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Bad Joke Alert

A duck walks into a bar. It goes up to the bartender and goes, in a very whinny and child like voice:

"Got any bread?"

The bartender looks down at the duck and says, "No. Don't have any bread. Go away."

To the annoyance of the bartender, they duck persists, no matter what he says:

"Got any bread?"

"No, I already told you, I don't have any fucking bread."

"Got any bread?"

"This is a fucking bar, not a fucking bakery or a supermaket. We DON'T have bread!"

"Got any bread?"

"Are you fucking deaf? WE DON'T HAVE BREAD!"

"Got any bread?"

"Look you stupid duck, if you ask me that one more time I'm going to nail your beak to the bar!"

The duck gets quiet for a moment and then asks:

"Got any nails?"

"No."

"Got any bread?"

Posted very late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning.
March 19, 2003

The Ten Best Punk Songs You've Never Heard

In continuing with this particular music theme that I started below, I thought today I would tackle punk:)

To most who aren't young and stupid, the term punk rock brings to mind bands like the Ramones, the Sex Pistols or the more radio friendly sounds of The Clash. Punk is a scene though easily as big and as diverse as rock-n-roll itself, with easily as many sub classifications. Old school punks are just as familiar with terms as hardcore, skate, crossover, emo, and straight edge as metalheads are with terms like thrash, glam or black metal.
But for the occassional dabbler, here are a few gems that wouldn't sound out of place on a radio music block with classics such as I Wanna Be Sedated.

1. D.O.A. - War
Yes, it's a cover of that song.:) And a good one, done by Vancouver hardcore outfit D.O.A.

2. T.S.O.L. - The Name is Love
Another radio friendly gem by a punk band as old as the scene itself, the True Sound of Liberty.

3. No Means No - Humans
A really good song by another Vancouver based punk outfit known for their tight sound and catchy songs.

4. Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized
For the pround owners of the soundtrack to the old cult classic Emilio Estevez movie Repo Man, this is not a new song. It's the infamous "all I wanted was a "Pepsi" song, and a funny one at that. Definitely worth a listen.

5. Screeching Weasel - The Science of Myth
Chicago based Screeching Weasel has been a staple of the genre since the late 80s. This song is a fast catchy track, trademark for their sound.

6. Midnight Oil - Read About It
Australian punk/alternative outfit Midnight Oil was around long before their break out American hit Beds Are Burning, and this song is a good example of why they've had loyal fans since they began in 1978.

7. Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia
This anthem against rich kids who think they know it all is a classic.

8. The Misfits - She
Most people know the Misfits from the Metallica covers of their songs like Die!Die My Darling and Last Caress/Green Hell. This rocker is vintage Misfits that shows what put them on the map.

9. Public Image Limited - This is not a Love Song
After the Sex Pistols, Johnny Rotten changed his name to Johnny Lydon and started this new band. The name and the band may have been new, but this song showed the bitten cynicism, black humor and punk sound of the Sex Pistols was alive and well.

10. Social Distortion - Telling Them
Classic teenaged rebellion song by one of punks oldest and most influential acts.

Posted Early Monday Evening.
St. Patrick's Day

Hah! I knew it! <g>

http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/03/17/marriage.poll.reut/index.html.

So there.:)

Posted Late Monday Afternoon
St. Patrick's Day

The Best Ten Heavy Metal Songs You've Never Heard

Chances are if you listen to rock-n-roll on a regular basis, whether it be classic rock, or some more modern derivative like alternative, you have been exposed to heavy metal. Old standbys like Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne and AC/DC still get heavy airplay on classic rock stations. If you grew up in the 80s or listened to a lot of rock in the eighties you probably heard even more metal, whether it was Def Leppard, Quiet Riot or Motley Crue in the early 80s or Guns-n-Roses, Whitesnake or Cinderella in the late 80s. If you are a rock fan, you had to have spent some serious quality time under a damp rock to have not heard songs such as AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long. Chances are too, that if you've spent any amount of time listening to a classic rock station, you've also heard metal anthems like Judas Priest's You've Got Another Thing Coming or Living After Midnight.

As with any scene, there is music that becomes popular enough to break out and music that doesn't. The reason some songs make it and some don't is often a mystery to fans of a particular genre. This is not to say that the fans don't like the popular songs or groups who make it. They just like other stuff just as much, and wonder why one made it when the other did not.

In this digital age of online file swapping and mp3s, it has become easier than ever to explore new music and new songs. So in the interest of sharing my love of metal to the brave and curious, I thought I would list some gems I think got overlooked by the public in general. This is *not* a list of the heaviest, fastest, and most extreme stuff I like. Maybe I'll make that list later.:) This is a list of accessible, yet really solid heavy metal that I think casual fans may appreciate.

1. Def Leppard - Another Hit & Run
Before the runaway success of Hysteria, or even the success of Pyromania during the new wave of British heavy metal, Def Leppard did an album called High-n-Dry. It was raw, energetic and IMHO one of their best albums ever. Most casual fans of this band are only familiar with the song Bringing on the Heartache from this album. But Another Hit & Run is a raw, powerful rocker, and a gem from a young, undiscovered Def Leppard eager to prove they could jam with the best of them.

2. The Scorpions - Coast to Coast
To most, the Scorpions didn't appear on their radar until the early 90s hit Winds of Change. To old fans the Scorps had been an old favorite and staple of the metal scene since their debut in the early 70s. This instrumental from the album Lovedrive represents everything good about the Scorps with a three guitar aural assault that they still play at every single concert they ever play. Be sure to also catch the live recording of this song on World Wide Live.

3. Saxon - Princess of the Night
Saxon never had the notoriety of Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest or their other British contemporaries of the early 80s English metal explosion, but had their measure of international fame in the metal community. This rocker, an ode to an old steam engine, is a song I can play to just about any rock fan, and get them going. A classic I never get tired of.

4. Yngwie Malmsteen - Icarus Dream Suite Opus 4
Swedish guitar virtoso Yngwie Malmsteen was written off early on in his career by critics as a Scandanavian Eddie Van Halen wannabe, but to metalheads, he was the shit, and the real thing. With his Viking epics and swords and sorcery themed albums and songs, set often to classical sounding gutair pieces of metal thunder, fans just couldn't get enough. This instrumental probably has Strauss rolling around in his grave.

5. Queensryche - Take Hold of the Flame
To the MTV generation, and many others, Queensryche is synonymous with Silent Lucidity. Few realized that Queensryche cut their teeth as one of the definitive metal acts of the 80s. During interviews with the band after the success of Silent Lucidity, they had many amusing stories to tell about new fans checking their tickets at concerts, wondering if there had been a mistake, and wondering if they were indeed seeing the band they saw on MTV. This song is old school Queensryche, with tight guitar work, and Geoff Tate's soaring operatic vocals, that clearly illustrates what put this band on the map.

6. Black Sabbath - Heaven and Hell
To most, Black Sabbath is synonymous with Ozzy Osbourne and the music they recorded with him as lead singer. Few realize that after Ozzy left, the band continued to have a big and respected career with singer Ronnie James Dio, and this song is one of Sabbath's finest, pre or post Ozzy.

7. Metallica - Orion
This song and many others of it's era are the reasons most fans who knew of and liked Metallica before their self titled 'black' album came out, feel sick to their stomach when Enter Sandman comes on, and want to cry when they hear anything they've done since then. This masterpiece is so grand in it's vision and scope that when the song launches into it's second part of brooding bass, you forget you are listening to speed metal, and want to ballroom dance instead of mosh. (And yes, I actually have. <g>)

8. Dokken - Mr. Scary
Although never as big as Motley Crue, Def Leppard or Whitesnake, Dokken did enjoy a small measure of success in the 80s with a few MTV hit singles and the title track on the Nightmare on Elm Street 3 soundtrack. This instrumental clearly illustrates that Dokken was more than a hair metal band, and could jam with the best of them.

9. Iron Maiden - Purgatory
I can't say enough good things about this song. Why it wasn't ten times as popular as every other metal song that broke out of the underground I'll never know. It was catchier than any Guns-n-Roses song. It was heavier than any hair metal rocker. It was tighter than any of even Def Leppard or Whitesnake's best songs. It's a song I can listen to on endless loop for hours and never get tired of. It's one of the reasons I will always believe that Iron Maiden is the greatest band that ever lived.

10. Silencer - The Error of Your Ways
(SHAMELESS ENDORSEMENT ALERT <g>). Grunge is dead. The wannabe so called alternative of the 90s is dying. People have had enough of the whinny, flannel wearing, coffee drinking, manic depressives claiming to be fringe and edgy. Heavy is coming back, and people are starting to look for more than weak assed rap core. Metal will return, and Silencer will lead the wave with thundering anthems such as this one that will show a new generation why their elders just can't take this newer music seriously. . . . .

Posted sometime Saturday after I woke up.
March 15th, 2003

Psycho Survey

As I often notice while surfing the net, there seem to be several regular fun surveys that circulate, such as the Thursday Threesome or the Friday Five. As I often do when I notice things like this, I've decided to put my own own spin on it, and do it Eric style. God only knows how people will react to this.:) But damn the torpedos. If I based my life on how popular what I did was, I wouldn't be the Eric that so many people have come to hate and despise.:) I'm still in hot water over the "Eric actually smiling for a picture" picture that I have on my website.<gggg>

So without further ado, I proudly announce my new, will appear at random intervals, everyone is encouraged to particpate, blog survey: "The Psycho Survey." So here are today's random number of questions with no common theme whatsoever.:)

1. Name some things you can do in one hour.

1) Listen to every single good popular song released in the 90s. Twice.:) 2) Face a large dairy display case. 3) Get out of bed, although I'm often
cutting that one kind of close.:)

2. Name some stuff that you are really into that you think most people haven't heard of before.

1) Richard Marcinko books 2) The music groups Skinny Puppy, Godflesh, Wargasm and Voivod 3) The Lupin III japanese anime series and movies.

3. Name a place you've been that you wouldn't hesistate to blow up with a sizeable nuclear weapon.

Socorro High School.

Woooohoooo! Here begins the inagural survey.:)

Posted very early Saturday Morning.
March 15th, 2003.

A Eulogy for my assault rifle

Two years and a few months ago, when I was still employed and had money to burn, I became the proud owner of an FN FAL 7.62mm semi-
automatic assault rifle. It was fun to shoot, and I was proud to own it. Today I sold it, to pay off a wave of bills. My only consolation is that it has a good home now, and that when I am working again, one of the first things I am going to do is buy a BIGGER one.:)

Posted Wednesday night before I win the Powerball Jackpot.:)
March 12th, 2003

Eric's Story of the Day: The Stormtroopers of Death

I realize I don't have a commenting system implemented. But maybe someone could answer a question for me. In my time at Trixie land since I have become a permanent fixture, I have come to realize that for better or for worse, I have had some measure of influence. Now I'm not trying to sound like an arrogant shit. But there are signs that have seeped into my thick skull that have led me to believe that there are things that go on in Jix that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't shown up.

Now this isn't the first time I've been in this situation, and by this I mean, it's not the first time I've been part of a group where I was so different than anybody else. I pride myself on being a fairly unique individual. And when you are unique, it means no group you are a part of is going to have anyone like you. Of course in Trixie land, having a Y chromosome already sets you apart. But even more than that, I realize I'm a freak. But I seem to be an influential freak. How did I come to this conclusion? It has to do with a speed metal band called the Stormtroopers of Death.

I've mentioned a lot of music, both in my fan fiction and various discussions with my friends at Jix. Some of it has been music that a lot of other people like. Some of it has been pretty fringe stuff that no one had ever heard of. Largely for the humorous shock value involved, I mentioned the Stormtroopers of Death in several stories. And when I wrote a song fic parody, S.O.D. was a natural choice for lyrics.

Now, it seems, every time I turn around, and some sort of vote or list about music is made at Jix, I see S.O.D. on it. Now I really would have thought that if something I was into was going to catch on at Jix, it would be something a little less fringe and extreme. I didn't even vote for S.O.D. when these lists went around. Yet S.O.D. appears every time, which makes me wonder who is nominating it. I find the fact that a song like "Premenstrual Princess Blues" appears on these lists without my nominating it very funny on so many levels.

But since there seems to be this mysterious interest in S.O.D., I thought I would share their story here.

Speed metal entered the public eye after Metallica made it big, and entered the spotlight, in the metal friendly years of the 80s. After Metallica paved the way, the first bands to follow in their footsteps were Megadeth, Anthrax, and Slayer. Together, these bands became known as the four horsemen of speed metal. Fans couldn't get enough, and this was followed by another wave of lesser known bands like Metal Church, Testament and Voivod. The speed metal explosion also brought attention to older established acts such as Exodus, Venom and Motorhead, as well as to a little known project called S.O.D..

The idea for S.O.D. actually started as a comic book. Scott Ian and Charlie Benante of Anthrax fame were really into comics and wanted to do their own for a very long time. They came up with the idea of a character named Sargent Death, who led his stormtroopers of death. He was goning to be a no holds barred, kill them all type and shameless fascist. They were going to explore the issues of racism and other fascist views from a first person perspective and try to get into the head of what someone like that would think. They tried to sell their idea on another veteran of the New York scene, Billy Milano. Billy, loved it, but thought that this was all a better idea for a band. They had all wanted to do an homage to hardcore punk that had influenced speed meetal so much. So the trio recruited former Anthrax bassist and Nuclear Assault bass player Dan Liliker, and they recorded the now legendary Speak English or Die. This album went on to become a cult classic in the metal underground. Nothing was sacred on this album as S.O.D. attacked everything and everyone from hair metal, to women, to Arabs, to foreigners, to Jimi Hendrix with their commical and over the top lyrics coming from their fictional character Sargent Death in a masterpiece metal/punk crossover and parody of skinhead attitudes.

The album was a huge hit selling an unprecedented 400,000 copies for an underground speed metal band. But because of commitments to their other bands, Charlie, Scott and Dan had to leave and S.O.D was disbanded. Billy Milano had no band to go back to however, and decided that S.O.D. would live on in at least spirit, if not name. So he recruited a new band and called it Method of Destruction. M.O.D.'s new fascist character was a brute named Corporal Punishment. They went on to record a half a dozen albums of the course of the next fifteen years.

Enter the 90s. Metal is no longer in any kind of public spotlight, and many speed metal bands either fall by the wayside or go back from arena acts to club acts playing and touring out of a van. Everyone grew nostalgic for S.O.D., and the members decided to have a reunion concert at the famous New York club The Ritz. I was in school at Rochester at the time and was offerred a ride to see it. Alas I was too broke, and was very depressed about missing it. On their tenth anniversary, they released a recording of this show as the live album Live at Budokan. The title was a joke of course, since this show had been in New York. Interest in S.O.D. didn't wane, and the fans wanted more, so the band finally went back into the studio and recorded a new full album called Bigger Than the Devil. Although not the same classic that their first was, it got suitable attention from the fans, and S.O.D. went on a full international tour in support of it. My brother got to see them on this tour. S.O.D. then released the single Seasoning the Obese when the band broke up again.

By this time the band had gotten enough attention to be noticed outside of the scene. VH1 did a Behind the Music show about Anthrax, but a large portion of the show ended up being about S.O.D.. They ended up giving S.O.D. their own special. It was this special that got the band fighting. The dispute was between Scott and Charlie of Anthrax and Billy. Billy thought that Dan was being slighted and pushed out of the spotlight, and not getting his fair share of the credit. The blow-up was bad, and many think S.O.D. is probably broken up permanently now. Which, in my opinion, is a shame. I really dig them and always will.

If any of you readers are feeling brave, and make use of Kazaa or any similar utilities to download songs, and are curious about S.O.D., I would recommend getting one of their songs like What's That Noise or The Anti-Procrastination Song. These will give you a pretty good idea of the band's sense of humor, and will brace you for their songs that seem to be much harsher lyrically.

And that's it for Eric's story hour today.:)

Post very late Sunday night.
March 10, 2003

As seen on numerous blogs: a survey of sorts.

I suppose you haven't truly blogged until you've done one of these. It will probably take an hour to type this out, but oh well.:)

Favorite Movies (Right this minute)

Right this minute? Hmmmmm. . . . .

1. Swordfish
2. 3000 Miles to Graceland
3. Blade Runner
4. Strange Days
5. What Lies Beneath
6. Hard Boiled

Favorite Bands (Right this Minute)

1. Ministry
2. Ministry
3. Ministry
4. Ministry
5. Ministry
6. Ministry
7. Ministry
8. Ministry
9. Ministry
10. Ministry

(The new album RULES)

Five Things I did not name my children but wanted to.

Children? Surely you are joking. Okay. I can play along with a gag as well as the next person . . . .

1. Eric
2. Shelby
3. Melanie

Yes. Only three. As you can probably tell, I try not to think about this too much.:)

Favorite Foods

1. Cheeseburgers from the Owl Bar & Cafe in San Antonio NM
2. An El Camino Special
3. Triple Classic Cheeseburger from Wendy's
4. Stuffed crust pepperoni lovers pizza from Pizza Hut
5. Just about any pizza from Godfather's Pizza
6. That overpriced red grease/white grease pizza they sell at Sbarro's in the mall eateries
7. Any pizza from Beau Jeau's in Idaho Springs, Colorado
8. Delimex beef taquitos with melted cheese and sour cream
9. Gouda cheese
10. Muenster cheese
11. Breaded mushrooms in ranch dressing
12. Turkey, cheese and ketchup on a tortilla sandwhiches
13. Hebrew National beef hot dogs
14. My mother's homemade bread
15. The El Camino Chef's Salad.
16. My mother's homemade lasagna.

Weird exterior things that attract me to people

1. Long hair
2. Proportion

Random Things I Appreciate About My Friends and Loved Ones

1. They are very intelligent
2. They call me on my bullshit
3. They put up with me in the first place
4. They like me for who I am

Five things that have recently pissed me off

1. I broke my fucking arm
2. My mother withheld any finanical assistance on medical bills or otherwise unless I agreed to cut my hair.
3. Because of item one on this list I can't write
4. Because of item one on this list I can't play Aliens vs. Predator 2 or any other computer game.
5. Pressure in general. Pressure from other people makes me want to burn the world and everyone in it.

Five Obscure Facts About My Past

1. I was hospitalized for several weeks at age three for pneumonia. I spent most of my stay screaming because I thought my parents had
abandoned me to these mean people in white coats that jabbed me with needles and stuck tubes down my throat.
2. I was an extremely timid child that had no stomach for any kind of gore or graphic violence, and didn't even like watching commercials for
horror movies.
3. I was once mugged by eleven gang bangers high on crack. They were out "looking for someone to fuck up". Every time I have ever been seriously physically attacked in my life, it's always been by someone on drugs. Usually marijuana. Peaceful mellow drug my fucking ass.
4. I am related to Revolutionary War hero and naval commander John Paul "I have not yet even begun to fight" Jones.
5. I was inadvertently named for my grandmother's first child, who died at age two, years before my father was born.

Five Things I Am Thankful for at This Very Minute

1. My girlfriend, best friend, confidant and true love Lisa.
2. My arm isn't hurting too badly for the moment.
3. My computer still works.
4. I did laundry before I broke my arm
5. Vicodin

Posted Several Hours After I started typing it.
March 5th, 2003

Life is hell. And then you die.

Posted Tuesday evening during on of Eric's viciously bad moods.
March 4th, 2003

It's that time again. . . .

It's that time when I get a wiff of my ratty old sweats and want to faint. It's that time when my jeans submit a petition for the right to vote. It's that time when even the cat starts avoiding my room for something pleasant smelling like the litter box. Yep. It's laundry day. I'm proud to announce that it's over, and that I've won a victory against the forces of filth. For now.

So sue me, I'm a bachelor.:)

Post early Thursday evening.
February 27th, 2003

A band called Silencer

As many people know, my younger brother is front man for a state of the art speed metal band named Silencer. Since their formation in 1999, they have released a four song cassette entitled Sledgehammer Chiropractic, a five song CD entitled Kosmos, a double live CD with the now defunct death metal band Serberus called Black Flames & Burning Worlds, and now a new five song CD entitled Structures. They sell them off their website, and through several Denver area stores and world wide underground metal fanzine sales catalogs. They have also done a cover of Black Sabbath's Into the Void that appearred on a Black Sabbath tribute album entitled Hail to the Stonehenge Gods, now available at Tower Records stores around the world. They have toured extenisvely throughout the southwest and played the Milwauke Metalfest for two years now in addition to some club dates in Indianapolis. Their web page is at www.silencer.cc.

I've had the pleasure (or sometimes displeasure I suppose) to meet a great deal of musicians over the course of my life. Some who learned guitar. Others who played bass or drums. I've known quite a few of them who got together to start bands. They were never short on ambition. Some were just cover bands that played parties or area bars. Some actually wrote their own songs and got shows at the local college or at clubs in Albuquerque. Some went as far as to record their own tapes or CDs. Past this though, they seldom seemed very driven to do very much. They were all convinced they were going to make it. But in the immortal words of Tony Robbins, "insanity is not changing anything about your life and routine, and still expecting things to change for you." Musicians, like wannabe actors and film students, are often convinced they are going to set the world affire with their talent or ideas. But they seem categorically unwilling to do anything about it. This inevitably led to them bitching about how stupid the industry was for not discovering them, recognizing them and making them stars. I'm generally polite when some band or musician like this tells me about their plans and dreams. I don't roll my eyes until after they can't see me.

Watching my brother pursue his dreams has been very eye opening. Watching what he has done with Silencer, I suddenly realize why some bands make it and score the ever elusive record deal and why some don't. I realize what separates the bands that make it, and the ones that don't. It's really very simple. Lots of people dream. Few people do. From the moment my brother bought his first electric guitar and started taking lessons and practicing every night, he was pursing his dream, by actually doing something about it. He always knew from the very beginning that nothing was ever just going to happen to him. He knew that for him to get where he wanted to meant he was going to have to actually do it.

It sounds pretty stupid, and obivious. But somehow 99 out of the 100 people who set their sights on making it don't get this simple point. Silencer does. The music business, like any business in the entertainment industry is not one of guarantees. Silencer may spend their entire career working hard and end up with nothing to show for it. I don't believe that, but I acknowledge the possibility, just like they do. But if there was ever a way for a band to do it right, I would say they are doing it. They are driven and hard working. They never rest on their laurels. They are always recording, or touring, or writing, or working on some sort of plan to get exposed to the right people. They play every festival and big show they can get booked for. They set aside entire evenings to stuffing CDs in to envelopes to send of to record labels and reviewers. They have rehersal three times a week without fail. In short, they make things happen. They don't wait for things to happen.

I discovered a similar phenomenon many years ago when I decided to pursue screenwriting. I am currently on hiatus from that particular project, and when I get back into serious writing again, may go the novel route instead. It didn't happen for me. But I can say that I didn't just wish and dream. I actually did something. I learned about screenwriting, and the business. I wrote screenplays. I even have one registered with the Writer's Guild of America, West. I explored potential connections and entered my work into screenwriter discovery contests. And when I told people about my little project and my ambitions, I suddenly discovered I knew all kinds of people who said they were interested in screenwriting too. The difference between me and them, is that I actually pursued it. They hadn't even gone past having the idea. It was rather pathetic when I thought about it.

Silencer is what has convinced me that most musicians I have met will never make it. The example set by Silencer has been what has convinced me that 99 out of a 100 dreamers I meet are going to spend their whole lives with nothing more than their dreams. Because they won't do it. And I honestly believe that the day will come soon in which Silencer will realize their dreams.

Silencer has no illusions about the business. Silencer knows how the major labels are into screwing their artists these days. Silencer has no ambitions to be traditional rock stars. If it happens that way, they certainly won't forsake it. But that is not what they are trying to do. Metal had it's day as a public and popular genre in the 80s. In the 80s, being a good metal band could get you into big records stores and on to MTV. Those days are gone. And that's not to say that metal has gone. It's just underground again.

A successful speed metal band these days gets signed to a label like Century Media, World War III Records or Metal Blade. These labels have enought clout to get their acts CDs into mainstream record stores willing to carry it, and to make their albums available on cdnow.com or Amazon. The labels will cough up tour support and get these bands onto the road, sometimes headlining club shows, and on occasion, opening for a bigger act on an arena tour. And members of bands that made it in the 90s, like In Flames, have told my brother that getting signed, and having their CDs sold around the world, and going on tour pays the rent, but has hardly turned them into wealthy superstars. Making it in a speed metal band these days means it pays the bills, and you can live comfortably off of your success. Just not extravagantly.

And in all honesty, that's all they really want. They want recognition for what they have done within the metal community. They want to be able to do this for a living and quit their day jobs. And I think they will get it. I think they will get signed on one of these independent labels, and in a few years, be well known to people who still keep up with metal. I think that in a few years, I will see them on the road, playings shows throughout the world on tours with bands like In Flames, Nocturnal Rites and Iced Earth. They will never pursue the larger than life, MTV style rock star fame, because that's not what it's all about to them. They've paid their dues, and their day will come.

Posted early Monday evening.
February 24, 2003

Once Burned, Twice Shy

Before I rant with my unusal sarcastic wit and black humor, I want to issue a disclaimer. What happened to the club goers in Rhode Island was tragic and wrong, and I extend my deepest sympathies to the grieving families over their loss.

There. Now that I've said that, I just wanted to say, as a metalhead, how embarrassing is it to die at a GREAT WHITE concert?

I've been a metalhead since I was twelve. I was recruited as a true believer during the now famous and often referred to New Wave of British Heavy Metal that was spearheaded by Def Leppard in 1983. Before that, the only metal I had ever heard or really gotten into was AC/DC. But at the time, I was still much more into stuff like Pat Benatar, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Journey and Foreigner. That all changed when I was played Pyromania. I was quick to jump on the bandwagon and was soon not only into Def Leppard, but Quiet Riot, Motley Crue and Ratt.

It only took about a year for the appeal of hair metal to grow thin, and for me to go looking for more. It didn't take me long to discover what would be my favorite music up until this day: Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, the Scorpions, Judas Priest and of course, the greatest band that ever lived: Iron Maiden. Even though this music would always be my favorite, it didn't stop me from looking into and being curious about something more. That's when a friend of mine loaned me a copy of Metallica's Master of Puppets. I was completely blown away, and quickly drawn into the big bad world of thrash. After Metallica, I was quick to discover the likes of Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax, Death Angel, Motorhead, Metal Church and many more.

I had been to a Rush concert at age twelve, a Quiet Riot/Whitesnake concert at 13, and an Iron Maiden and Scorpions concert the summer before my senior year of high school. But my first experience at a thrash show was when I went to see Metallica in December of my senior year. They were on their very first headlining arena tour for . . . And Justice for All, and Queensryche was opening for them, on their Operation: Mindcrime Tour. This was also the first show where I was on the floor and close to the stage.

It's a special type of person that can come home from a show like that deaf, bruised and bleeding and say they just had the time of their life, but that was me. The world sounded like a test of the emergency broadcast system for a day, and my face looked like I had fallen out of the top of a tree and hit every branch on the way down. My father took one look at me as I came in that night and exclaimed, "What in the hell happened to you?"

That concert only served to whet my apetite for more, and I hit many a show over the next few years fully intent on getting caught in a mosh. There was the Judas Priest/Testament/Megadeth show, the Voivod/Soundgarden concert and the Clash of the Titans tour with Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax and Alice in Chains to name a few. The volume of these concerts was only matched by the brutality.

By this time, I had completely lost interest in hair metal. I grew tired of watching Headbangers Ball on MTV, because it was largely dominated by hair metal. Once you get into speed/thrash, it's hard to ever go back and take a band like Quiet Riot seriously again. My contempt for these "Vidal Sassoon" rockers grew with each decibel of hearing loss.

These days, I can get into and listen to the old hair bands I was into when I first discovered metal and enjoy them. The whole grunge/alterna-trash scene of the 90s got so bad that it even made me nostalgic for hair metal, and made me wonder what I ever had against it at all. Motley Crue's Shout at the Devil is a musical masterpiece compared to any three Nirvana albums put together, and going back and listening to Pyromania makes me wonder how anyone can say a band like No Doubt even has a shred of talent. But what's popular seldom has anything to do with such trivialities like talent. That's not to say I automatically approve of all hair metal. The Crue, or Ratt or Def Leppard I liked. When hair metal degenerated into Great White, Poison, Slaughter, Firehouse, Warrant and all that crap, I never warmed up to it at all.

Now reading the headlines about this fire in RI, I can't help but remember all the jokes I used to make about glam bands using so much hairspray that they needed to keep away from open flame. *VEG* Looks like their un-ozone friendly fashion trends finally came back and bit them in the ass.:)

Vikings and old Saxon warriors in mideval times used to fear dying of old age. It was much more cool and honorable to die on the field of battle. That's how they wanted to go out. In a blaze of glory. In that respect, I think most metalheads like myself would consider it a cool and fitting end to die in a mosh pit at a Slayer, Ministry or Pantera concert. But for anyone to find my body at a Great White concert, torched and flash fried when stage pryotechnics set off tall hair like a flash bulb . . . let's just say I would be glad I was dead, because to survive that, I would never live down the shame.:)

Posted Sunday evening after Eric reads the latest news
February 23, 2003.

A visit to my "inspirations"

I've been in a pretty rotten mood lately. I'm sure those of you who know me realized this when you read the rather scathing tone I used in the FAQ for this blog. LOL. For the most part, this has meant that I played a lot of Aliens vs. Predator 2, and other violent games, and listened to evil music. Those kinds of things always cheer me up. I think the Godflesh songs "Cold World" and "Somewhere Someone Scorned" are my new theme songs for the week.

But there was a ray of sunshine in an other wise bleak week. My friends and I decided to visit Bill and his wife at their new home in northern New Mexico for an all night Dungeons and Dragons game. We had a very good time.

The first neat thing to happen on this trip was that, pulled over in a rest stop on the side of the freeway, we saw an honest to God SCUD missile on it's original Russian launcher. I had never seen one off of a TV screen before. We figured it was on it's way to one of the many military proving grounds in the area.

We got to Espanola, NM. Espanola is the gang-banger/welfare warrior capital of the southwest. It's even worse than Socorro. We locked and loaded, and when we went to Sonic, they wouldn't serve us, because it was after dark, and we parked in one of the slots that wasn't visible from the main lobby window. Bill and his wife Susan met us there, so we went to get some beer, and then from there, we drove the extra 40 miles to their rural house.

For those of you who have either heard me tell stories, or read my fan fiction, you know that I used to live with Bill and that Bill and Susan had quite the collection of dogs and cats. This zoo often served as inspiration for several stories. In specific, I modeled Mr. Lytell's cat harvey off of Bill's cat Stout, and I modeled Dan's pit bull Knucklehead off of Bill's pit bull Jeegan.

Stout is 22 pounds, and all gray. He's a fighter and a patroller, who always looks after his place. He is the only cat they let outside anymore at their new place. Rural NM is crawling with things like bobcats, mountain lions, large owls and other things that like to eat cats. Bill and Susan lost three cats they had had for a long time in one week after moving up there. They have since gotten more, but Stout is the only one they still allow outside. He takes care of himself. Bill says he sometimes comes back after his night patrols with scars on his back as evidence that an owl tried to haul him off. But he is 22 pounds, so they figure somewhere there are some owls with hernias. Stout had never been a very social cat, but upon seeing me, he remembered me, and is much more social now. He wanted to be picked up. So I got my workout for the day.:)

Jeegan of course, was very happy to see all of us. He's mellowed out a tiny bit, but is still the rambunctious pit bull that he's always been. Except now he's even bigger. And when a 100+ pound pit bull acts like an overgrown puppy who doesn't know his own strength, you have to be careful.

We played Dungeons & Dragons till about four in the morning in their very spacious living room in front of the fireplace, and then I fell asleep on the couch in front of the fire. It was very cozy, and I slept for about six hours. I might have slept a little bit longer, except for the fact that once Jeegan woke up, he had to come get me up. So I awoke to the sensation of a forceful nudge, and opened my eyes to see a pit bull with his head rested on my arm, staring at me with those eyes he uses when he wants attention. You just can't say no when a dog looks at you like that.

We were all still pretty sleepy when we drove back, but we had such a good time that our spirits were still high, and now that I've had a chance to visit with Jeegan and Stout again, I may have to sit down and write another animal fan fiction.

I was a bit dubious about making a trip like this on such short notice. We only planned it a week ago. But I'm glad we went. We all needed it. It was good to get away, it was good to see Bill, it was good to see Jeegan and Stout, and it was good to game all night, just like the good old days. With any luck, it will make another week easier to deal with, and maybe instead of Godflesh, I can get into something more mellow like Metallica.:)

Posted On a rare Sunday morning when Eric has actually gotten enough sleep and is up before noon.:)
February 22, 2003.

Pinky Strikes Again

It would appear that my cat has figured out how to spin around her favorite chair. It's rather squeaky. If she follows true to form and goes through her hyper phase right after I go to bed, I'm in for a long night.

Posted Right after dark when Eric finally starts to wake up.:)
February 20, 2003.

A Tale of Two Xbox Consoles

I work for a friend of mine. He sells and deals in gaming products. Everything from Dungeons & Dragons books to Pokemon Cards. He's always considered himself a wheeler and a dealer. I guess most people like him end up selling used cars or something suitably bland. Since he's been a gamer all his life like I have, however, he decided he was going to deal in what he likes. And he has. He is on a first name basis with the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, as well as many other big names in the industry. He was convinced that he could become a millionaire dealing in these products, but soon started to realize that even as a big distributor of gaming's hotest products that opportunities are fairly limited for a distributor to make any serious money. He's had his windfalls, but as of late has decided to branch out. In addition to the big deals he puts together, and his eBay sales, he took some of the money he made on YuGiOh cards, and started up a new Internet Service Provider in Socorro to compete with the only other one that was native to this town. He also set up a web site at www.mackfett.com to sell what he has, and last fall when I was still out of work, and hurting, he brought me on to help him build and maintain the site.

There are seven of us now. There is my friend Lance who runs the actual gaming shop. There are two friends of my bosses, one an ex Tech student, and one a soon to be graduated Tech student that set up the ISP and our server and maintain it. There is my friend Bill's counsin Art, who runs the warehouse and then there is me and Jared. Jared is technically customer service for the ISP, but he helps Lance with the store, and helps me with the website. The pay is fairly miserable, but the work enviornment is great. Most of us were good friends before we were working together, so we talk and gab all day in the office as we work, and listen to music, and swap MP3s. And periodically when my boss isn't worried or stressed, he makes an effort to maintain the friendships, and tries not to act like a boss.

So periodically, when it's slow or we are caught up, we all put aside the busy work we've made for ourselves and do something fun.

To this end, my boss purchased two old big TVs, and two Xbox video game systems, along with a pile of games. He got the networking cables, and enough controllers to plug four people into each box, and set everything up to use a feature most people don't use on their Xboxes: he wired them together for network play. Then he went out and bought two copies of both Halo and Unreal Championship to be able to play on the networked boxes.

Needless to say, the excuses around the office to play Xbox grew fairly thin.:) We wasted many an evening sitting around and playing games of Halo with anywhere from two to eight people involved, and it was always a great deal of fun. Seeing that our offices and warehouse is in the back of a gaming store, this soon caught on to more than the employees. As is common with gaming stores, we encourage people to just come and hang out, even if they aren't shopping. To actually game. To this end there are several tables set up in the store where a crew of local kids show up, often several times a week to trade cards, or actually play games of Yu Gi Oh or the new Lord of the Rings collectible card game. My boss encouraged them to come play Xbox with us as well, and things in the section of the warehouse where the boxes are set up were always jumping.

Today I came into work and was told that someone had broken in and stolen both Xbox's and all of the games.

My boss instantly went into detective mode. Nothing else was stolen. The thief even left the controllers that didn't work. This indicated that this was definitely someone that had been in and played on them before. Secondly, it meant that this was probably someone that just wanted to play Xbox. If they were looking for something to fence, there was all kinds of other things they could have stolen that could have been potentially much more lucrative. My boss thought back to all the kids and shop regulars and suddenly remembered one who had been whining that he really wanted one.

Now this kid in particular has a rather lurid past. When this kid was ten he watched his father blow his own brains out. From what I'm told, his mother became a junkie afterwards, and to help him cope with the loss they pretty much let the kid do what he wanted. So he had been in trouble before. He is currently on probation. What was particularly heartbreaking for my boss was that he had bent over backwards to help this kid before. When this kid was in trouble at school, my boss went with him to the parent-teacher conferences because this kid's mother was too wrecked and wasted to be troubled to. He gave this kid money, and helped him out whenever he could.

At any rate, my boss called the cops, beat the pavement, and started checking into his suspicions. Sure enough, this kid had been into the local video store to rent Xbox games. He went looking with the cops, but couldn't find this kid. They only managed to find one of this kid's very riff raff punk friends. This punk was very evasive. That's when my boss gave the cop the nod. The cop roamed off and as soon as the cop was out of sight, my boss did something to scare this punk that I am not going to repeat on a public post. This kid came clean, and by late this afternoon my boss returned with both Xboxes and all the games. He was not a happy camper.

My boss knows what kind of trouble this kid has been in, but also knows how rough things have been for him. He was very torn as to what to do. But in the end it really didn't matter. This kid was already on probation, and since my boss filed a report with the police before he located the culprit, that pretty much sealed his fate. We were told right before I came home that the cops had picked up both these punks. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I think they are both headed for some quality time at the boys prison in Springer, New Mexico. Regardless, of what happens, I still sincerely hope this kid gets the help he needs.

Posted on A cold wet miserable afternoon in the desert.:)
February 20, 2003

Picture a Journey Beyond Sight and Sound. . . . .

Wow. I’ve taken the plunge. The idea for doing this is not new. In the past however, when the idea of having a blog entered my mind, I went and laid down someplace until the idea went away. Can’t sleep tonight, so I guess that didn’t work.:) I guess I’m about to see how much trouble I can get into with this now. People have assured me that his is fun, and have been after me as of late to do this. I resisted the idea a great deal at first. Resisting what other people want me to do is often a knee jerk response for me, and the more people nag or bother about it, the stronger I typically resist. But whatever. We’ll see where this goes, or whether I decide to keep doing it.

Posted at Some point in the middle of the night, when Eric should really be asleep

Feb. 20, 2003