted, and went to Vietnam to work as a typist for the CIA.   He had studied at the University of Arizona and UNM.    He had even known my aunt and uncle at UNM, and they had been part of a hippie rock band.   My parents still have the single on an old 45.

The world is a different place for me now because of him.   What he taught me serves me each and every day of my life as I deal with people.    I feel like a better person for 'being aware'.    So I was very saddened to learn that he died at the young age of 57, and died mere days after his third wedding.    After his first two wives died untimely deaths due to traggic illness, I'm sure he just wanted to have someone.    As terrible as this must be for his new wife, I'm glad he didn't die alone.

I'll miss you Mr. S.


Posted early Thursday Morning,
February 10, 2005


World Building 101

Although I have a dozen different fan fics that need attention, and unfullfilled plans for the ETBC, what has been drawing most of my creative energy is my novel.     As you all may or may not know, I started a science fiction novel over a year and half ago, and over the last four months or so, as inspiration hit, have been putting a lot of work into it. 

Still needs a ton of work, but I am very, very, very happy with how it is turning out, and when I get it to my potential agent this fall, I have no doubt that I will have solid work to show him.   The dreaded part 9, nonwithstanding, I have never done better work.

This has been a new experience for me.    It took me a while to figure out why working on this felt so weird, but in the end the answer proved to be very, very simple.    For the first time in a long time, I am not only telling a story, but building a world.   

The best writers IMHO all seem to be good at one thing.  Especially within' the sci-fi and fantasy genres.   The best writers not only tell a good story, but build a world behind it.    Whether you are talking about Middle Earth, and the six spoken and written languages J.R.R. Tolkien created for it, or the Dune universe of Frank Herbert with it's own terms and history, you always knew from page one that there was going to be so much more from the reading experience than just the story.     You were really going to feel like you had visited someplace else.   You felt like you had watched more than a play on a stage with painted backdrops and scenery.    You felt like what you had just witnessed was only a small part of a universe. 

The dawn of the internet seems to have turned every fan and their dog into a writer.     Any popular movie or book or series instantly seems to have dozens of fans eager to add to a world that has captivated them.     A depressing number of these so called fans seem instantly ready to pander to the lowest common denomiator and write slash.    I recently finally had an opportunity to ask actual gay people what they thought of slash, and I had to grin with how they found it offensive and misrepresenting.    They hated the idea that their lifestyle was being used for shock value and to upset sensitive readers.   But I digress.

As writing and film and TV evolves, we as a culture seem to actively seek out not only good stories but ones in vivid worlds.   We want our escape to be complete.    Even if the story in question is hinging around pivotal and world shaking events, we still want to know that it isn't the only thing going on.   We still want to know that that backdrop is more than just a backdrop, and that if we read about our heroes saving the world, we want to have a taste of that world they are saving.    And the most revered story tellers in our culture aren't just masterful storytellers, they are also masterful world builders.

Yet good world building seems to be the things that separates the good from the great.   In this bottomless pit of fan fiction that the net has become, I suddenly realized how seldom it is that people take that big leap and build a world for their story to take place in.    So many simply borrow a world, and try to tell a good story in it, taking advantage of the fact that someone else did the real work of establishing characters and building a universe.  

I have certainly done this a great deal.   As a gamer, the practice of world borrowing is not only common, it's encouraged.   A published gaming world like Dungeons and Dragons' World of Greyhawk or Cyberpunk's Night City of the year 2020 are detailed worlds just waiting for a game master to pick them up and tell stories with.    It's how I learned to tell a story.   Been a gamer for 25 years now, and there has been no greater joy that taking a world like Greyhawk and making it my own. 

But at the same time, a part of me has been bursting at the seems to take the next big step.   To create my own world.    And in writing this novel, it has been a very educational and fullfilling experince to do so.    When I finally put my finger on what was weird about this project for me, it was the fact that I really was starting from scratch, and with each new chapter I complete, not only does the story advance, but another facet of the world gets detailed.     I don't know at what point I sat down and realized that I had built a world with it's own history, it's own characters, it's own deal.  But  not only had I built a world, I was acclimated to it, and thinking in terms of it when I write or develop the story.    It's been very strange to be working without a net, and without anyone else's work as a cushion.

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, recently confided in me that she was very irritated with how Trixie and other fan fic writers threw around the word muse.    She was of the opinion that no one who borrows a world and/or characters had a right to say they had a muse.    She seemed to think someone needed to exhibit true creativity before they could claim that.    Wasn't sure what to think of that one way or the other, because I am not privy to the specific meaning of muse or it's origin or true meaning.  

All I can say is that it has been a very thrilling and fullfilling experince to do this.    This is not the first time I have done so.   I have forsaken published source materials for games in the past and come up with my own worlds.    The world I use now in Dungeons & Dragons is my baby.   I sat down one night with a few sheets of graph paper and wrote out four thousand years of history over the course of a couple hours that has been the basis for a seven year campaign.      In college, I worked on an original novel which ended up being little more than a really bad Robocop 2 ripoff.      Done two screenplays in original worlds.    This is the first time however, that I have felt very, very pleased with the results.

I can only hope that by the time this beast is done, the agent who is going to read it will also feel I have told a story and built a world.


Posted Sunday Night,
Februrary 6, 2005



Not only is he a stupid fat fuck, he's a hyprocrite.

So in the short time since he demonized American gun culture and ranted about our obsession and paranoia, Michael Moore's bodyguard is arrested for trying to get a gun on a plane and take it to New York where he does not have a permit.     Give these types enough rope, and they always hang themselves.   And yes, for the record, I hate him, and think he's a casualty of the MTV generation.   He's one of these self-important demogogues that thinks if you stick a camera in someone's face and annoy them as much as possible, that it's activism.    He's no more than a slick talking Tom Green who takes things out of context, or outright lies by clever editing.   

I hope this incident gets plastered all over the papers so that people can see he doesn't practice what he preaches, and that he embraces a double standard.    Guns for personal protection are okay for him, even if his bodyguard decides the laws do not apply to him, but I guess it's not okay for the rest of us.


Posted Saturday night,
January 23, 2005



Year in Review

Everyone has been posting these annoying lists all over the common news websites about the best and worst of 2004.    Thought I could do my own.   First a few trivia tidbits.

1. From last years predictions, I correctly predicted the supremacy and high reviews of Half-Life 2.   I predicted the demise of the Assault Weapon Ban, and after the elections, it looks like it will stay gone for a while.    Predicted that court challenges to video games have maintained that they are protected by the 1st admendment.    Otherwise didn't do to good.:)  Oh well.

Without further ado:

Best Movie of the Year:

Of all the new movies I watched, I think the one I enjoyed the most was the Dawn of the Dead remake.   Ended up being the year of the zombie movie for me.  

Best Video Game of the Year:

Of the ones I actually got to play, Far Cry was far and away the best.   Battlefield: Vietnam and Unreal Tournament 2004 get an honorable mention.

Best Day of the Year:

Tie for First:   1) Sept. 13 saw the demise of the last of the Clinton gun control measures, with alarmists unable to even get a renewal up for a vote in the House.    So far there has been none of the predicted crime waves and carnages.    Still waiting for the sky to fall like the gun control Chicken Little impersonators keep predicting.    2) After a year long friendship, I asked out and became the boyfriend of Julie.    Made this year very worthwhile all by itself.   3) Election Day.   Felt SO good to get the last laugh.

Best New Music of the Year:

In terms of new music that came out this year, I have to go with Ministry's Houses of the Mole.    Another angry rocker from one of my favorite bands.      In terms of new music that I just discovered this year, it was the year of Futurepop.     Went through intense phases of listening to Suicide Commando, Icon of Coil, Apoptygma Berzerk, and Assemblage 23.   

Best New Firearms of the Year:

This year was a catalyst for small arms development.    There are some exciting new developments on the horizon with the DREAD centrifuge weapon, the microwave riot control device and a prototype laser rifle.     Lots of weapons appeared.     The Special Forces have adapted the SCAR-L/SOFCAR-L and SCAR-H/SOFCAR-H assault rifles.      Lewis Machine & Tool introduced the Mk 12 Recce Rifle to promote the new Remington 6.8mm Specail Purpose Round.    Barret Firearms followed suit with the new M468.     Lewis Machine & Tool also developed the Monolithic Rail Platform.   The first M-16 to have a quick change barrel system.    Rock River Arms won the FBI and DEA contract for AR-15s with their very excellent, dependable and torture tested LAR-15.     Barret pushed forward with the development of the 25mm Payload rifle.     Smith & Wesson introduced the most powerful handgun in the world, putting weapons in .454 Casull to shame.    So many fine weapons.  

The one that has captivated me the most, and has me the most excited is a weapon which may finally replace the M-16 in U.S. Army inventory.     The new Heckler & Koch XM-8 is proving to be a very excellent and dependable weapon, that may see service by the end of the new year with the Stryker Combat Brigades.     So I give it weapon of the year.:)



Best Book of the Year:

Of everything I read this year, I think the most entertaining book was Air Battle Force by Dale Brown.   Really need to read something besides techno-thrillers this year. . . . .

Best Sports Event of the Year:

Although my Steelers sre on the fast track to the Superbowl, the game I enjoyed the most was Game seven of the Red Sox vs. Yankees at Yankee stadium.    I had never seen so many pissed and disappointed people until election day.  *g*

Best Writing Accomplishment This Year:

I had a very, very prolific summer writing fan fiction.   Was especially pleased with my vampire story Boots in the Fog, and my stalker story Hero Worship.     What I am most proud of having accomplished this year was the work I have done on my novel.   It's shaping up into a very, very good story.     If inspiration continues, I may have a book by the end of the year.    A good one, that I could get published.

Can't wait to see what this year holds.:)

Posted early Saturday
January 8, 2005




The End of an Era

On the very last night that my entire family was together for the holidays we went out for dinner to the Socorro Springs brewpub for a special occasion that had nothing to do with the normal holidays this time of year.   My father retired.  

In 1967, straight out of the Air Force, my father found a job as an observer for the National Radio Astronomy Observatory.   He first worked in Green Bank, West Viriginia, but eventually his work with NRAO brought him to New Mexico when they first began construction of the VLA.   

Thirty seven years later, today, he worked his very last day.    In this age when people constantly change jobs, and put career ahead of family, and use work problems as an excuse to slack, he was a good example and positive role model for me.    Taught me that no matter how bad things are, and how shitty or unfair a work situation is, you should always do your best and have good work ethic.    Taught me even if things aren't so great in the beginning, if you stay at something long enough, and work hard, your work will pay off.  Taught me that work is work, and you don't have to like it, you just have to do it, because nothing in life is free, and bills don't pay themselves.  

Beacuse of wise investments with his retirement funds and pension, he will still be getting as much as he did when he worked, and suffer no hit to this lifestyle and income.

It's weird to think of him retired now.   He has been NRAO since before I was born.  I've never known him as anything but an NRAO employee.  But whatever he occupies himself with now, he's earned it.  

Go Dad!:)


Posted early Friday morning,
December 31, 2004



To Dimebag Darrel.

To the members of Pantera and fans who kept thrash metal alive in the 90s: Rest in Peace.  It ain't right.


Posted early Thursday morning,
December 9, 2004



A Post of Novels and Being a Stubborn Pain in the Ass

Although I have been bugged to do so twice now, I have flatly refused to participate in the National Novel Writing Month.    It's not that I don't like the idea.   I think it's a very good idea.     It addresses the issue of why people won't write.    The fact that they won't actually sit down and do it.    They can't or won't make themselves start.     This has never been my problem.    After having leapt into fan fiction with both feet and written 85+ stories and over 1.2 million words of it, I don't feel the issue of getting started is my problem.  

As is well known, I'm just a stubborn pain in the ass and don't like to be told how to go about doing things like this.    The idea of anyone telling me when and how and how much I had to write automatically kicked in my knee jerk reaction to rebel.     That having been said, I was kind of swept away by the excitment of the idea, and everyone leaping in with both feet to write a novel.    So I took a look at the book I started about a year ago, and got excited to work on it again.

It's been my standing rule to never force work on my book.   I write if and only if I feel particulalry inspired to sit down and write a certain scene, and I know it's going to turn out right.     If I try to force it, I will compromise the quality of what I am doing.   

Haven't really felt like working on it very much this summer, because I was hammering away on fan fiction.    Once I hit massive writer's block on fan fiction, and once everyone got excited about writing original fiction, the long dormant inspiration to work on my book returned.
 
At last count, it was about 30,000 words.   I think it's going to be at least 100,000 before it's even close to done.   But work on it continues to occupy my nights when I'm not in the middle of some game.    If inspiration continues to strike, I may actually get all the setup written before I'm old and gray.:)   So I guess I am grateful to the whole NaNo thing for something, even though I proudly didn't participate.   Got me excited and jump started.   

[horribly arrogant statement warning]

When I win the Hugo, Nebula and Philip K. Dick awards for science fiction, I'll have to remember what inspiried me. *g*

[/horribly arrogant statement warning]

Think I'll see where my writing takes me tonight.


Posted early Sunday morning,
December 5, 2004




Zombie Movie Checklist.

Night of the Living Dead - Original - Check!
Night of the Living Dead - 1990 Remake - Check!
Dawn of the Dead - Original - Check!
Dawn of the Dead - 2004 Remake - Check!
Day of the Dead - Check!
28 Days Later - Check!
Resident Evil - Check!
Return of the Living Dead - Check!
Return of the Living Dead 2 - Check!
Return of the Living Dead 3 - Check!

Still need to see:

Shaun of the Dead

Yes, as a matter of fact I have wasted entirely too large a portion of my adult life watching zombie movies.:)   Haven't even really stuck to watch my standard ghost story horror flicks, although upon rewatching Event Horizon, I had forgotten how good that movie was.    My taste for horror movies comes and goes in phases.   I watched a lot of supernatural horror flicks when I was trying to inspire myself to finish my Fright Night story.    Even managed to sit through The Shining again.    Went through my annual ritual where I get brave enough to watch a seriously fucked up horror movie, and managed to sit through The Hills Have Eyes.   I think for my next annual seriously fucked up horror attack, I need to track down Suspiria.

BTW, of the above list, 28 Days Later and the Dawn of the Dead remake are far and away the best.


Posted late Tuesday Night,
November 30, 2004




. . . . And will the world stay standing still, just for me. . . .

I sit here both sadddened and happy beyond words at the weekend that just passed.    Of life's sweet sorrows, perhaps the hardest one to deal with is saying good bye to a person you love.    Yet having to do this means there is someone in your life that you do love, and that always sweetens the pain.      It's been a long time since any kind of pain in my life wasn't punctuated with the flavor of bile that I knew I was going to taste for the rest of my life.  

No one was more surprised at the development of this relationship than I was.    This all blindsided me in a very big way.    For a number of reasons, I have not discussed my new relationship here until now, but for the record, I am seriously involved with and head-over-heels in love with Julie. 

Breaking up with Lisa left me feeling broken in a way I felt was never going to be fixed.     Even after I eventually lifted myself out of the rage and despair, my feelings on love and relationships was cynical at the very best.     Then this all sneaked up on me.

On our two month anniversary as boyfriend and girlfriend, Julie came out to visit me for the very first time.    I cleaned this rat hole from top to bottom.   Washed all my dishes, cleaned my bathroom, washed every piece of clothing I owned, vacuumed, scrubbed the cat box and cleared up a great deal of the clutter.   Didn't get to the kitchen floor, and the kitchen floor really needed it, but whatever.   Once the weekend was underway, I found myself having to continually suspend disbelief.     Kept wondering when I was going to wake up from the dream.    There was a dark, inky black corner of my soul that refused to believe that something this good was happening to me.   Once I got past that, and I realized how happy I was, everything went by far too fast.   

I took her on the 10 minute Socorro cultural tour.   Showed her all the landmarks from "Mystery of the Raving Psychopath".  We went to my boss's to watch King of the Cage on Pay-Per-View.   Had a South Park and Jackass viewing night.    Had a scary movie night with The Gift, and Event Horizon.    Basically wasted time in fairly frivolous pursuits.    Guess it was one night when we were cuddled up under a blanket watching something, when my cat came up to join us and cuddle and be happy, that I held her and realized I really was happy again in way I never thought I would ever be again.

I cried when she left today.   But I don't feel scarred or damaged from this pain.    I feel like my tears were washing away the blood and bile in my soul.   I feel cleansed and calm.    I feel like I've won a battle against the hate and rage I often burn as fuel to get through the rough parts of my life.   There were times when I felt like that was all I had.    Now there is something else, and it's a very wonderful something else.   And I'm going to cherish this something else for all it's worth.


Posted late Monday night,
November 22, 2004



My Thoughts on the Election

Today I had several very civil conversations with people about politics and the election.    All involved were quiet and respectful, regardless of our viewpoints.  My conversations were even civil with the people I normally get into it with.   I was happy beyond words that the results did not damage any of my friendships with people who disagreed with me, and we all walked away still respecting each other and our differences in opinion.

In continuing this tradition, I am not going to post my thoughts on the matter openly here.    I will simply link to them.   If you will be offended by the rant of a pro-NRA, pro-Bush person, I will understand perfectly if you choose not to read it.    If you do want to read it, the rant is here.

Posted late Wednesday night,
November 3, 2004



Master of Five Magics.  A Halloween Psycho Survey

Another Halloween has come and gone.    But I can't let it go quietly without another PSYCHO SURVEY.

1. Name the Five Scariest Movies You've Ever Seen:  The Shining, Event Horizon, The Ammityville Horror, The Exorcist, Almost Dead.

2.  Name the Five Scariest Songs You've Ever Heard:  Requiem for Soprano, Einsturzende Neubauten - Armenia, Skinny Puppy - The Mourn, Skinny Puppy - Draining Faces, Slayer - Gemini.

3.  Name the Five Scariest Books You've Ever Read:  The Hot Zone - Richard Preston, The Lurker at the Threshold - H.P. Lovecraft, The Cellar - Richard Laymon, The King in Yellow - Robert Chambers, The Best of H.P. Lovecraft - H.P. Lovecraft.

4.  Name the Five Best Pranks You've Pulled on Halloween or any other time.:  My faked suicide in high school,  Time I dressed as the Grim Reaper and scared little kids,  The fake Satanic ritual we held on the golf course, including fake sacrifice, The fake story with negative feedback prank at Jix.

5.  Name the Five Best Costumes You've Ever Worn:  My robot costume in second grade, my mummy costume in fourth grade, my cultist costume for my senior year, my Grim Reaper costume for my junior year, my hazmat suit for a number of Halloweens.

Hope everyone had a happy Halloween.

Posted early Monday morning,
November 1st, 2004


My brother rocks.

My brother is in town on a hurricane trip this weekend, for a funeral.   He brought me something very, very cool.   Recently, when Ministry played in Denver, Silencer's bass player, Jeff "Evil" went to see them.   My brother and other band members were at different club show watching Thro-Cult.    Jeff showed up and told them, "Hey.  Ministry is coming to this bar"    Sure enough the band showed up, Keith went up to Al Jorgensen and got me a personalized autograph.   I'm going to frame it.:)

You rock Keith.

Posted Saturday afternoon,
October 2, 2004





Perks of working a Mixed Martial Arts Event. *g*



Eric and the Ring Girls for Desert Extreme 2


Posted Monday evening,
September 27, 2004




Perks of being a Web Designer for a King of the Cage Fight Promoter. *g*



King of the Cage Ring Girl Lupita.



King of the Cage ring girls for November 24, 2004 event at Soboba Casino.


Posted Monday evening,
September 27, 2004



Psycho Survey: In the Dead of the Night

1. What if anything will keep you up all night?

Like I ever needed an excuse. *g*   Doesn't take much doing.  Have been a night owl since college.   Will be up till 3:30 on a typical night.  If anything keeps me up unexpectedly, it's either too much caffeine, or having read or watched something scary.

2. If you find yourself up all night, and not in a hurry to go to bed, what are you usually doing?

I'm a world class mouse potato.   I can surf for hours.  Especially if I find a fun to site to surf on like Internet Movie Database or Snopes. Middle of the night is also the best time to work on fan fiction without interuption.    When inspiration strikes, I can work all night, and the night passes in the blink of an eye.    Middle of the night is also the best time for uninterupted sessions on computer games.   A favorite middle of the night past time in days gone past was finding a really intense movie I get into and watching it in a dark room with no outside interruptions or distractions.    Heat, Blade Runner and Strange Days were favorites for this.

3.  How late will you sleep when you have been up all night?

As long as I don't have to work or be anywhere, if I have literally been up all night, I will sleep till 3 or 4 in the afternoon.


That's all for now.

Posted early Sunday morning,
September 26th, 2004




RIP Johnny Ramone

We'll miss you.   Hey Ho! Let's go!

Posted Saturday evening,
September 18th, 2004



Psycho Survey: The Most Uninformative and Useless Meme Ever . . . .

To all participating, answer these questions on your blog, and I guarantee you, no one will know you any better than they did before:

1.  Have you ever worn jeans?
Yes

2.  Have you ever taken a shower?
Yes

3.  Have you ever eaten breakfast?
Yes

4.  Have you ever had a cold?
Yes

5.  Have you ever woken up in the morning?
Yes

6.  Have you ever used a computer?
Yes

7.  Have you ever watched a movie?
Yes

8.  Have you ever seen a cat?
Yes

9.  Have you ever witnessed a rain storm?
Yes

10.  Have you ever had a conversation with another person?
Yes.

Feel free to add additional questions of equal import.:)

Posted Thursday,
September 16, 2004




21 Assault Rifle Salute

Ten years ago, a poorly, written, poorly thought out, piece of reactionary feel good legislation was signed into law, accomplishing nothing more than restricting the Second Amendment rights of law abiding American citizens.    People like me, enraged at this encroachment of our rights went to the polls in droves and the Republicans won control of the House and Senate for the first time in 40 years.   Even the speaker of the house was voted out of office for this travesty.     Despite all the claims and doctored polls saying people wanted this, the 94 elections proved otherwise.

During the ban on so called assault weapons, the nation saw some of the worst crimes ever, committed by criminals who were not deterred by this law or any other.     Many ruefully admit that the ban did nothing to stop Columbine, Jonesboro, or the North Hollywood Bank Shootout.

The only way the ban was passed was with a sunset clause, stating that in ten years, unless there was a vote to renew it, the law would go away.    That day is today.    House majority leader Tom DeLay won't even bring it up for a vote, because the votes are not there to pass. 

The gun control people are screaming bloody murder.   They always predict doomsday in situations like this.    Their biggest piece of so called evidence is a Department of Justice study done under Clinton that says crimes against cops have gone down 66 percent.    But they very selectively quote this study.   This very same study states that the decline in violent crime had begun three years before the ban was passed, and was happening anyway.   This very same study said there is absolutely no proof that the ban had anything to do with it.  Similar studies by the CDC and other groups all come up with the same conclusion.   There is no proof that it accomplished anything.

The gun control crowd is once again quoting their polls.    The sad fact of the matter is most people polled about this don't realize something.    THE BAN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MACHINE GUNS.    IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FULLY AUTOMATIC WEAPONS.   They have been illegal since 1934.     They are just as illegal now as they were before the ban expired, and before it was passed.   What did the ban have to do with?   Guns that looked scary.   It was about things like pistol grips, bayonet lugs and flash suppressors.    Because of course we all know how many drug dealers use bayonets and re-enact Pickett's charge.  *RME*.     The ban also did nothing about the weapons already in circulation.   I was the proud owner of an FN-FAL with all the offending parts.   I bought it during the ban.    It was cheap and easy to find. 

The gun control movement doesn't really concern itself with fact or logic.   They would have people believe that everyone can now go out and buy a machine gun like Rambo's and go on a rampage.   

It was absolutely priceless how Kerry accepted a hunting weapon as a present that would be illegal if his version of the ban gets passed.  Dumb fuck. 

I've been counting down the days to today for ten long years.    Now the last of the damage done by Slick Willie has been undone, and law abiding citizens can now enjoy their Second Amendment rights.     And if the gun control crowd manages to get another stupid law passed, all I have to say is, we are just as ready to deal with you as we were in 1994.     We don't forget.    We will fight you.   We will vote.  

Good ridance assault weapon ban.   You won't be missed.


Posted Monday,
September 13, 2004



Mexican Industrial Music

Now, I don't consider myself racist when it comes to music.    In fact if there is anything true about a lot of music I love, it's that it's very international.     Many consider Jimi Hendrix the godfather of modern metal.     Metal quickly spread to the entire world.   Yngwie Malmsteen made metal from Sweden.   Mama's Boys and Therapy made metal from Ireland.    King Diamond and Amorphis made metal from Denmark.  Gorky Park made metal from Russia.    Trust made metal from France.   Loudness and EZO made metal from Japan.  The list goes on.

Now in the realm of techno and industrial music, Europe is  a powerhouse.  Denmark and Germany in particular.    Recently on Netscape radio however, I have been hearing a lot of music from two Mexican industrial bands in particular. 

I have three words for these bands.   Give *it* up    *sigh*


Posted Thursday
September 9, 2004







Random Life Updates

Haven't been in a blogging mood.   Been too busy writing.   But now that writer's block has finally struck again, at least for the moment, thought I would update this.


1) I am seriously considering scrapping the sequel to my cheesecake story.   I'm not getting anywhere with it, and it's just not breaking any new ground or doing much for me.   Have too many other projects to consider.

2)  13 days until the "assualt" weapon ban expires.   The gun control crowed is raising bloody hell, but to little avail.   Too many congressman and senators remember what happened in 1994.:)

3)  Got an extremely interesting package in the mail today from a fan.   It contained panties.   I never dreamed in a million years that as a fan fiction writer I would end up with groupies.:)  

4)  Went to another King of the Cage event at the Sky City Casino in Grants last Saturday.   It was fun as always.   The fights were very short and brutal.    Heavyweight contender Joey Villasenor knocked his opponent out cold in 6 seconds, with one good punch.   The paramedics were up there in very short order with a spine board and oxygen, but Hank "The Vise" Weiss eventually came to and walked out under his own power.     This was the first time I had ever seen women fight in King of the Cage, or any Mixed Martial Arts competition.   That fight was short and brutal too.    I felt the need to be a smart ass after the fight and told my friends Alan and Jared, "A woman must have to be extremely brave to fight in King of the Cage, because the announcer announced their real age and weight."   *g*.  They were suitably amused.    I may be working the Desert Extreme 2 fight my boss is putting on this weekend as a stager.   Will have boxing, kick boxing and MMA fights.   My job doesn't pay much, but the work is varied and always interesting.

5) During said trip, my boss gave me money to do something I had never done before: I gambled.   Before I ever tried this, I didn't trust slot machines as far as I could throw them.    Now that I have had a chance to try them out, I REALLY don't trust them. . .

6)   Today I got to transcribe a paper written by our beloved Mayor (NOT . . .).   He is making a run for State Representative and we are hosting his campaign site.    I discovered much to my saddened amusement that he is completely illiterate.    He tries to sound impressive with big words, but puts sentences together about as well as a well trained chimpanzee.    Makes me cold all over how this illiterate is an MD that has been practicing medicine since 1975. . . .

7)   Silencer has completed drum and rhythm guitar tracks for their new album.   Should be completely recorded by the end of September.  I can't fucking wait.    Despite having 11 songs, my brother tells me the total length will be 36 minutes of very dense thrash.  I told him, "God damn, Keith, are you trying to re-record Reign in Blood?"  He told me, "Hey, it worked for Slayer." *g*

Until next time, stay tuned on this same psycho channel at this same psycho time, for another psycho entry.:)


Posted  Tuesday Afternoon
September 1st, 2004



Psycho Survey: Cult Shit.

1. Cult Movies:  Highlight or somehow bold every one you've seen.  Italicize the ones you own.

A Clockwork Orange
Akira
Ghost in the Shell
The Legend of the Overfiend
The Hunger
Resevior Dogs
Pulp Fiction
The Wild Bunch
The Killer
Hard Boiled
Pink Floyd: The Wall
The Crow
Heavy Metal
Heavy Metal 2000
The Matrix
The Castle of Cagliostro
The Blues Brothers
Monty Python's Holy Grail
2001: A Space Odyssey
Cecil B. Demented
Pink Flamingos
Serial Mom
The Decline of Western Civilization
The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years
The Texas Chainsaw Masacre
Heavy Metal Parking Lot
This is Spinal Tap
Kentucky Fried Movie
Repo Man
Amazon Women on the Moon
The Naked Lunch
Strange Brew
Enter the Dragon
Supercop
Fist of Legend
Jackie Chan's Police Story
Armor of the Gods
The Doom Generation
Se7en
Strange Days
Blade Runner
Blade Runner: The Director's Cut
Alien
Aliens
The Terminator
Scream
Orgy of the Dead
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Forbidden Planet
Godzilla: King of the Monsters
El Mariachi
Desperado
Taxi Driver
Dogma
Clerks
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

2.  Cult Sci-Fi.   Highlight the movie franchises or TV shows you have followed regularly

Robocop
Tremors
The Matrix
Max Headroom
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek:  Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek:  Enterprise
Jurasic Park
Battlestar Galactica
Galactica 1980
Babylon 5
Farscape
Dr. Who
The Terminator
Lord of the Rings
Robotech
Alien Quadrilogy
Predator
Men in Black
VR 5
Mantis
Stargate SG-1
Star Wars
Species

3. Cult Horror.   Highlight the franchises you have followed somewhat regularly

Friday the 13th
Nightmare on Elm Street
Halloween
Scream
I Know What You Did Last Summer
George Romero zombie movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead)
Return of the Living Dead
Camp Sleepaway
Hellraiser
Exorcist
Ammityville Horror
The Howling
Evil Dead
From Dusk till Dawn trilogy

4.  Cult Events.   Highlight cult events you have attended.

Rocky Horror Picture Show screening
Lolapalooza concert
Star Trek convention
Coffee house poetry reading
Burning Man
Rainbow gathering
Grateful Dead concert
Ozzfest concert
Rave
Purity Test Party
Ice Blocking Party
Dungeons & Dragons/Gaming convention

5.  The Cult.  List songs by the band The Cult that you like:

American Horse, Rain, She Sells Sanctuary, Edie (Ciao Baby), Soul Asylum, Sweet Soul Sister, New York City

That's all for now.:)

Posted Tuesday,
July 13, 2004



Psycho Self Survey: Productivity and Other Useless Wastes of Time

Haven't been in a very blogging mood lately.   Been too busy writing.   Been hammering out stories at a very high rate of speed.)   This got me curious.      Dana once predicted that I would live until I was 99 and write a hundred fan fics.    It would appear that in the near future, she will be half right.    So instead of writing tonight, I took a bit of an ETBC inventory.   Without further ado, ETBC alminac of madness.

Total Stories Completed*: 79
Average Words Per Story: 13,508.7
Average Pages Per Story: 37.329
Total Pages Written: 2949
Total Words Written: 1,067,191
Shortest Story Written:  Mystery of the Galloping Sadde - 1,292 Words, 4 Pages
Longest Story Written:   Fratman and Brian - 71,074 Words, 159 Pages
First Story Posted: March 1st, 2000.

Crossovers wth other series: Encyclopedia Brown, The Mad Scientist's Club
Eric's Favorites of his Mystery Stories: Very Spooky Mystery, Ghost in the Machine, Bugs in the System
Eric's Favorites of his Drama Stories:  Scriptiamus Sanamus, Fratman and Brian
Eric's Favorites of his Funny Stories: Burned (Collateral Damage), This Boy's Life, Dan's Ark, The Mystery that was Just Wrong
Stories Eric Wrote in One Sitting:  16
Stories that took the longest to finish: Will You Live Again?, Fratman and Brian
Number of full computer games Eric completed while he was trying to finish these stories: 8.
Number of people who threatened to take away his video card so that he would stop playing games and write: 3
Stories in Progress: Around five
Unposted "Smut File" Stories: Four completed, several more unfinished.

Favorite Fanmail:  Email I got from a former NSA agent.
Favorite Negative Comment:  "Jim and Hallie? What were you thinking?"
Comment that had the most effect on what I was going to write and do with my universe: "Please keep Jim and Trixie together."
Story that has generated the most feedback: Scriptiamus Sanamus

Guest appearances of ETBC characters in other universes:  Corey Dawson in Kate's Sins of the Father.   Junior has appeared twice in Mary's  universe.
Fans' favorite ETBC original character:  Junior the Cat.   Cat in real life was named for him.
Collaborating & Guest Authors: Mary & Kyrie in Plausible Excusability
Number of other author's Eric has approached about collaborating that declined to or never got around to it: Two

*These counts and averages do not count the unposted "Smut file" stories

Here is the full table if I haven't put you to sleep with boredom yet.:)   Although there is a lot of overlap in the timeline in certain areas, most notably during Trixie's senior year of high school, this is pretty much the order they happen in.    Out of universe stories are listed at the very end.

Tile	Story Number	Word Count	Page Count
The Prohibition Mystery	N/A	4,981	14
Encyclopedia Brown Meets Trixie Belden	N/A	6,959	24
Blinking Eye Chapter 1.5 - How the Diamond Got to New York	N/A	4,212	11
Blinking Eye Epilogue	N/A	3,726	10
The Very Spooky Mystery: The Director's Cut	#1	31,162	82
The Mystery of the Obnoxious Horse	#2	4,351	13
The Mystery One Dark and Stormy Night	#3	16,667	49
The Really Cheesy Mystery	#4	7,434	23
The Mystery of the Savant's Hand	#5	31,343	80
Salt & Spice and Everything Nice	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #2	3,964	13
Stockholm Hijinx	#6	5,315	16
Burned (Collateral Damage)	#7	13,687	39
The Cat Who Joined the Bob-Whites	#8	10,361	30
Life's Little Pleasures (and Big Cases)	#9	6,381	19
Second Degree Burned: The Naked (Wet) Truth	#10	17,796	50
Scriptiamus Sanamus (formerly known as the Dreaded Part 9)	#11	49,887	97
The Mystery of the Raving Psychopath: The Director's Cut	#12	20,740	58
Where's Dan?: The Uncut Version	#13	9,864	29
Dan Mangan in 90 Seconds	#14	8,870	22
Will You Live Again?	#15	56,021	143
Third Degree Burned: I Think About Rough Burns	#16	20,590	53
Cryptography	#17	12,876	34
Days of Death: The Thought that Counts	#18	9,312	25
The Mystery that was Just Wrong	#19	10,365	28
The Cat Before Christmas	#20	1,536	6
Voices	#21	10,078	26
This Boy's Life	#22	16,692	43
Lazy Days	#23	5,378	14
Pomp and Circumstantial Evidence	#24	7,643	20
The Mosh-Whites of the Glen	#25	16,750	43
Cough Syrup	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #3	1,437	4
The Ghost in the Machine	#26	21,955	45
In the Absence of Light	#27	4,404	11
Gettin' Jimmy with It	#28	11,261	36
The Nerve (Gas) of Some People	#29	6,536	15
The Musicians of Sleepyside	#30	10,772	30
The Song Fic . . . OF DEATH	#31	12,469	12
Desecrated Septic Tank Human Remains: Live from Flippin'	#32	9,691	22
Jingle Bell Death Metal	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #5	4,636	14
Is it Home Yet?	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #4	7,305	21
Dan's Ark	#33	16,339	47
Fratman and Brian	#34	71,074	159
Gimmie the ASKOF	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #6	7,738	22
Slippery Payback	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #1	2,533	7
Forever and Tonight: Uncut Version	#100	29,521	72
Attempted Murder on the Orient Express	#101	18,878	51
Trixie Belden: The Justice Files	#102	13,546	36
The Nature of the Snake	#103	17,573	45
Bugs in the System	#104	26,233	71
Stockholm Revenge	#105	5,049	16
Plausible Excusability	#106	6,155	20
Old Misty Mountain	#107	8,642	23
Songs and Vengeance	#108	17,762	45
Pavlov's Dog, Jung's Wolf	#109	39,489	99
Mystery Points	#110	11,585	32
Trixie Belden: The New Justice Files	#111	8,123	21
The Nemesis Within	#112	29,837	78
In the Shadow of the Happy Valley of Death	#113	47,044	111
Operation Rainbow Gold: A Justice Files Special	#114	7,976	21
Mystery of the Librarian's Husband	#115 - Case One	3,022	10
The Game Show Mystery	#115 - Case Two	4,115	9
Adventures on Surveillance	#115 - Case Three	3,506	11
The Mystery of the Galloping Saddle	#115 - Case Four	1,292	4
The One Million Mile Club: Flight of the Star of Sleepyside	#116	10,470	30
Burgers are from Mars, Cheesecake is from Venus	#117	6,935	20
Legacy of Damnation	#118	21,396	58
Requiem for the Damned	#119	7,581	20
Day of the Jim	Secret Moments, Hidden Lives #7	6,717	21
The Boots in the Fog	#120	33,876	92
Paradise: The Perfect Drug	#121	17,918	49
Shredded Slippers in Heaven	#122	3,662	11
Just Because You're Paranoid	#123	10,644	29
Brom's Legacy	#124	11,566	34
Death, Hell & Satan	#125	8,470	23
Burned 4: AFTERBURNER	#126	12,370	35
Apocalypse Now (Or Your Money Back)	N/A	3,712	13
It's in the way that you do it	N/A	3,443	10
Serenity in Murder	N/A	12,263	36
Cosmo McNaught and the Crisis on Space Station X	N/A	4,319	9

Tentative Future Schedule of Upcoming Stories  (Details and order may be subject to change with no notice):

Food for the Gods	#127	?	?
Day of the Orchid	#128	?	?
The New Belden-Wheeler Detective Agency Case Files	#129	?	?
The House That Hate Built	#130	?	?
For the Love of War	#131	?	?
Song Fic . . . OF DEATH 2: The Song Remains Deranged	#132	12,082	28

Oh GOD do I need to get a life . . . . 

I have set a goal for myself however.   I want to complete enough stories to have a 100 in one year's time.   I think I can do it. The ones above are very far along, and with any luck I'll have them done by the end of the summer.  Then it may finally be time to put the Chronicles to bed.

Although it doesn't have to be this anal or thorough, if any of you other fan fic writers are brave enough, I'd love to see what you have accomplished in terms of amount of writing.:)


Posted Saturday,
July 3, 2004